Yesterday I commented on how you had a 1.43% chance of starting for a domestic Icelandic side if you were a male aged 15-39 using quickmaths^TM .
It got me thinking about other small nations and the likelihood of starting for a team in your own national league if you’re a man of playing age.

The Assumptions

To get a rough estimate, I need to make several sweeping generalisations.
Assumption 1) It’s just men.
Despite exceptions like Yuki Nagasato and Ellen Fokkema, I’ll calculate solely from the amount of men in a nation that are between 15-39.
Assumption 2) It’s every man.
I don’t care if you hate football, if you’ve got a condition preventing you from playing football, or if you’re registered as a citizen of your country but live elsewhere, you’re getting included. Likewise, this means those who live in one nation but are a citizen of another won’t be included.
Assumption 3) Starting XIs can only be comprised of 15-39 year olds.
I know many 40+ year old players will be out there, but this demographic would match the general career of top footballers. I’ll use population pyramids to get the amount of men in this demographic. Pyramids tend to move in 5 year increments so 15-39 is the most fair range I can think of.
Assumption 4) All teams are independent from each other.
Inaccurate I know, but if I was calculating for Spain, I’d be counting Barcelona and Barcelona B as two separate clubs. If there is an easy way to separate the reserve teams from the rest, I won't include them (as you’ll see, I’m quite loose with this assumption).

Method

Find out how many men aged 15-39 are in a country. Divide that by the number of teams in their domestic league. Divide that figure by 11. 1 Divided by this answer and multiplied by 100 will give the % chance of a random male aged 15-39 being in the starting 11 for a team any given matchday.
Formula:
M/T=X
X/11=Y
1/Y=Z
Z x 100 = % chance.
(M = men, T = teams)

Limitations

Lots. I’m not trying to be too serious here. As I’ve said, I’m not factoring in people who can’t play, people who have moved out of the country, players who have come in from a different country etc…
Recordkeeping at lower league levels is hard so even the amount of clubs in a league system is a bit shoddy. Some of the population pyramids are marked poorly so I’ll have to guesstimate as best as I can.

Leagues to look at

These are the 11 domestic leagues I’ll look at. Each of these countries/territories are FIFA recognised. Why these 11? They were all on the lower end of FIFA rankings and population number.

Andorra
Faroe Islands
Gibraltar
Liechtenstein
Luxembourg
Monserrat
New Caledonia
San Marino
St.Kitts and Nevis
Tahiti
Turks and Caicos Islands

So, in order from lower to higher chance…

New Caledonia

Linguistically, New Caledonia is almost identical to Nova Scotia. Climatewise, they’re complete (but not polar) opposites. New Caledonia is neither an overseas region nor an overseas collectivity of France but lies in its own legislative niche in the southwest Pacific Ocean. The 70s was their golden age, with a win over New Zealand and scoring 3 against Bulgaria (only to concede 5). More recently they drew 1-1 against Estonia in 2017.
Their top division contains 12 teams, with a secondary division which contains up to 13 teams in any given season.
A 2019 population pyramid gives me an M number of 54032.
M = 54032 T = 25
Chances of starting for a domestic team = 0.51%.
My favourite domestic team: AS Magenta. They got to the Oceania Champions League Final in 2005, losing to Sydney FC.

Turks and Caicos Islands

A British overseas territory in the Caribbean, the wonderfully named Cockburn Town is it’s capital (pronounced cohw-burn like it’s Edinburgh Street counterpart). Horatio Nelson suffered a rare defeat of the coast of the islands in the 1780s and John Glenn landed near the islands in 1962 after his first spaceflight. Their national team hasn’t achieved much with only one World Cup qualifying win (which they lost on aggregate in the return leg).
Their domestic league has had up to 18 teams in the past, but last season only had 6 in their premier division. This number is fluid so the T number will be between 6-18.
A 2018 population pyramid brought the M number to c.12,200
M = 12200 T = 6-18
Chances of starting for a domestic team = 0.54-1.62%
My favourite domestic team: If you think Red Bull is bad for corporate branding, 2-time league champions KPMG United FC were a strong team in the mid 2000s. In 2006 they changed their name, and won another league title under the new name PWC Athletic.

Tahiti

Tahiti is the largest island in French Polynesia, but FIFA recognises it as a separate footballing nation. Lyle Lanley famously swindled the town of Springfield and fled toward Tahiti. Before he got there however, he was attacked by the inhabitants of North Haverbrook. Tahiti beat the Cook Islands 30-0 in 1971. You might remember Tahiti from the 2013 confederations cup where they played Spain, Uruguay, and Nigeria. They scored 1 and conceded 24 giving them the worst GD of any national team in any major competition.
There are 2 tiers to the Tahiti domestic league, these contain 32 clubs (+14 reserve teams that I won’t count).
A population pyramid for Tahiti is impossible to find, as it is a subregion of French Polynesia. Nevertheless, you can be from any of the other islands and still represent Tahiti. This calculation from a 2020 population pyramid gives me an M number of 52931
M = 52931 T = 32
Chances of starting for a domestic team = 0.67%
My favourite domestic team: It is a tie between AS Excelsior and AS Dragon. Combining them would give the league a mythical allure.

Luxembourg

Luxembourg have been improving rapidly internationally. They beat Hungary in 2017 and they drew 0-0 with France less than a year before France became world champions. Real glory was bestowed upon them in 1980 they reached the semi-finals of the Indonesian Marah Halim Cup where they eventually lost to a Burmese XI.
Luxembourg have 5 tiers in their domestic league. These 5 tiers are home to a massive 104 teams.
A 2019 population pyramid shows Luxembourg having 109,701 males in the relevant age bracket. I clearly underestimated Luxembourg’s population.
M = 109,701 T = 104
Chances of starting for a domestic team = 1.04%
My favourite domestic team: FC Yellow Boys Weiler-la-Tour. What a name. 500pax capacity stadium. They play in the 2nd division which is also known as The Division of Honour. Their primary rivalry is with FC Blue Boys Muhlenbach and FC Red Boys Aspelt with a secondary rivalry against FC Green Boys 77 Harlange-Tarchamps.

Liechtenstein

One of the few double-landlocked countries in the world (they are landlocked as are their bordering countries), Liechtenstein squeezes in between Switzerland and Austria. Their national side signalled the beginning of the end of Jack Charlton’s Irish tenure when they held Ireland to a 0-0 draw in 1995. Ireland went on to get 3 points from a possible 12 and missed out on Euro 96. In 2011 it took until the 97th minute for Scotland to beat Liechtenstein.
The 7 football teams that are based in Liechtenstein all play in the Swiss domestic league. This stretches from FC Vaduz in the top division, to FC Schaan who play in the 8th tier.
The most recent population pyramid I could find was from 2015. No worries. I’ll calculate the M number from the 10-34 age range here instead of the 15-39. In this way it is a slightly more accurate, but still really flawed figure. This number comes to a suspiciously specific 5473
M = 5473 T = 7
Chances of starting for a domestic team = 1.41%
My favourite domestic team: FC Vaduz. I’ve been to Vaduz. It was hot and expensive. While there, I caught a glimpse of Pak Kwang-Ryong, their star striker who has been the North Korean footballer of the year in 2013. Previously he scored against Spurs in 2011.

St.Kitts and Nevis

Saint Kitts and Nevis is a dual island nation in the Caribbean. Neil deGrasse Tyson takes his middle name from his Nevis born grandmother. Founding father of the USA, Alexander Hamilton, was also born on Nevis. As for St Kitts, Marcus Rashford has a Kittitian grandmother. St Kitts and Nevis got to within one round of qualifying for the 2006 World Cup and are the only Caribbean side to beat a European team, when they defeated Andorra in 2015.
The Saint Kitts and Nevis domestic league is split across two tiers and I can find evidence of 14 teams.
A 2018 population pyramid gives me a rough M number of 9,700.
M = 9700 T = 14
Chances of starting for a domestic team = 1.59%
My favourite domestic team: Village Superstars FC. The 7 times league champions have earned their title.

Andorra

Nestled in the Pyrenees, the Andorran national side are the perennial whipping boys of every European and World Cup qualifying cycle. In 2001 they took the lead against Ireland (but conceded 2 in the next two minutes). Albania and Hungary are among the teams that have lost to Andorra previously.
Domestically, clubs play in the Primera and Segona Divisió. I found many defunct clubs but from what I can see, there are currently 18 active clubs in Andorra
The most recent population pyramid I could find was from 2018. Using this data, I calculated that there are c.11,900 males aged 15-39 in Andorra.
M = 11900 T = 18
Chances of starting for a domestic team = 1.66%
My favourite domestic team: FC Andorra. The biggest side. Based in the capital. Named after the country but have never played in the domestic league. They play in Spain. They weren’t included in the calculation.

Faroe Islands

The Faroe Islands did the double over Greece in Euro 2016 qualifying. They’ve also beaten Iceland and Lithuania in the past. The beautiful rugged North Atlantic archipelago voted for independence in 1946 but this result was annulled by the Danes. 2 years later they were granted extensive home rule.
Like Andorra, there are 18 official clubs (There are 4 divisions in Andorra with the bottom ones being exclusively populated by reserve teams. I’ve only counted non-reserve teams in brazen defiance of my 4th assumption).
Again, the most recent population pyramid was from 2018. I found c.8800 15-39 year old males.
M = 8800 T = 18
Chances of starting for a domestic team = 2.25%
My favourite domestic team: B36 Tórshavn. A great run saw them reach the 3rd qualifying round of the Europa League this season, eventually losing out to CSKA Sofia

Gibraltar

Gibraltar has been a FIFA member since 2016. They’ve beaten Armenia, Latvia, Liechtenstein, and San Marino since becoming FIFA members. Their 2 tier national league is currently home to 17 clubs (2 recently disbanded).
Their 2018 population pyramid showed roughly 5600 eligible males living in Gibraltar.
M = 5600 T = 17
Chances of starting for a domestic team = 3.34%
My favourite domestic team: Lincoln Red Imps. They went 1,959 days unbeaten in the domestic league from 2009-2014. Followed up in 2016 with a win over Celtic. Not content with only one Old Firm scalp, they played Rangers this season but got smashed 5-0.

San Marino

One of two states completely enveloped by Italy, San Marino will be remembered for their 1993 match against England when they scored after 8.3 seconds and then went on to concede 7. On the other end of the 90 minutes, they scored an 87th minute equaliser against Ireland only to concede again in the 95th minute in 2007. Turkey, Latvia, Liechtenstein, Gibraltar, and Estonia are the only teams to have ever dropped points against San Marino. A 1-0 win over Liechtenstein in a 2004 friendly remains their only win to date.
The league system in San Marino comprises of 15 teams in two conferences (there is no relegation/promotion). The Sammarinese league is rated 55/55 regarding UEFA Coefficients.
I found a 2016 population pyramid, so like Liechtenstein, I shifted the data to 10-34 year olds for this M number. The number here was c.4800
M = 4800 T = 15
Chances of starting for a domestic team = 3.44% chance
My favourite domestic team: A.S. San Giovanni. The only team from San Marino that has never won anything domestically. They have a downright wacky poorly translated history on Wikipedia which only endeared them to me more.

Monserrat

A volcanic British Overseas Territory in the Caribbean. Due to huge eruptions that started in 1995, more than half of the island is uninhabitable. Many indentured Irish servants were brought to Monserrat which has left a noticeable impression on the demographics of the island. Riley, O'Brien, Farrell, Ryan, and Meade are some of the more prominent surnames on Monserrat. The 'Black Irish' of Monserrat is something that has often been reported on.
Monserrat routinely featured at the foot of the FIFA rankings for many years. On the day of the 2002 World Cup Final, Monserrat played Bhutan in what was called ‘The Other World Cup Final’ as it was between the two bottom ranked sides. Bhutan won 4-0 which was their first ever international win.
Monserrat has had an unstable league system due to constant volcanic eruptions. Teams come and go quite frequently. There are at least 5 times and at most 12, so the T number will be 5-12
With a tiny population, the Monserrat M number is only 1240.
M = 1240 T = 5-12
Chances of starting for a domestic team: 4.44%-9.68%
My favourite domestic team: Oh the Montserratian team names are amazing. Montserrat Volcano Observatory Tremors or the Seven Day Adventists Trendsetters would be my top picks.

Bonus

The Vatican City

The not FIFA recognised, home to so many skewed per capita records, I thought I’d include the Vatican just out of curiosity.
The Vatican actually has an internal domestic league, The Vatican City Championship, with 8 teams. The teams are comprised between the staff of the police, the newspapers, the library, and other administrative bodies. The pope is yet to line up for any of the sides. The league also has a cup competition, The Vatican Supercoppa
The only population pyramid I found was poor and unsourced. As there are minimal women living in the Vatican, It’s safe to assume almost all of the 825 residents are male. As it’s difficult to find age breakdowns, I’ll include every person living in the Vatican as my M number.
M = 825 T = 8
Chances of starting for a domestic team = 10.70%
TL;DR

Domestic League	% chance
New Caledonia	0.51
Turks and Caicos Islands	0.54-1.62
Tahiti	0.67
Luxembourg	1.04
Liechtenstein	1.41
St.Kitts and Nevis	1.59
Andorra	1.66
Faroe Islands	2.25
Gibraltar	3.34
San Marino	3.44
Monserrat	4.44-9.68
The Vatican¹	10.70

¹ Not FIFA recognized.

Conclusion

Want your son to have the best chance of being in a starting XI? You better move to Monserrat. If you’re European and don’t want to move too far maybe San Marino is your best bet.
Of course if you were just looking to get into a matchday squad,you could roughly double the percentage.
There are around 200 countries in the world and I only looked at 5% of them. I’m sure there are other ones with better ratios out there but quite frankly, I’m too lazy.
Thanks for reading!
Sources:
Population pyramids:
https://www.populationpyramid.net/
https://www.theodora.com/
Club numbers:
www.wikipedia.org for general info and then the citations on wikipedia for a more detailed look.
https://int.soccerway.com/
www.FIFA.com

2020 Sakhir GP Free Practice 1 and 2 Debrief - r/Formula1 Editorial Team

2020 Sakhir GP Free Practice 1 and 2 Debrief

Words by u/ZeroSuitFalcon and u/ShowstopperNL
Special contributions on George Russell and Pietro Fittipaldi by u/flipjj

Live Session Discussion Threads

ICYMI

Formula1 Editorial Team’s Pre-Weekend Articles

In what turned out to be one of the busiest weeks of the season, the Formula1 Editorial Team has already produced two articles.
The first, a magnificent look at the history of the Fittipaldi family by u/TheStateOfIt, as Pietro Fittipaldi’s debut makes the Fittipaldis the first family to have a third generation on the grid.
The other is a short profile of one of Haas’ new drivers, Mick Schumacher, as he is finally confirmed in the 2021 grid (the worst kept secret of the year), also representing the continuation of a legacy in the sport. u/UnmeshDatta26 and u/Death_Pig have had this ready for a while, and we are glad to finally run it.

Grosjean Discharged From Hospital as Pietro Fittipaldi Replaces Him for the Weekend

Following last weekend’s horrific crash, Romain Grosjean was discharged from the hospital yesterday. His burns were still wrapped but was able to use his hands again. He returned to the paddock and gathered everyone involved in his crash to thank them for their efforts to rescue him. In a wholesome moment, Grosjean and his wife Marion also met the two firefighters who responded to his crash and were later promoted by the Crown Prince and Prime Minister of Bahrain, named Sergeant Thayer Ali Taher and Sergeant Major John Matthew.
Due to Romain Grosjean being unable to race this weekend, Pietro Fittipaldi was brought into the Haas motorhome and signed a contract to replace Grosjean. Fittipaldi is likely to take Grosjean’s seat again next week at Abu Dhabi for the final race of the season.

Hamilton Tests Positive for COVID-19 and Russell Announced to Replace Him

Perhaps the biggest news post-race was that Lewis Hamilton tested positive for COVID-19. He reportedly tested negative throughout the weekend but began to have mild symptoms after the race. He requested a COVID test which came back positive and he has been quarantined since.
Bahrain and the UAE’s quarantining rules are quite strict but it remains to be seen if Hamilton’s status as a sportsman might allow him to travel to Abu Dhabi privately if he happens to test negative prior to the Abu Dhabi GP.
Many names were thrown around on who would replace Lewis Hamilton, and eventually George Russell was confirmed by Mercedes to replace the 7-time WDC winner. This is Mr. Saturday’s first excursion in a car not named Williams and he comes into the weekend with an undefeated qualifying record.
It will be a remarkable feat if Russell can retain his record after Saturday.

Mick Schumacher and Nikita Mazepin Confirmed for 2021 Season

Current Formula 2 Championship Leader Mick Schumacher has been announced as one of the drivers for Haas in 2021.
While he still has a lot of work to do tomorrow to secure his F2 Championship, his move to the f1 grid next season is secured. It will be quite remarkable to see both Jos Verstappen and Michael Schumacher’s sons in Formula 1 next season.
On the other side of the garage, Nikita Mazepin has finally secured the ever-elusive Formula 1 drive after two seasons in Formula 2. He is currently 3rd in the F2 championship but it is still all to play for during the weekend’s races.
Along with his announcement, Mazepin’s name has been in the news for less savory reasons, both in and out of the paddock.
It will be interesting to see how contrasting the new Haas duo’s personalities are and who will be able to produce the results needed for the team. One thing is certain: it will not be dull.

Aitken Replaces Russell at Williams for the Weekend

Jack Aitken has been in F2 for the past 3 years and now he finally gets his first foray into Formula 1 by replacing George Russell at Williams. The silly season is dynamic and the situation is always changing; will he be able to impress and find a drive for Formula 1 next year or will he be stuck in Formula 2?

Simone Resta leaves Ferrari and moves to Haas F1

Haas have also announced that Simone Resta, the current Head of Chassis Engineering for Ferrari, is joining the USA team for 2021 as a part of their enhanced partnership with Ferrari. Ferrari Team Principal Mattia Binotto said that the move is only helping strengthen the bonds between the two teams, which already includes deals for engines, gearboxes and non-listed parts.
Enrico Cardile, the current Head of Performance Engineering for the Scuderia, will be taking over Simone’s role. This is on the heels of Binotto announcing that the technical side of the team will be undergoing changes as Binotto seeks to create a winning platform for 2022 and beyond.
Simone Resta had left the Scuderia to take up the role of Technical Director for Alfa Romeo in 2018, before returning near the end of the 2019 season as the Head of Chassis Engineering.
With the team undergoing massive change internally, we could hear of more movements being made behind the scenes as the team looks to get ready for the new era of F1.

Track and Tech Talk

The Outer Track for the Sakhir GP is 3.543 km long, and the race will have 87 laps. The oval characteristics of the track allow for over 60% of the track being taken at full throttle which will easily allow sub one-minute fast laps during qualifying tomorrow. It is possible that the top of the field might dip in to the sub-52 seconds, with a sub-50 considered improbable.
This weekend, Pirelli have brought the C2, C3 and C4 compounds from their tire range. The track causes low tire stress but the track surface itself is quite abrasive which is further exacerbated by sand being blown onto the track. A Medium to Hard one-stop strategy for the race is possible, but we may also see Soft-Medium-Medium strategies being deployed. Safety Car periods are not uncommon in Bahrain and, given the tracks’ characteristics, it is not a bad bet that we will again see Bernd Mayländer on Sunday. Coming at the end of this season, with most teams running their last PUs and gearboxes, the possibility of mechanical failures should also not be discounted.

Free Practice 1

The “almost oval, but not actually really close to an oval” outer track layout threw up a new experience for everyone. Before you can go fast you need to go where you are going. Carlos Sainz asked for some directions from a local bystander. After everybody had learned the basics, the session kicked into a higher gear.
Drivers were very eager to find the limits of this outer circuit. Charles Leclerc did some off-roading going into Turn 4 but managed avoid major damage. The tricky chicane in Sector 2 (Turns 7 and 8) gave drivers some headache, Sergio Perez was among them. The Racing Point was seen taking creative lines coming out of Turn 8 and, as more and more drivers abused track limits, Race direction had no choice but to issue a revised set of Director’s Notes addressing the issue.
In his first outing for Mercedes George Russell took a cautious approach. Peter “Bono” Bonnington guided him through using DAS in the first 30 minutes. The young Brit worked a steady practice session and got rewarded for it, finishing as the quickest in FP1. Max Verstappen followed him in the Red Bull, while Russell’s teammate Valtteri Bottas had good pace through the first parts of FP1, but damage to his car hindered his pace by about 0.3. Alexander Albon completed FP1 in 3rd position, only 0.2 behind his Red Bull partner, the Thai spinning coming out of Turn 2 but surviving with just flat spotted tires.
AlphaTauri delivered a very impressive first practice session as the duo of Daniil Kvyat and Pierre Gasly finished 5th and 6th. The Frenchmen had an eventful moment when his right wing mirror almost fell off. If the Italian team can keep improving during the weekend, they could be looking at a good haul of points for the weekend.

Free Practice 2

With track conditions more comparable to qualifying and race, teams focussed on setting up their cars.
The first half of the session was devoted to qualifying simulations. Not long after the session started, the broadcast followed Jack Aitken onboard and caught a close call between Aitken and Kevin Magnussen. And it would not be the only time cars came close together.
It is fairly certain that we will see heavy traffic in qualifying tomorrow, with Q1 being specially complicated with all 20 cars taking part in that session. Watching F2 qualifying, it is easy to imagine a repeat of the debacle of Monza 2019. Teams that work better together are certainly going to benefit, as finding clear space could prove tricky.
Ferrari struggles continued. Vettel spun out of Turn 2 and his teammate Charles Leclerc suffered a gearbox issue which spelled a very early end to the Monégasque’s day. Vettel carried on, but not without more wild moments. While pushing hard on a qualifying simulation, the German dropped a wheel in the gravel and slid across the track quite dangerously. Luckily, Magnussen managed to avoid the spinning Ferrari.
McLaren’s day was not much better than Ferrari’s. Norris damaged his car while hitting kerbs too hard, and, on top of that, both Sainz and Norris suffered technical issues that lost him track time. While Sainz still completed 39 laps despite his issues, Norris could only manage 14.
A few of the front-runners also had a tough session, with Bottas having a particularly scruffy session. He had many laps deleted for going out of bounds in Turn 8, and finished down the order. While on paper Bottas has been slower than Russell, should the Finn manage a clean lap, he should be able to be quicker than his teammate.
Over at Red Bull, both drivers were unhappy with the car, complaining about understeer on soft tires, with both drivers proving their point by running wide at Turn 8. In addition to understeer, Verstappen also cursed over the team radio about a “hopping” issue similar to last weekend. Despite these problems, the Dutchman was only 0.1 behind Russell, who ended an impressive first day with Mercedes on top of the second session as well.

Predictions for Tomorrow

ZeroSuitFalcon
It has been a difficult day for one Valtteri Bottas, he has repeatedly voiced concerns on the radio about his cars handling and has also struggled to keep his car within track limits. My prediction is that Max Verstappen will get pole just barely with Bottas pipping Russell. While Bottas has struggled with the car, his experience for the past 4 years on the current platform cannot be understated. The McLarens and Ferraris will also struggle to qualify as they have suffered from reliability and maneuverability issues. At the back end of the field, Latifi will finally outqualify his teammate for the first time as Aitken looks toward his first F1 qualifying session.
showstopperNL
It wouldn’t surprise me to see one of the leaders get caught out in qualifying. Formula 2 qualifying was already chaotic and it won’t be any different for F1. Overall i think, while he’s struggled today, that Bottas will take pole and win the race. With Hamilton out this should be his race to win. If Russell continues his display I predict he will finish on the podium after a fun fight with Verstappen. In the midfield AlphaTauri looked very good today so i think they’ll carry that into the race and with a little bit of luck could be best of the rest. Gasly has been very strong and Kvyat looked great in practice.

Riding With George and Pietro

As George Russell makes his debut with Mercedes and Pietro Fittipaldi takes over Grosjean’s Haas, we thought it could be a good idea to ride along and see how both drivers got on with their new machines.
First, let us look at how Russell’s day went. As the sessions’ classifications show, he performed quite nicely.

Riding with George

Free Practice 1

Usually, when practice sessions start, the onboards are turned off and you only get the F1TV “no signal” screen. As the broadcast of the Sakhir GP’s FP1 started, George Russell is the cockpit, fiddling with the wheel, setting his mirrors, talking to people off camera, and looking as if he is in a hurry to drive.
Once the #63 Mercedes was made ready to emerge from the pits after a quarter of an hour, however, it was hard to think of Russell as a rookie in the team. He sounded and seemed very comfortable with his surroundings and promptly got to work, learning the Sakhir Outer Loop at the wheel of the W11.
When exploring a track, every minute is important, as drivers take their time learning the intricacies of the layout, even if it is the track destined to produced the shortest lap in Formula 1 history.
Peter “Bono” Bonnington, Hamilton’s engineer who is handling Russell this weekend, asks him for 2 burnouts (reminding him that the race start will be in 2nd gear), and after a practice start Russell is on track with a Mercedes (Bono later mentions that Russell nailed the clutch position). After a bit of DAS usage (only the third ever driver to use it), it all falls into the same rhythm anyone that rides onboard with Lewis Hamilton knows very well. Bono calls out the gaps, inserts a bit of encouragement here and there, and the driver puts a few laps in.
Two fast laps on softs, followed by a discussion with Bono (Russell suggesting two cool down laps, which was then done), and then Russell is in the groove. One interesting tidbit from his first stint was that although Bottas was breaking later and harder according to Bono, Russell was able to carry more speed through the corner. As Russell struggled to find his footing on the Mercedes braking into Turn 1, this message seemed to help him find a better solution to the corner, and he soon started showing more confidence heading into the first heavy braking event of the lap.
Riding onboard, the car does seem just a little bit twitchy, which is something one rarely sees riding with Hamilton, but being the great car it is, the W11 was kind to Russell and the driver responded by treating it gently throughout the day.
For the 20 minutes of his first stint, the improvement was noticeable, culminating in much better braking into Turn 1 as the stint was coming to a close. Overall, although he finished the stint with only the 7th best time, clearly below what the car can do, it was an impressive start and it was impossible not be eager for more.
With about 40 minutes to go, Russell again came out. With his first lap, he shot to the top of the timetable, 0.124 faster than Bottas and 0.243 than Esteban Ocon. Max Verstappen would eventually best his time, but the last lap before ending the stint would prove even better, a 54.546 being almost 0.2 faster than Verstappen and enough for P1.
With a little over 15 minutes to go, Russell again came out, with Bono asking him to experiment with brake balance, introduce lift-and-coast, and generally asking a bit more from Russell during the stint. Although no faster laps were set, as the goal of this stint was clearly not overall pace, Russell did appear to be driving better, especially with a little hesitation on the throttle that was present at the start but was not seen again in the third stint.
FP1 was an impressive display by Russell, especially when looking at the little things. He backed off a lap to find a gap before Bono had told him it was there. He pulled out of laps whenever he needed, instead of worrying about what the team would think, and came back stronger in the next tour. He improved his pace through Turn 8, starting with an unsure lift mid-corner to exiting it flat out and using all the track he could. And his braking into Turn 1 markedly improved as the session progressed (although he still missed the apex on Turn 1 a few times, which he will probably have to improve on as the weekend continues).
Russell seemed extremely comfortable in the car and with the team, and finishing the session with the fastest time certainly will not hurt his confidence for the rest of the weekend, and he also flawlessly handled all of Bono’s requests for changes (in a wheel that is very different from the one he is used to at Williams).
While Bottas had damage to blame for his lack of pace (Mercedes mechanics were seen working on Bottas’ floor), Russell put in the laps, completed his first official session with the team without any errors, and managed to clock the fastest time. It is a great start to his Mercedes weekend.
Although the team is probably happy with the result, Russell’s performance (and clear next-in-line position with the team) does put quite a bit of pressure on his new teammate. Anyone that thought Bottas would be able to take it easy and romp to a pole position and win has by now hopefully realised that it will not be that easy. Russell looks ready to pounce if given the opportunity and any faltering by Bottas will only increase the calls for him to be dropped in favor of Russell.

Free Practice 2

Coming out after about 20 minutes into the session with shiny new hard tires equipped, Russell seemed even more at ease handling the W11. His first foray into Turn 1 was already similar to the best ones from FP1, and he went on to show what he did during the interval between sessions. His first lap took him to P6 (but the fastest on hards) and he would only improve on that.
Immediately after his first flying lap, he had a quick discussion regarding strategy with Bono, handling the traffic nicely. Russell truly looked at home, and not like he was just starting his second ever official session with the team.
Among the improvements, a better handling the T5-8 section and braking with more confidence into Turn 1 were plain to see and as the first FP2 stint developed, his consistency was on display, nailing the laps, not needing to saw at the wheel at any point, just a controlled attack of the track over and over again.
Watching him go around without making any serious mistakes, nailing the lap times, and improving with each one, it was hard not to think that those lucky punters that managed to put a bit of money on Russell winning at astronomical odds. Although nothing is guaranteed in F1, it does look as if Russell will indeed be fighting at the front on Sunday.
Coming out again at the midway point of the session with softs on, Russell immediately set the best time of the session, a 54.713 that was, at the time, 0.153 ahead of Perez. After a cool down lap another fast attempt produced a 54.850 which, although not faster than his previous best, was better than the best lap for P2 at that time.
Even if he was still working on perfecting his brake application in Turn 1, Russell seemed to be very comfortable with everything around him. As he was clearly pushing harder than in FP1, we could see a few errors here and there, especially with the braking into T1 and 10, but nothing that compromised his performance.
As Russell came out for another stint with a little under 30 minutes to go in the session, Bono was not holding back, showering his driver with information all around any lap he was not going for time. And Russell again responded perfectly, nailing all the requirements, and still not making any big mistakes throughout the session.
Finally, the soft tire party was over and with a little under 20 minutes to go the #63 Mercedes pitted for hard tires. With his first perfect pitstop placement (before that, he was 5 cm off target), Russell immediately went out with hard tires. His first laps matched his pace on used softs from earlier, and even if he did take a few more liberties with the track limits as he pushed with less grip than before, his improvement was still clear to see, especially his braking into Turn 1.
As the stint developed, Bono kept piling on the setting changes all over a lap, moving various things from time to time, and Russell kept responding without a hitch. Considering the changes that are asked of Hamilton during qualifying and races, Bono expanded his repertoire quite a bit, and it is hard not to feel that it was all as a test to Russell’s ability to cope with the avalanche of information.
He did make a mistake braking into Turn 1 in his final attempt at a fast lap, but that does little to diminish the shine of his performance today. Especially since, as the clock expired, Russell’s name was still at the top of the timesheet, 0.128 faster than Verstappen.
Yes, many people will cry “that proves anyone can win in a Mercedes”, but it is hard to deny, having watched Russell’s F2 career and what he has been able to do at Williams, that all the signs point towards him indeed being a great talent.
If Russell’s FP1 performance was impressive, his FP2 made it feel as if he had been in the car since the start of the season, and today was just a regular Friday at work. It is pretty clear that he aced the first test Mercedes set for him. Now we have to wait to see what happens on Saturday and Sunday.
The rest of the weekend should be very interesting.
Finally, a word on Bono.
Many people tend to overlook his importance and that is a mistake. His calm and steady voice is a crucial part of Hamilton’s romp through the record books and today was a great day to see why. Bono’s influence on what Hamilton (and Russell this weekend) does is clear and today it was easy to see his qualities and his influence.
At the start, he only called out the gaps to other drivers, allowing Russell to settle. As the lap count increased, he started giving Russell more and more input, and by the time the session had 30 minutes to go, one could be tricked into thinking he was talking to Hamilton (although Russell is much louder than Hamilton when responding).
The information stream increased dramatically, Russell seemingly more comfortable asking questions as well, they discussed braking into Turn 1, lights on the dash, where to try to gain more time, it did not look as if Bono was holding back. After the second stint, Russell even asked for the delta heading to the pits before Bono could tell him, showing that the Williams driver was feeling at home behind the wheel of the W11.
In addition to the pleasure of seeing Russell finally getting a car that matches the potential many people see in him, it was also a privilege to see another piece of the puzzle that performs at the top of their game. Bono steered Russell through his first session with Mercedes flawlessly and gently, helping Russell navigate the differences between Williams and Mercedes, sort out his issues braking into Turn 1 and, in the process, the duo threw down the gauntlet to Bottas.

Riding With Pietro

As he becomes the third generation of Fittipaldis (link goes to u/TheStateOfIt’s fabulous Fittipaldi Family feature, be sure to read it) to drive an F1 car, Pietro had a quiet session. An installation lap, followed by a long stint in the pits, and then finally he was unleashed onto the track on hard tires.
A couple of laps to get temperature into the tires and a proper practice session was underway. For his first stint, Fittipaldi used his early laps to acclimatise to the car and the track before taking a few fast laps. After cooling the car and the tires for a bit, Fittipaldi again went on the attack.
Although he did not set the timing screens on fire (which would have been quite miraculous, considering the Haas’ pace this season), Fittipaldi had a very competent first stint, with no big errors and seemingly hitting the targets set by the team. The Haas pitwall obviously did not ask him to do too much at the start, but the performance must be encouraging, especially considering the circumstances that brought about his debut. At the end of the stint, as Fittipaldi parked the car, the shutdown procedure was explained again to him, with the driver remarking that it is a lot of things to remember, to wit his engineer very supportively assured him that if he needs anything, the team is there for him, so he can concentrate on driving and not worry about these things. As a rookie having his first official outing, it must have been music to Fittipaldi’s ears.
For his second stint, he went out on softs and promptly set a few fast laps, handling the car nicely throughout. He seemed at ease in the cockpit, and did not seem to be feeling any pressure as he calmly set his laps. The car’s limitations are still obvious, but it did seem as if Fittipaldi was not leaving a lot of time on the table. That is, until he wrecked his set of softs (a very nice stream of profanities followed), which robbed him of valuable track time.
He finished the session in P19, a bit under a second behind Kevin Magnussen in P17, 0.3 behind Latifi and ahead of Aitken by 0.110. As his first experience in an official F1 session, this was a good start and something he can build upon towards a good showing on Sunday.
I know it is silly national pride only, but it was very nice to see the Brazilian flag on the side of a Formula 1 car again.

[Share] My Music Library Index (861GB)

Hello everyone. I made a post about two months ago sharing my library index (646GB at the time). I was working with 400GB of space back then so I went with a request format so people could comment and request titles on my list. However, I have since exceeded that storage space limit through the sheer number of requests I've been getting so I decided to purchase more space to accommodate everyone's needs. As a result, I now have enough space to upload my entire library which is what I have done. Please enjoy!

aHR0cHM6Ly9tZWdhLm56L2ZvbGRlci96bDBtR1FDUSN3S21ORzVlUmdDVmxSeC0wUTlFQS1R

*This keeps coming up on my last post, so I will reiterate it here:
This is not a request post. I'm sharing what I have in my library. Please do not request titles that aren't listed below. Thank you. :)

If there's no quality specified, it's FLAC at 16bit / 44.1 or 48 kHz
[320] MP3 at 320kbps, when this number is 3 digits and not 16/24 it is always MP3 with the number indicating kbps
[24] FLAC at 24 bit, if the sampling rate is higher than 44.1/48kHz it will be specified
[MQA] will be specified after bit-rate
Discographies are studio albums mostly, some include EPs/Mixtapes/Live albums as well
All albums listed are complete, unless otherwise noted.
If there are multiple formats available within an album, they will be in separate sub folders.
Occasionally there will be albums with mixed formats, which will be noted.
There's a small percentage of titles that are labeled in FLAC but are actually upsampled MP3. Unfortunately I'm not quite sure which ones they are. I'd estimate this to be less than 3% of the collection.
Some video content are also included with certain titles.
I think that would be all for now. Please let me know if you have any concerns or questions below.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2 Chainz - Discography (2012-2020)[16~24/96]
2 Pac - 2Pacalypse Now, Strictly 4 My NIGGAZ, Me Against the World, All Eyez on Me, Americaz Most Wanted
8 Mile Original Soundtrack
8Ball - Lost
21 Savage - Slaughter King [320], Savage Mode, Savage Mode II [24]
50 Cent - Discography (2003-2014), Power of the Dollar EP+Unreleased, Guess Who's Back [Mixtape], The New Breed [Documentary CD], Get Rich or Die Tryin' OST, This is 50 [Mixtape], The Kanan Tape [Mixtape], Best Of [Compilation], Singles
112 - 112, Room 112
A Boogie wit da Hoodie - Artist, The Bigger Artist, Hoodie SZN, Artist 2.0 [24]
A Great Big World - Is There Anybody Out There? [320]
A$AP Ferg - Furious Ferg, Floor Seats II [24]
A$AP Rocky - Live.Love. ASAP, Long. Live. ASAP, At. Last. ASAP [24], Testing [24]
Aaryan Shah - In the Making, The Arrival: Part I+II [16~24]
AC/DC - Discography (1976-2020)[16~24/96]
Ace Hood [320] - Discography (2008-2013)
Mixtape: Ace Won't Fold, All Bets on Ace, Final Warning, Street Certified, The Preview, I Do It.. For the Sport, The Statement, Body Bag Vol.1, Sex Chronicles, The Statement 2, Body Bag Vol.2, Starvation, Starvation II

ACG:
.hack_Sign OST 1+2 [320]
Castlevania - Akumajo Dracula Best Music Collections Box
Curse of Darkness - Prelude of Revenge
Harmony of Despair
Lament of Innocence
Lament of Innocence Limited Edition Music Sampler
Lords of Shadow - Mirror of Fate
Symphony of the Night
Death Note OST 1+2+3 [320]
Detective Conan OST 3
Final Fantasy Symphonic Suite
Final Fantasy VII OST
Final Fantasy VII Reunion Tracks
Final Fantasy VII Remake
Final Fantasy VIII
Final Fantasy X
Gensomaden Saiyuki - OST 1, Single Collection
Guilty Gear X - Heavy Rock Tracks, Rising Force of Gear Image Vocal Tracks
Guilty Gear XX OST
Guilty Gear XX - Sound Alive/A.S.H.
Hikaru no Go - Theme Song Selection
Howl's Moving Castle - OST [24], Symphony Suite [320]
Hunter x Hunter - OST 1+2+3, The Last Mission
Joe Hisaishi - Dream Songs/The Essential Joe Hisaishi [24]
Koudelka
Legend of Mana [320]
Madlax
My-HiME - OST 1+2
Neon Genesis Evangelion - Single Collection, "A Cruel Angel's Thesis" [24_192]
NieR:Automata [24]
Noir - OST 1+2+3
Ragnarok Online Complete Soundtrack
Rockman Zero: Remastered Tracks, Collection Soundtrack -résonnant vie-
Rockman Zero & ZX Sound Box (Zero 1+2+3+4, ZX, ZX Advent)
Rockman Zero/ZX Reploid Remixes
Rockman ZX: Soundsketch -ZX Gigamix-, ZX Tunes, ZXA Tunes
Rurouni Kenshin - OST 1 [320], OST 2+3+4, CD BOX [320], Director's Collection, Premium Collection, Songs, The Best Theme Collection
Shaman King - Comics Image Album, Melody of the Spirits, Osorezan Revoir ~au revoir~, Osorezan Revoir ~prologue to shaman~, Single Vocal Album, Vocal on Parade!!
Slayers TRY Treasure BGM
Spirited Away [320]
The Legend of Zelda - Majora's Mask, Ocarina of Time, 25th Anniversary Special Orchestra CD
Tsubasa Chronicle - OST 1+2+3+4
Yu-Gi-Oh! Theme Song Single Collection
Z.O.E. - Zone of the Enders, Anubis: Zone of the Enders
Zenki - Character Song Collection 2, OST 2 Raigou Shourin!!
軒轅劍三外傳:天之痕 - 三個人的時光
風色幻想 - 1+SP+2+3+4+5

Adam Ben Ezra - Discography (2015-2020)
Adam Lambert - Trespassing
Adam Lopez - The Popera, Showstopper, Till the End of Time
Adele - Discography (2008-2015)
Afek-T - Les brumes, "Impassible"
Agnes Obel - Philharmonics, Aventine, Citizen of Glass [24], Myopia [24]
Akon - Trouble
Alabama Shakes - Boys & Girls, Sound & Color
Alejandro Fernández - de noche - clasicos a mi manera, Confidencias [320]
Alicia Keys - Songs in A Minor
Aloe Blacc - Shine Through, Good Things, Lift Your Spirit
Aloosh - Separate, Ceramic [24/96]
Amber Run [320] - 5am, For a Moment I Was Lost
Amy Winehouse - Frank [24], Back to Black [24/96], Lioness: Hidden Treasures, At the BBC
Andrea Bocelli - Romanza, Verdi
Angra - Discography (1992 - 2010)[160~231, except Temple of Shadows in 16]
Anita Baker - Rhythm of Love
Anthony Ramos - The Freedom EP, The Good & The Bad
Ariana Grande - Discography (2013-2020)[16~24/MQA]
Arvo Part - Various works
Audiophile Analog Collection Vol. 2 [DSD256]
Aurora - Discography (2015-2019)[24, except Infections of a Different Kind in 16]
AZ - Doe or Die
Az Yet - Az Yet, She's Magic
Babyface - The Day
Bad Meets Evil - Hell: The Sequel
Ballet Class Music [320]
Banks - Discography (2014-2019)[16~24/MQA]
Basso Profondo from Old Russia
Belly - Another Day in Paradise, Inzombia, Mumble Rap, Immigrant
Beyoncé - 4, Beyoncé, Lemonade
Big Boi - Boomiverse
Bilal - 1st Born Second
Bill Evans Trio [320] - Explorations, Sunday at the Village Vanguard, Waltz for Debby
Bill Withers - Lovely Day: The Very Best of Bill Withers
Billie Eilish - Discography (2017-2020)
Birdy - Discography (2011-2016)
Bishop Briggs - EP [24MQA], Church of Scars [24MQA], Champions [24]
Black OST
Black Hill - Discography (2014-2019)[16~24]
Stvannyr - Secrets of the runes
Black Panther - Original Score [24], The Album [24], Wakanda Remixed [16]
Blindspotting - The Collins EP, The Miles EP
Bloom - Sinses
Blue - All Rise
Bob Marley & The Wailers - Legend
Bone Thugs-n-Harmony - Creepin on ah Come Up EP
Brent Faiyaz - A.M. Paradox EP, Sonder Son, Lost EP, Fuck the World
Bruno Mars - Discography (2010-2016)
Busta Rhymes - The Coming
Call Me By Your Name OST
Camila Cabello - Romance
Cardi B - Gangsta Bitch Music Vol.1 [128], UnderEstimated - The Tour Album [128], GBMV2 [128], Invasion of Privacy
Carolina Eyck - Discography (2008-2019)
Case - Open Letter
Céline Dion - All the Way... A Decade of Song, A New Day Has Come, Courage
Charlotte Cardin - Big Boy EP, Main Girl EP
Charlotte Cardinale - Florescentia
Chase Holfelder - Major to Minor, Vol. 1+2
Chet Faker - Thinking in Textures, Built on Glass, Lockjaw
Childish Gambino - Camp, Because the Internet, 3.15.20, "This is America"
Chingy - Jackpot
Chloe x Halle [24] - Sugar Symphony EP, The Kids Are Alright, Ungodly Hour
Choral: Aliqua, Chor Leoni Men's Choir Discography (1998-2018), Christmas with The Princeton Singers, musica intima (clear), Rajaton (Boundless, Tarinoita), The Manitou Singers - Repertoire for Women's Voices, Vol. 2
Christina Aguilera - Christina Aguilera [320], Stripped, Back to Basics, Bionic, Lotus [320], Liberation [24]
Cirque du Soleil - Discography (1992-2015)[128~320, 3 albums in 16]
Clann [24] - Kin Fables, Seelie

Classical:
100 Great Symphonies
Bach - Selected Organ Works, The Famous Cantatas, The Six Motets
Beethoven - Complete String Quartets, Piano Sonata No.8 op.13 'Pathetique', Piano Sonata No.14 op.27 'Moonlight', Piano Sonata No.23 op.57 'Appassionata'
Brahms - Brahms on Life and Love, Requiem, Symphony No.1
Bruckner - Te Deum
Chopin Complete Piano Music [192]
Dvořák - Mass in D, Requiem, Symphony No.7+8+9
Fauré - Requiem
Glazunov - Violin Concerto in Am op.82
Grieg - Piano Concerto op.16 in Am
Liszt - 10 Hungarian Rhapsodies, Jorge Bolet - Favourite Piano Works, Piano Works
Mendelssohn - Symphony No.4, Violin Concerto in Em
Mozart - Clarinet Concerto in A, Concerto in C for Flute, Harp, Orchestra, Horn Concerto No.4, Piano Concerto No.20, Piano Concerto No.21, Requiem
Paganini - Salvatore Accardo plays Paganini's Guarneri del Gesu 1742
Schubert - Piano Sonata No.14+19
Schumann - Piano Concerto op.54 in Am
Tchaikovsky - Piano Concerto No.1, Romeo and Juliet Fantasy Overture, The Symphonies [192]
Verdi - Requiem
Vivaldi - Concerto in C for Violin and Double Orchestra, Concerto in D for Violin and Double Orchestra, The Four Seasons

clipping - CLPPNG [24], There Existed an Addiction to Blood
Coco OST
Coolio - Gangsta's Paradise
Corey Payette - Children of God, Les Filles du Roi
Craig David - Born to Do It, Slicker Than Your Average
Cris Derksen - The Cusp [320], The Collapse, Orchestral Powwow
Curtis Clearsky and the Constellationz - Indigifunk
D12 - Devil's Night, D12 World
Daley - Discography (2011-2017)
D'Angelo - Brown Suger, Black Messiah [24/96]
Darren Hayes - Spin
Daveed Diggs - Small THings to a Giant, Seven Nights in Chicago
David Morin - Every Colour
Deen Squad Mixtape 2015 [320]
Destino - Forte, Beginning Again
Destiny's Child - Destiny's Child, #1s
Disclosure - Caracal
DJ Danger Mouse - The Grey Album
DJ Drama - Quality Street Music 2
Dmitri Shostakovich - Symphony No.1+2+3+4+5+6+8+9+12+14+15, Violin Concerto No.1
DMX - It's Dark and Hell is Hot, Flesh of My Flesh, Blood of My Blood, ...And Then There Was X
Dr. Dre - 2001, Compton
Drake - So Far Gone [320], Thank Me Later [320], Take Care [320], Nothing Was the Same [320], If You're Reading This It's Too Late
Dream Theater - Discography (1989-2019)[16~24/96]
Dream Warriors - Subliminal Simulation
Drezus - Red Winter, Indian Summer
Dru Hill - Dru Hill, Enter the Dru
Dumbfoundead - Discography (2011-2016), Café Bleu, Inside/Outside [24]
Dylan Brady - All I Ever Wanted [24], Choker, Dog Show, This Car Needs Some Wheels
Eagles - Discography (1972-1979)[24/192]
Eazy-E - It's On (Dr. Dre) 187um Killa, Eternal E
Elijah Blake - Discography (2012-2019)
Eminem - Discography (1996-2020)[16~24/96]
En Vogue - Funky Divas
Enrique Iglesias - Enrique, Euphoria
ES Posthumus - Unearthed [320]
Evanescence - Discography (2003-2017)[16~24]
Fantastic Negrito - Discography (2014-2020)
Far East Movement - Free Wired
FKA Twigs - LP1, Magdalene
Flipsyde - Discography (2005-2012)[128~320]
Florence + the Machine - Discography (2009-2018)[16~24/96]
Flume - Skin [24]
For Vance - Live at Bangor Abbey [16], From Muscle Shoals [24]
Frank Ocean - Discography (2011-2016)[16~24]
Frank Sinatra - Ultimate Sinatra
Frozen OST
Frvrfriday - More Than You Know, Offline, WHOISFRIDAY [24]
Fugees - The Score
Future - Beast Mode [24], Future [24/96]
Gallant - Zebra [320]
Game of Thrones - S1-8 OST, Various Orchestra Albums, For the Throne
Gary Jules - Trading Snakeoil for Wolftickets
Get Out OST
Ghost - Meliora [24]
Ginuwine - Ginuwine... The Bachelor, 100% Ginuwine
Gorillaz - Discography (2001-2020)[24/MQA~24/96]
Grace VanderWaal [24] - Perfectly Imperfect, Just the Beginning
Guru - Jazzmatazz Vol. 1
GZA - Liquid Swords
Hamilton: An Americal Musical - Cast Recording, Hamildrops [AAC], Instrumentals [AAC], The Hamilton Mixtape [AAC]
Hans Zimmer - Batman Begins OST+Recording Session, The Dark Knight [24/96], Sherlock Holmes, Inception [16~24][5.1], The Dark Knight Rises [24/192], Intersteller [24], Blade Runner 2049, Live in Prague [24], The Classics [24/96], The Lion King (2019)[24]
Harry Potter OST
Hercules [192]
Higher Brothers - Black Cab, Five Stars
Hozier - Discography (2013-2019)[16~24]
Igorrr - Hallelujah
Il Divo - Discography (2004-2018)
In tha Beginning... There Was Rap
Ingrid Michaelson - Discography (2005-2014)
iskwē - iskwē, The Fight Within, acakosik
J. Cole [24] - 2014 Forest Hills Drive, Forest Hills Drive: Live
J.S. Ondara - Tales of America (The Second Coming) [24/192], Folk n' Roll Vol.1: Tales of Isolation [24]
Jacques Loussier Trio - Vivaldi- The Four Seasons
James Blake - Discography (2011-2020)
James Vincent McMorrow [320] - Early in the Morning, Post Tropical
Janelle Monáe - Discography (2010-2018)[16~24], Metropolis: Suite I (The Chase) EP
Janne - Meeting the Wolf EP
Jasmine Cephas Jones - Blue Bird
Jay-Z - Discography (1996-2017)[16~24]
JB the First Lady - Get Ready Get Steady, Indigenous Girl Lifestyle, Meant to Be, Righteous Empowered Daughter
Jeremih - That Body, All About You, Late Nights: The Album, Late Nights: Europe
Jeremy Dutcher - Wolastoqiyik Lintuwakonawa
Jessie Ware - What's Your Pleasure? [24]
Jhené Aiko - Chilombo [24/96]
Jimi Hendrix - Experience Hendrix- The Best of Jimi Hendrix
JMSN - Discography (2011-2019)
Joe - All That I Am, My Name is Joe
John Coltrane - Both Directions at Once/The Lost Album
John Legend - Discography (2005-2016)[320~16]
Jon Mcxro - The Fifth of Never [320~16]
José Tomás Molina - Discography (2014-2019)[16~24]
Josh Groban - Discography (2001-2015)[320, except Stages in 16]
Joss Stone - Introducing... Joss Stone
Juice OST
Justin Timberlake - Discography (2002-2013)[16~24]
k.d. lang - Ingénue, Invincible Summer
Kadebostany - Pop Collection, Monumental [24]
Kanye West - Discography (2003-2019)[320-24]
Kehlani - Discography (2014-2020)
Keith Ape - Project: Brainwash, Born Again, various singles
Kelly Fraser - Sedna
Kendrick Lamar - Discography (2011-2017)
Kerry Muzzey - Trailer Music 3, The Architect, Trailer Music 4: Neo
Kevin Garrett - Mellow Drama, A Heart Like Yours, Hoax, Made Up Lost Time, Singles
Kid Cudi - Discography (2008-2013)[ALAC]
Kiel Magis - Kiel Magis
Kieran Fearing - Reprieve
Kieran Martin Murphy - The Painter's Hand, Theatrics

Korean:
DJ Doc - 4th Album
eAeon - Guilt-Free
H.O.T. - We hate all kinds of violence, I yah!, Age of Peace OST, Outside Castle, The Best
IU - Miscellaneous
Park Wan Kyu - 천년지애 (千年之愛)
Rain - First Drop
Shinhwa - First Mythology, My Choice, Wedding
Taeyang - Hot [EP]
Taeyeon - Miscellaneous

k-os - Exit, Joyful Rebellion, Atlantis: Hymns for Disco
Koutev Bulgarian National Ensemble
Krizz Kaliko - Son of Same [239~270], Go [320]
Kubo and the Two Strings OST
Kwabs - Wrong or Right [245], Pray for Love, Walk, Love + War
La La Land - The Complete Musical Experience [24]
La Quinta Estación - Sin Frenos [192]
Lady Gaga - Discography (2008-2020)[24]
Ladysmith Black Mambazo [192~257] - The Very Best of
Lana Del Rey - Discography (2012-2019)[16~24]
Lauryn Hill - The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill
Le Flow - The Definitive French Hip Hop Compilation
Le Mystère des Voix Bulgares - Vol.1+2 [320]
Le mystère des voix Corses - les plus belles polyphonies [320]
Led Zeppelin - Discography (1969-1982), Remasters [24/96]
Lenny Kravitz - Greatest Hits
Leonard Cohen - The Future
Les Choristes OST
Les Musiciens de Saint-Julien - The High Road to Kilkenny
Leslie Odom Jr. - Leslie Odom Jr. [24], Mr.
Lhasa de Sela - La Llorona [320]
Lil Dicky - Hump Days [256], So Hard [320], Professional Rapper [128]
Lil Uzi Vert - Eternal Atake
Linkin Park - Discography (2000-2020)[16~24/96/MQA]
Lionel Richie - Back to Front
Loïc Nottet - Selfocracy, Sillygomania
London Grammar - If You Wait [24/96], Truth is a Beautiful Thing [24]
Lou Val - Lonely in Paradise, Don't Look Now, Singles
LP - Lost on You
Ludacris - Chicken-Beer, Release Therapy
Ludovico Einaudi - Echoes: The Einaudi Collection, Una Mattina, Divenire [320], Nightbook, Islands: Essential Einaudi [320], Elements [320], Seven Days Walking [24]
Luniz - Operation Stackola
Mac Miller [24] - Swimming, Circles
Madredeus - Various albums (1987-2005)[128~320]
MAGIC! - Don't Kill the Magic, Primary Colours, Expectations
Maksim - Discography (1999-2010)[320, except 2 albums in 16]

Mandarin:
5566 - 1st Album
Energy - E3, 無懈可擊, 米迦勒之舞
F4 - 煙火的季節
IPIS 蟑螂 - 第四蟑
RuRu - 美麗心情
S.H.E. - 青春株式會社, 美麗新世界, Together
Tension 天炫男孩 - Discography (2001-2004)
不能說的秘密 OST [148~224]
伍佰 - 夢的河流, 冬之火九重天演唱會特選錄音專輯
伍思凱 - 分享
南拳媽媽 - 南拳媽媽的夏天
周杰倫 - Discography (2000-2006)
宋岳庭 - Life's a Struggle
張信哲 - 精選, 從開始到現在
張學友 - 走過1999, 張學友音樂之旅Live演唱會
張智成 - 凌晨三點鐘
張衛健 - 齊天大聖孫悟空
徐婕兒 - 愛之初
戴佩妮 - 怎樣
手牽手大合唱
林俊傑 - 樂行者, 第二天堂
海豚灣戀人 OST
王心凌 - Begin...
臥虎藏龍 (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) OST
英雄 (Hero) OST
范逸臣 - 同名專輯
蔡依林 - 看我72變, 城堡
薔薇之戀 OST
許慧欣 - 孤單芭蕾, 幸福
謝霆鋒 - VIVA, 了解, Viva Live 謝霆鋒演唱會
郭富城 - 目眩城迷全精選
陳冠希 - Edison Chen
陳小春 - 抱一抱, That's Mine

Mandido - Time on Our Hands
Marc Anthony - Discography (1993-2013)[320]
Marian Hill - Discography (2013-2020)[320~24]
Mario - Turning Point
Marvin Gaye - Discography (1961-2019)[16~24/192]
Mario Frangoulis - Various Albums (1998-2014)[128~320]
Marques Houston - MH
Mase - Harlem World
Master P - Ghetto D
Matt Corby - Into the Flame [EP], Resolution [EP], Live on the Resolution Tour [EP], Telluric, Rainbow Valley
Max Richter - Discography (2002-2020)[16~24/96]
MC 900 ft. Jesus - Welcome to My Dream, Open Step Ahead of the Spider
Meek Mill - Dreams Worth More Than Money [24], Championships
Metallica - Discography (Remastered)(1983-2020)[24]
Metro Boomin - Not All Heroes Wear Capes
Miah Luz - The Coming LP
Michael Bolton - Only a Woman Like You
Michael Bublé - Discography (1995-2013)[96~320]
Michael Conway Baker - Four Musical Portraits
Michael Jackson - Discography (1972-2014)[320 except Invincible in 16], The Ultimate Collection, The Essential Michael Jackson [24], King of Pop
Migos - Discography (2015-2018)[16~24]
Miguel - Discography (2010-2017)[16~24]
Miles Davis - Birth of the Cool [24/192], Bitches Brew [24/88], Kind of Blue
Mirah - Discography (1997-2009)[198~256]
Misha Mishenko - Discography (2016-2019)
Missy Elliott - Under Construction
Moana OST
Mob Bounce - Transformation, "Vision Quest"
Mobb Deep - The Infamous, Infamy
Mos Def [ALAC] - Black on Both Sides, The Ecstatic
Moulin Rouge! OST
Muddy Waters - Anthology
Muse - Origin of Symmetry [24/96], Absolution [24/96], The 2nd Law [24/96], Simulation Theory, Drones [24/96]
Musical Theatre - Various Musical Cast Recordings (1934-2017)[170~202, except Come From Away and Hamilton in 16]
Nahko - Dark as Night, On the Verge, Hoka [320], My Name is Bear [320]
Namie Amuro - Break the Rules, Genius 2000
Nas - Illmatic, It Was Written, Stillmatic, God's Son [ALAC], The Lost Tapes, Street's Disciple, Life is Good
Naturally 7 - Discography (2000-2015)
Naughty by Nature - 19 Naughty III
Nav - Good Intentions [24]
Ne-Yo - Discography (2006-2012)[320~16]
Night Lovell - Discography (2014-2019)[320~24]
Nina Simone - The Essential of Nina Simone [24/96]
Nipsey Hussle [ALAC] - Crenshaw, Victory Lap
Niro - Les autres
Niykee Heaton - Bad Intentions [320], The Bedroom Tour Playlist, Starting Over
Norah Jones - Come Away with Me, Feels Like Home, Not Too Late, Pick Me Up Off the Floor [24/96]
Notre-Dame de Paris (Musical) Cast Recording
NSYNC - No Strings Attached
Obie Trice - Cheers
October London - Discography (2016-2018)[320, except Color Blinds in 16]
Omar LinX - A Cold Welcome [320], City of Ommz, The Living Dead EP [128], Victor [320], M.O.R.
Omarion - O, 21, Ollusion
Once OST [96]
Onegin (Musical)
Opera Babes - Beyond Imagination
P. Diddy - No Way Out, The Saga Continues..., Bad Boy's 10th Anniversary... The Hits
PartyNextDoor - PX3
Pentatonix - Various albums [128~320]
Peter Gundry - Discography (2016-2019)[16~24]
Pharrell - Girl [24]
Pink Floyd - Discography (1967-2014)[16/24/MQA/DSD64]
Playboi Carti - Die Lit
PNL - Deux frères [320]
Portishead - Discography (1994-2008)
Post Malone - Discography (2016-2019)[16~24/88]
Prince - Discography (1978-2019)
Pusha T - Daytona [24]
Putomayo - World Reggae, Asian Lounge
Quavo - Quavo Huncho [24]
Queen - Discography (1973-1995), Live Killers, Live at Wembley '86, Greatest Hits, The Platinum Collection,
Rae Sremmurd - SremmLife, SremmLife 2
Raincity - Tell Me, Stuck on Replay, Raincity EP
Raleigh Ritchie - You're a Man Now, Boy
Reggie Couz - Just Couz, singles
Rick Ross - Discography (2006-2017)
Ricky Martin - Ricky Martin, Música + Alma + Sexo
Rihanna - Discography (2005-2016)
Riit - ataataga
Robyn - Body Talk Pt. 1 + 2, Body Talk
Rockapella - 2
Roscoe Dash - J.U.I.C.E. [320], Dash Effect [160]
ROSK - remnants
Ruelle - Up in Flames, Madness, Rival, Emerge, Ode to Shadows, Earth Glow, Exodus
Run the Jewels - Run the Jewels 2, RTJ3 Instrumentals [24/96]
Sade - The Best of Sade
Saint-Preux - Concerto pour une voix
Sam Chimes
Sam Cooke - Portrait of a Legend 1951-1964
Sam Smith - Discography (2014-2017)
Sandra van Nieuwland [320] - And More, Banging on the Doors of Love
Santino Le Saint - Cloud 304, Xeno, Rage of Angels, Blue Pill [24+16], Red Pill, Singles
Sara Bareilles - Discography (2007-2015)[320, except What's Inside - Songs from Waitess in 24]
Scorpions - Discography (1972-2015)
Scott Leonard - 1man1mike
Sevdaliza - Discography (2017-2020)
Shai - If I Ever Fall in Love...
Sia - Discography (1997-2017)[16, except OnlySee + Healing is Difficult in M4A260, This is Acting in 24/96]
Sigur Rós - Discography (1997-2013)
Silla and Rose - Debut, Galactic Gala
Snoop Dogg - Doggystyle, The Doggfather, Tha Last Meal, R&G (Rhythm&Gangsta): The Masterpiece, The Blue Carpet Treatment
Snotty Nose Rez Kids - The Average Savage, Snotty Nose Rez Kids, Trapline, Born Deadly [EP]
Solange - A Seat at the Table
Southern Journey - Bad Man Ballads (Songs of Outlaws and Desperadoes, Vol. 5)
Stacey - Stacey, Stacey (Reconstruction), First Move
Stevie Wonder - The Definitive Collection
Straight Lines - Run for Cover
Stromae - Cheese, Racine carrée [24]
Sun Kil Moon - Discography (2003-2017)[320, except Benji + Common as Light and Love Are Red Valleys of Blood in 16]
Swollen Members - Bad Dreams
SWV - It's About Time
System of a Down - Discography (1998-2020)[16~24/96]
SZA - Ctrl
T.I. - Trouble Man Heavy is the Head
Tame Impala - Discography (2010-2020)[24/96~24/192]
Tamia - Tamia, "Stranger in My House"
Tanya Tagaq - Auk/Blood, Animism, Retribution, Toothsayer
Tasha the Amazon - Die Every Day, Black Moon
Taylor Swift - folklore [24]
Tech N9ne - Discography (1999-2013)[192~320, The Storm+Enterfear in 16]
TGT - Three Kings
The Beatles - Discography (1963-2009)
The Blaze - Territory, Dancehall
The Carters - Everything is Love
The Chronicles of Narnia OST
The Cinematic Orchestra [320] - Every Day, Man with a Movie Camera, Ma Fleur, To Believe
The Fingerbangerz - Vi-R-Us
The Game - The Documentary, Jesus Piece, Blood Moon: Year of the Wolf [320], The Documentary 2+2.5 [320]
The Godfather I+II+III OST [320]
The Great Gatsby - OST, The Orchestral Score, The Jazz Recordings
The Great Tenors - Vol.1+2, In Concert
The Hobbit OST (Special Editions) [24]
The Lion King - Complete Score [128], Return to Pride Rock [128]
The Lord of the Rings OST
The Lumineers - Cleopatra [24/96], C-Sides [24], Live Tracks [24], III [24]
The Notorious B.I.G. - Ready to Die, Life After Death [ALAC], Born Again
The Nutcracker (Ballet) [24/96]
The Piano Guys - The Piano Guys
The Pink Panther OST [320]
The Savannah Leigh Band - City of Grey
The Tango Project - The Tango Project
The Tenors - Discography (2008-2015)[156~254, except The Perfect Gift+Under One Sky in 16]
The Tony Rich Project - Words
The Weeknd - Discography (2012-2020)[16~24/192]
The xx - xx, Coexist, I See You
Three 6 Mafia - Most Known Unknown
Timbaland - Shock Value
Tinie Tempah - Demonstration [320]
Toni Braxton - Toni Braxton, Secrets
Tony Bennett - The Essential Tony Bennett, a wonderful world (with k.d. lang), The Absolutely Essential 3 CD Collection, Duets II [320], Tony Bennett Celebrates 90
Tory Lanez - Discography (2010-2020, except Daystar)[160~320, except I Told You in 16, Chixtape 5+The New Toronto 3 in 24]
T-Pain - Discography (2005-2012)[192~320, except Epiphany+Thr33 Ringz in 16]
Tracy Chapman - Tracy Chapman
Travis Garland - Discography (2011-2015)[160~320, except Travis Garland in 16]
Travis Scott - Discography (2013-2018)[16~24/88]
Trey Songz - Trey Day [320], Passion, Pain & Pleasure [320], Chapter V [320], Back Home [24]
TroyBoi - icekream [128~320], SoundSnobz [128~320], Left is Right [128], V!BEZ [128], V!BEZ, Vol.3, V!BEZ, Vol. 4 [16MQA], "Afterhours"
Tsar B - Discography (2016-2020)
Ty Dolla $ign - Featuring Ty Dolla $ign
Tyga - Discography (2008-2016)[320], Legendary
Tyrese - I Wanna Go There
UltraVillain [24] - "Break Out", Lost in You, I N V U
Ulvesang - Ulvesang [24], The Hunt
Unity: Athens 2004 (Olympic Games Album)
Usher - Discography (1994-2018)[16~24]
Van Morrison - Moondance
Vitas - Discography (2001-2009)[128~256, except A Kiss as Long as Eternity+20th Century Hits in 16]
Waka Flocka Flame - Flockaveli
Whitney - Light Upon the Lake
Whitney Houston - Whitney Houston
Wisin & Yandel - Discography (2000-2012)[320]
Wiz Khalifa - Cabin Fever, Rolling Papers, Cabin Fever 2, We Dem Boyz [320], Cabin Fever 3, various songs
Wiz Khalifa & Curren$y - 2009 [24]
Wyclef Jean - Carnival, Vol. II- Memoirs of an Immigrant
X Japan - Discoraphy (1988-2017)[16~24/96]
Xavier Rudd - Discography (2002-2018)
XXXTentacion - Revenge [320], 17 [24/192], ? [320]
Xzibit - Restless
Yann Tiersen - Discography (1995-2003)[96~160, except Amélie in 16], Portrait [24/96]
YG - My Krazy Life, Still Brazy, My Life 4Hunnid [24]
Young Bleed - My Balls and My Word
Young Buck - Buck the World
Young Thug - Barter 6 [320], Slime Season [24], Slime Season 2 [320], I'm Up [320], Slime Season 3 [320], Jeffery [320], So Much Fun
Yuki Kajiura - Discography (includes side projects: FictionJunction/YUUKA, Kalafina)(Anime soundtracks 1996-2018)
Yuna - Chapters
Zed Yun Pavarotti - French Cash
Zeina - Odd One Out, various singles

The Houston Astros: A Legacy of Misery

/r/QOTSA Official Band of the Week 33: STONE TEMPLE PILOTS

There is a concept called Carcinisation. It is convergent evolution. Crustacean-like creatures evolve into a crab-like form. What is fucking freaky is that this has happened in nature no less than five different times, separated by millions of years.
Nature. Wants. Crabs.
In the early 90’s, a brand new sound emerged out of the Pacific Northwest. Grunge exploded onto MTV and the airwaves and blew all the hair spray out of hair metal. 80’s synth pop just withered and died. Screaming Trees and Soundgarden and Nirvana and Alice in Chains all erupted onto the music scene. Grunge dominated.
Thing is, the same thing happened with another band AT THE SAME TIME in San Diego, California.
How could the Grunge sound be born elsewhere, without flannel? Without wallet chains? Without the Space Needle?
Simple: Nature. Wants. Crabs.
...and Grunge. Nature also wants Grunge.
Let’s listen to that Grunge band from San Diego. It is time to check out STONE TEMPLE PILOTS
About Them
Scott Weiland wanted drugs. Or he wanted to go to see a Black Flag concert in Long Beach, California.
Same thing, maybe.
That 1986 concert was a fateful one. Weiland might have been looking to score some pot or something, but he ended up meeting Robert DeLeo. Weiland and DeLeo hit it off immediately when they started talking about their respective girlfriend. Yes, girlfriend, not girlfriends. They quickly realized that they were dating the same woman.
Awkward.
Presumably, Weiland and DeLeo enjoyed the show. It was Black Flag, after all, with Henry Rollins on vocals. I’m willing to bet that the conversations that followed between DeLeo, Weiland and that young lady were somewhat pointed.
Long story short, the cheating ex-girlfriend moved to Texas, and Weiland and DeLeo moved into her San Diego apartment. They knew from the concert that they shared a taste in music (and, um, women...and I guess real estate) and so decided to form a band. DeLeo was already an accomplished bass player and songwriter, and Weiland was a good singer. But while his voice was unremarkable (compared, say, to Josh’s falsetto or Cornell’s incredible range), he had what can only be described as stage presence.
Like many famous front men, Weiland had an uncanny ability to command a crowd. Weiland shared in his autobiography that he was raped at the age of 12 by a man. It is likely that this traumatic experience pushed him towards a self-destructive lifestyle of - literally - sex, drugs and rock’n’roll. He was also diagnosed as being bipolar. So when he was on stage, Weiland would be eccentric and manic and often under the influence of substances. He did not care (or was unable to care) about what others thought of him, and that liberated him to sing, dance, act out, and hold everyone’s attention.
Crowds loved him.
Weiland initially had some friends, Corey Hicock and David Allin, join the band, which was then called Swing. Though Weiland knew both of them from childhood, it quickly became clear that they were not compatible with their vision for Swing. They recruited Eric Kretz to drum for them after seeing him play with another band at a club in Long Beach.
Kretz is one of those underrated drummers that consistently flies under the radar, not unlike our very own Jon Theodore. If you know them, you know how great they are - but most of the general public would never be able to name them, even if they recognized the band. Not only was Kretz rock steady behind the kit, he also co-wrote a number of the band’s hit songs.
The band, however, still needed a guitarist. They auditioned many different axemen but nobody quite fit. In frustration, DeLeo suggested his brother Dean. Dean DeLeo was five years older than Robert, and had started a career in business, and was just playing guitar for fun as a hobby. Younger brother Robert leaned into him. This was no small request he was making of Dean: give up the stable life and roll the dice for music. Dean eventually agreed, on one condition: there was no way he was going to play rock’n’roll for a band named Swing.
Weiland, Kretz, and the younger DeLeo agreed, and the band changed their name to Mighty Joe Young, after the title gorilla in the 1949 movie of the same name (the movie you are more likely to have seen is the Bill Paxton/Charlize Theron remake from 1998). Mighty Joe Young toured the club circuit in the San Diego area and recorded a demo tape in 1990. They even opened for Henry Rollins - the man who fronted Black Flag at that fateful 1986 concert - at a show at the world famous Whisky a Go Go club in Hollywood.
As they were on the verge of breaking through, they hit a major snag: it turned out that Mighty Joe Young was not just a fictional gorilla from the ‘40s. There was a blues musician by the same name.
So ~~Swing~~ ~~Mighty Joe Young~~ the band, having built up a fanbase, had to change names.
Where did they find inspiration? At the local garage.
There is something about the initials STP. They just kind of roll off the tongue. Lots of people have used them, to the point that there is a Wikipedia disambiguation page for their use. But where most of us may know them is from seeing them on the wall of the high school auto shop or at the local mechanic’s place. Almost everyone recognizes that iconic logo. In case you are wondering, STP actually stands for Scientifically Treated Petroleum, and is German in origin, dating back to WWII.
So yeah, just like the Volkswagen Beetle and the atomic bomb, this iconic bit of Americana has its origins with the Nazis.
Awkward.
The STP Motor Oil sticker was the inspiration for their name. They tried to come up with monikers that fit those initials: Shirley Temple’s Pussy and Stereo Temple Pirates were bounced around until the band settled on the name we all know today. Weiland was the one who decided on Stone Temple Pilots. There was no real meaning behind the name; he just liked the initials STP.
Building on that Mighty Joe Young fanbase, the newly christened Stone Temple Pilots released one of the best debut albums in rock’n’roll history. Just like Alice in Chains and Melvins and Soundgarden and Nirvana, they were inspired by the angry rebelliousness of Punk and the heavy, driving down tuned riffage of metal. What emerged was Grunge...in Southern California.
The album Core was conceived as just that - an album, to be listened to from start to finish. It incorporated many songs from their demo tape and is a true musical journey. The album was recorded in five short weeks, and it is a great place to start if you have not listened to the band. Robert DeLeo wrote most of the songs on the album.
Core dropped in 1992, just as Grunge got huge. Four singles were released - Sex Type Thing, Wicked Garden, Creep, and Plush. You will likely still hear Plush on regular rock radio from time to time. This was a massive debut that got them huge gigs and appearances at festivals. It remains a landmark album of the Grunge movement and was rated #11 by Rolling Stone in the top 50 Grunge albums of all time. However, it also drew scathing criticism from reviewers, who pegged it as a rip-off of the Seattle sound.
Clearly, those critics have never heard of carcinization (or the demo tape which proved that STP had found their sound on their own).
Weiland and co. followed up Core with another monster album in 1994. Purple was recorded in under a month and one song off of it, Big Empty, was in the Brandon Lee film The Crow. You know you’ve made it as a band when your music forms part of a major film soundtrack. Meatplow, the record’s opener, was a showstopper when played live and Vasoline became a true international hit. Interstate Love Song, the third single from Purple, was also hugely popular and is their most listened to song on Spotify today with over 181 million plays. Interestingly, the title of the album is in Chinese on the cover and nowhere else on the record.
STP could do no wrong. And along with this unprecedented success, Scott Weiland discovered that he could do ALL the drugs.
The follow up album, Tiny Music...Songs from the Vatican Gift Shop began with two weeks of recording in early 1995. However, this project was put on an abrupt hold as Weiland was arrested for possession of heroin and cocaine and was sentenced to one year of probation. I mean, booze and pot on the weekend is recreational...but heroin and coke is a whole other level of drug use.
The band took a break until the fall, with Kretz and the DeLeo brothers starting a side project called Talk Show. As Robert DeLeo was the main songwriter for both bands, what followed when the band got back together was a weird sorting project where they just arbitrarily decided which tunes would be STP and which would be Talk Show.
Perhaps because of the band growing musically, or the extended time apart from Weiland and his growing drug habit, STP saw their sound evolve. It was more post-Grunge than Grunge, with elements of Punk and Glam Rock. Weiland was for sure his own front man, but there were elements of Rollins’ angry confrontation and Bowie’s star child in his performances, all mixed into something new.
Tiny Music...Songs from the Vatican Gift Shop was a massive album and spawned three number one singles for the band: Big Bang Baby, Trippin’ on a Hole in a Paper Heart, and Lady Picture Show. The band went out and toured in support, but Weiland relapsed and his drug use got worse. This time, STP were forced to cancel the rest of their tour so Weiland could go into rehab.
Incidentally, I have actually been to the Vatican Gift Shop in St. Peter’s Square in Rome, and found a depressing lack of STP there.
Tiny Music may have been a departure from their heavy Grunge sound, but their next album - No. 4 - was a return to their heavy Grunge roots. The title was a subtle tribute to the Black Sabbath album Vol. 4. It was released in 1999. The song Down has one of the dirtiest, heaviest riffs in Grunge, and was nominated for a Grammy award. But it was Sour Girl - a song about Weiland’s costly divorce - that was an even bigger hit. The video featured Sarah Michelle Gellar of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame. Weiland was credited along with Robert DeLeo as writing most of the songs. A tour followed and Weiland managed to hold things together - or avoid getting caught by the police.
Shangri-La Dee Da, their fifth album, came out in 2001.
This album is a mess.
Conceptually, it began as a tribute to Andrew Wood - the man who was once Chris Cornell’s roommate, the man who inspired Temple of the Dog, and the man who fronted Mother Love Bone and Malfunkshun. The record label, however, vetoed that idea. The album quickly became directionless and bloated, and this was made even more of a mess by the fact that the band had arranged for a behind-the-scenes documentary to be made. Days of the Week was a modest hit for them and Hollywood Bitch was a live go-to for the band, but the album is largely forgettable and missing a spark.
It was like the band had run out of gas. Or lubricant. Or Scientifically Treated Petroleum.
Blame it on the pressure, or Weiland’s drug use, or just growing stale - but the band had lost something and needed a change.
So they broke up in 2003.
Weiland was quickly recruited to join the supergroup Velvet Revolver, which arose out of the ashes of Guns ‘n’ Roses. They dropped two successful albums and toured around the globe. Perhaps the coolest thing about Velvet Revolver was that they played their own stuff, they played G’n’R, and they played a ton of STP at their live shows. Weiland had supplanted one band with another, and was his manic self on stage each night.
The brothers DeLeo had their own side project, Army of Anyone. Kretz opened a music studio and drummed for the band Spiralarms.
It seemed to all the world that STP was gone for good.
But Velvet Revolver imploded, because Weiland again got mixed up with heroin. He quit the band before he could be fired, and that simply spelled the end of that supergroup. Army of Anyone never really took off, and Kretz’s studio, while a modest success, was not his real passion.
They reunited in 2008 to ~~cash in on the sweet nostalgia~~ do a 65-day tour of North America. Somewhere, somehow, Weiland got his addictions under better control and gelled again with his old band.
The spark was back.
They returned to the studio and recorded their sixth album, a self-titled record. Stone Temple Pilots was produced by the DeLeo brothers and recorded in part at Eric Kretz’s studio. Compared to their other records, which were completed and mastered in a matter of weeks, this album took over 10 months to produce. What resulted from that work was a very different STP album, more inspired by 70’s rock and country music.
Fans bought the album upon release, happy with new music. But it was a record that confused the listeners. Those that wanted a return to Grunge didn’t get it; those that wanted more of the glam punk were disappointed.
Either way, there was a tour, and anyone who missed them last time was just happy that they could see them live again.
But this tour was the last one with Weiland. His behavior became increasingly erratic (who knew coke and heroin could make you erratic? ). He did a radio interview where he stated that he would be happy to rejoin Velvet Revolver...while he was on tour with STP. He dove nose first into the Coke and dropped the needle with heroin again. Concerts suffered. Tensions built. By early 2013, the band could not take it anymore.
Weiland was fired.
He was quickly replaced by Chester Bennington of Linkin Park fame. Bennington toured with STP for two years,and even dropped an EP with them called High Rise. Weiland was pissed and sued the band, and they counter sued him. Things got to Van Halen level bullshittery pretty quickly. Meanwhile, Bennington - the Sammy Hagar in this tale - did a great job on vocals and was embraced by fans. Weiland went full David Lee Roth and founded his own band, with blackjack and hookers.
Both experiments ended in late 2015 - one amicably, one tragically.
Bennington decided in November of that year that he wanted to return to Linkin Park, and thanked STP. He left them on good terms and with no hard feelings.
Weiland, on the other hand, was touring with his own band, The Wildabouts. His 2013 tour was called Purple at the Core. Real subtle there, Scotty. To be fair, he had released some solo stuff too and had recorded an album, Blaster, with The Wildabouts that was released in March of 2015.
While on tour with The Wildabouts, Weiland was found dead in his tour bus. The date was December 3rd, 2015. The coroner’s report stated that the cause of death was an accidental drug overdose of a mixture of alcohol, cocaine, and MDA. A contributing factor was his prolonged substance abuse.
Weiland was 48.
The rock world was stunned. Not that Weiland was using drugs, but that his drug use had caught up with him. He had seemed invincible. He was widely mourned and missed.
STP found themselves without Bennington and no longer had even the opportunity to consider a reunion with Weiland. They, too, were stunned by the news of his death.
After a proper period of mourning, the band made the decision to carry on as a group. A search for a new front man ensued. There was a series of auditions and in 2017, a replacement was found: former X-Factor contestant Jeff Gutt.
The dude is almost a dead ringer for Weiland, and his vocal stylings are eerily similar. Together, Gutt and STP have dropped a second Self-Titled album in 2018 and their latest release, Perdida, in 2020.
STP are still alive as a band, even if they are now on their third vocalist. Though Weiland has tragically left us, I highly encourage you to see them live if you ever get the chance.
Links to QOTSA
QotSA was one of Scott Weiland’s favorite bands. To quote him:
"I did see Kyuss one time when we got asked to open up for Ministry. They were on the bill. Queens' Songs for the Deaf is my favorite album, with the very first song which starts out with the radio on the background ['You Think I Ain't Worth a Dollar, But I Feel Like a Millionaire']. That's one of my favorites by far. That's just pure adrenaline. And then 'No One Knows,' 'Go with the Flow,' those are obvious songs that stand out as some of the best they've ever written. I also think it's so cool that Dave Grohl played drums on that record. It's ethereal at times, but it's also at times just really barebones and dry and just in your face."
Clearly, Weiland thought that the 2002 line up was peak QotSA. And well, he’s not wrong.
Weiland also did a side project in the late 1990’s called The Wondergirls with our resident vampire, Troy Van Leeuwen. Here’s a track by them called Massive Heart Attack.
Joey Castillo, former drummer for QotSA, was briefly the drummer for Weiland’s band The Wildabouts in 2015.
Their Music
Sex Type Thing - I wonder what he’s talking about.
Sex Type Thing - live version, complete with bird noises and a Queen Bitch hat.
Plush - Weiland’s hair cut + hair colour in this video is giving me some Ginger elvis vibes. Clearly, that’s the peak style of rock and roll.
Dead and Bloated - Live in 1993
Creep - I want you to notice, when I’m not aroun- wait. Shit, wrong write up.
Big Empty - From The Crow soundtrack, with movie clips.
Vasoline
Interstate Love Song - You evil little worm. GET OUT!
Big Bang Baby - I am pretty sure this video was shot on VHS by someone’s uncle. The drugs kick in at 1:45. Also, the gorilla heads are a Mighty Joe Young shout out.
Trippin’ on a Hole in a Paper Heart - Also starts with a gorilla head. Not a coincidence.
Lady Picture Show - A Girl Revue.
Down - This has to be one of the sickest riffs of the Grunge era.
Sour Girl - The Teletubbies took some ‘ludes. Also, Buffy.
Days of the Week - Travelling salesmen? Astronauts? Space band? 2001 with more drugs? You decide!
Hollywood Bitch - You’re on the outside, looking in.
Revolution - A Grungy cover of the Beatles classic.
Between the Lines - You always were my favorite drug, even when we used to take drugs. “Used to”. Ok.
Take a Load Off - An official video that looks fan made.
Meadow - When you see Jeff Gutt in this video you might think you are looking at Scott Weiland. There is another crab metaphor here somewhere.
Fare Thee Well - From their latest album, Perdida.
Six Eight Off of the 2018 Self Titled, with an accurate title.
Show Them Some Love
/stonetemplepilots - Just 1,500 members. 1,500? Scott took more drugs than that on any given weekend.
Previous Posts
Band of the Week #1-25
The Jimi Hendrix Experience
Black Flag
Alain Johannes
Pixies
Truckfighters
Melvins
Muse

Looking Back at the Last Decade of Baseball: The 2020s in Review (part 1 of 2)

The last decade of baseball sure has been fun, hasn’t it? We’ve had thrills, we’ve had chills, we’ve had spills, . But a decade is a long time, and much has been forgotten: So let’s look back on the 2020s, and all the things that happened in it! We begin in...

2021

January: Hype builds around the top free agent of the season, Trevor Bauer. After announcing that he will not accept any deals that do not have leading numbers of either 69 or 420, front offices scramble to free up the necessary budget space.
February: As players arrive at spring training, there is an astounding amount of hype surrounding the young superstar Vladimir Guerrero Jr., who is reported by multiple news outlets as being in, ‘the worst shape of his life’.
March: After four intense months of free agent negotiations, Trevor Bauer announces he plans to take a gap year to explore his possible options in life.
On Opening Day, Byron Buxton runs full-tilt into the outfield wall while trying to track down a Jorge Soler home run. He breaks three wrists and is out for the remainder of the season, sparing Twins fans the disappointment of seeing him waste his batting potential.
April: Mike Fiers, sick of being snubbed by front offices due to his role in blowing the whistle on the Astros sign stealing scandal, writes a tell-all where he claims he was the brains behind the whole operation. Eight different MLB clubs and Bill Belicheck immediately send him a contract offer.
May: Mark Reynolds announces his retirement on the grounds of being completely blind. He is promptly offered a lucrative contract by the umpire’s union.
June: On June 12, highly touted prospect Seth Beer makes his major league debut with the Arizona Diamondbacks. He uses ‘Beer’ by Reel Big Fish as his walkup song, and is immediately banned from baseball for life for reminding people that ska existed.
July: Fernando Tatis Jr. again ignites controversy from the media and from former players after being intentionally walked when his team is up by ten. “That is a disgusting act by Fernando Tatis Jr. and it's unfortunate that we had that on our air live”, says Joe Buck, calling the game for FOX, “That is disgusting by Tatis”.
Toronto continues their long-standing tradition of signing prospects who were born of somebody who screwed someone who used to be a good major league player by bringing A.J. Burnett Jr. into their minor league system.
August: Hawk Harrelson returns to broadcast a single game for the White Sox. Chicago gives up ten runs in the first, and Hawk remains completely silent for the last eight innings.
After years of controversy, the Cleveland Indians finally announce their rebrand. Their announcement states, “We waited far too long to get rid of Chief Wahoo. We’re not going to be late to the party for the next step. With Washington rebranding, it’s time to strike while the iron is hot. We recognize that there will likely be uproar, but history will vindicate us. From now on, the team will be known as the Ohio Indians”.
September: The MLB marketing team goes into overdrive and announces the creation of MLBFilms, a movie company developing films starring MLB players to try to increase their public image.
October: The Mariners put the final touches on a blessed season by mounting a five-run comeback against the Angels in the bottom of the ninth inning of game 162. Kyle Seager hits a walk-off grand slam to cap it off. They finish 73-89.
November: With the close of the 2021 season, the collective bargaining agreement between the MLB and the Player’s Union ends. For the sake of everyone’s sanity, both sides agree to ignore this.
After further investigation into the Astros sign stealing scandal, the Comissioners’s Office announces new sanctions: Cleveland State will receive the ‘death penalty’.
December: The Rockies broadcast team welcomes Matt Holliday as their new color commentator. The longtime Colorado player joins Drew Goodman, Ryan Spilbroughs, and Jeff Huson in the booth.
A.J Pierzynski receives two votes for the Hall of Fame and immediately demands a recount.

2022

January: Tim Lincecum, long time Giants fan favorite, announces his intent to come back to baseball. ‘I’ve been out of this game too long. I wasn’t sure if the fans and the team would accept me after all this time, but the support I’ve received has been incredible. When this position as a bat boy opened up, I knew it was made for me”. He will face stiff competition from a number of eight year olds to fill the position
MLBFilms announces their first movie: a four hour long, Scorsese-directed gender swapped version of A League of Their Own. It stars Mike Trout, Bryce Harper, Giancarlo Stanton, and Mo’ne Davis. It will be cinema.
February: The Blue Jays show some concern as Vladimir Guerrero Jr seems to have gained more weight during the offseason, ballooning up to 300 pounds, and requesting a position change to designated hitter.
March: Tragedy strikes Tampa Bay as Tropicana Field is mistaken for an abandoned shopping mall and torn down by a demolitions company. The goof isn’t noticed for almost a week until a group of Yankees fans arrives to buy tickets.
April: Trevor Bauer finally decides to sign with someone, and signs a $69 million, 4.20 year deal with the White Sox for the express purpose of trying to get suspended by Tony La Russa.
May: The Rays announce they are rebuilding Tropicana Field exactly as it was, brick-for-brick. They put out a call for any Yankees fans who might have attended the stadium in the last few years to send pictures to work off of, as the original plans for the Trop were traded to the Mariners for cash considerations years ago.
Nelson Cruz invites controversy after choosing the 17 minute version of ‘In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida’ as his walkup song, and not stepping into the box until the entire song is finished. He manages to avoid getting plunked by pitchers until he starts doing air-guitars with the bat and drumming the solo on home plate.
June: The MLB marketing team jumps back into action by putting pictures of Spiderman on the bases, presumably on direct order from J. Jonah Jameson. This is immediately met with massive backlash from every human being on earth, including Spiderman himself. Bud Selig counters, “Suck it up, buttercup.” This is a real thing that happened.
The Braves pay Bruce Sutter ten million dollars and thank their lucky stars that Bobby Bonilla gets all the press.
July: The umpire’s union receives serious backlash after Ron Kulpa blows a ball-strike ball on a David Price perfect game in progress, causing him to walk Nick Castellanos with two outs in the first inning.
Joe Buck broadcasts the entire Home Run Derby solo, saying, ‘And we will see you tomorrow night’ in a straight, monotone voice for every single home run; gradually increasing in volume until he yells at the top of his lungs continually during the final round. It receives the highest ever ratings for any television event ever. Jo Adell wins with three total home runs.
On July 21st, in a game against the Diamondbacks, Kenley Jansen intentionally balks to move a runner from second to third. Sensing unwritten rules being broken, Brian McCann punches his way out of his grave beneath the mound and hits Jansen with a DDT, killing him instantly.
August: Tony La Russa publicly announces he is moving on to a more sabermetric way of managing, and moves his center fielder out of the first spot in the batting order. “Perhaps, depending on how this goes, I may even move the catcher out of the ninth spot in the order.”
September: As their season ends, the Ohio Indians announce another name change, citing how large the backlash was and how offensive they learned their name was to the millions of people who were not acclimatized to it. They are now known as the Lake Erie Indians.
October: The Marlins, after years of careful management by Derek Jeter, sweep the National League playoffs on their way to a World Series victory over the Athletics in six games. Immediately after hoisting the trophy, the entire front office is sold off to other franchises to save salary room.
After the World Series, Bud Selig officially announces his retirement as MLB commissioner. “After thirty years in this position, it’s time for me to move on. I am grateful to the owners throughout Major League Baseball for their unwavering support and for allowing me to lead this great institution. I thank our players, who give me unlimited enthusiasm about the future of our game. Together we have taken this sport to new heights and have positioned our national pastime to thrive for generations to come. Most of all, I would like to thank our fans, who are the heart and soul of our game.” Tony Clark is thought to be next in line for the position.
November: Bill James publishes his new book, The Measure of a Man, where he has an exact formula worked out for the value of individual human lives. Mike Trout is worth exactly $290,322,784.32. You are worth twelve cents.
December: The Winter Meetings begin with a bang as the Mariners announce they are trading Kyle Lewis for ten of the Yankees’ wins next year. DiPoto says, “They probably won’t need them, and although we aren’t going to get enough to win the whole shebang, we might be able to get the 15 percent share to get an invite to the debates. With that kind of media coverage, who knows where we can go?”

2023

January: The Nationals announce that Mike Rizzo is stepping down as President of Baseball Operations, but not before giving himself ‘a full and legal pardon for all crimes he may or may not have committed while in his position, and for all the crimes he may or may not commit in the future.’
The Athletic releases a shocking exposé showing that Tim Wakefield’s ‘rolling contract’ on the Red Sox will actually never expire due to a legal technicality. The Red Sox owe him $4 million, every year, until the heat death of the universe.
February: The MLB marketing team puts pictures of Mike Trout on milk cartons, with the caption, ‘Have You Seen This Kiiiiiiiid?’. The only result is the occasional call to the missing persons hotline whenever somebody accidentally tunes into an Angels game.
Vladimir Guerrero Jr. arrives at spring training announcing that he feels lighter and faster than ever, due to his fat folds being held up by repulsorlifts like Baron Vladimir Harkonnen in Dune.
March: Disaster strikes the Oakland Coliseum as the Wave takes hold of the stadium on opening day. Thousands of people die either of exhaustion or starvation. The governor attempts to declare a disaster zone, but finds out that legally, the entirety of Oakland has been a disaster for the last thirty years.
April: Nothing happened this month.
May: The Boston Red Sox are caught up in yet another cheating scandal, where the Blue Jays allege that Tom Brady, somehow, managed to deflate their baseballs before a key playoff game in 2022.
Byron Buxton runs headfirst into a Mack truck that was accidentally left parked in Target Field’s outfield by the ground crew. He loses eight ribs from the resulting surgery and is out for 6-8 weeks.
Robbie Cano is banned from the MLB for life after testing positive for shooting up black tar heroin into his eyeball.
June: Matt Holliday is suspended from his broadcast job after claims that, in the past, he had ‘inappropriately touched’ home plate during his Rockies career.
Tom Brady is ambushed at his house by Brian McCann and tombstoned directly into the driveway, killing him instantly. There are no witnesses.
July: Fernando Tatis Jr. is suspended by the Padres without pay for a week after being hit by a pitch with the bases loaded while up by twelve over the Dodgers. John Smoltz condemns his repulsive behavior by running up the score. Lynch mobs assemble outside Petco Park.
Billy Hamilton wins the Home Run Derby after discovering that inside the park home runs are not technically banned. He racks up 783 home runs in the first round alone before the kids playing the outfield figure out what’s going on.
August: Matt Holliday is cleared and reinstated to his job after no evidence was found of him actually touching home plate. In a public statement, he thanks the Padres for their longtime support and their hard work to clear his name in this matter.
During a Braves-Marlins game, the disembodied head of Joe Buck appears on the Fox Sports South broadcast on all cameras and stares wistfully into the camera for twenty-two seconds before bleeding from the eyes and fading away. Buck declines to comment on the matter.
September: Jose Canseco announces in a tweet that, if he is not elected to the Hall of Fame by the Veteran’s Committee immediately, he will not intervene to save us all from the upcoming singularity robot apocalypse.
October: In the Wild Card game against the Blue Jays, the Astros again invite controversy by calling the other team’s bullpen phone constantly and telling Ken Giles to stop warming up; twenty-seven times in the eighth inning alone. With Toronto unable to use their bullpen, Russell Martin comes in for the save situation and gives up seventeen runs. Charlie Montoyo attempts to protest the game, but the Astros yell so loud at the umpires that they can’t hear what he’s saying.
Pete Rose reveals that he was behind the 1978 Boston College point shaving scandal, and boy, did he make a ton of money from that. He is immediately banned for life from the Basketball Hall of Fame.
November: Both the American and National leagues award their MVP award to Albert Belle despite him being out of the league for twenty years, as he certainly did not deserve to lose to Mo Vaughn in 1995. Pedro Martinez finishes a close second.
Albert Pujols’ home run against Brad Lidge finally lands, killing millions on impact.
December: At the Winter Meetings, Brett Favre formally announces his retirement from the NFL.
The Yankees flex their checks and sign one of the best pitchers ever to have played the game for 15yrs/450million: Christopher Robin from Winnie The Pooh Home Run Derby.

2024

January: In an explosive piece of investigative journalism, The Athletic discovers that Joe Buck has ties to Russia. Buck categorically denied the allegations in a press statement, adding, ‘And we will see you tomorrow night. In court.’
Jose Canseco is unanimously elected to the Hall of Fame.
February: Vladimir Guerrero Jr arrives at spring training by oozing through the windows of the practice facility and reforming himself into a man-like form in the hallways. He moves to the outfield, as he now covers enough ground that the ball will never hit the turf.
March: MLB The Show 2024 releases to rave reviews from critics, despite being the exact same game as MLB the Show 2023 and MLB the Show 2022. It is voted the best sports game of the year for the simple fact that they did not remove features from last year’s game.
On opening day, Dusty Baker announces to the umpires that he will be playing the entire season under protest. He gives no explanation.
April: Spencer Torkelson makes his MLB debut for the Tigers, lasting an entire at-bat before the umpires pull him from the game and send him back to the 1890s where his name belongs.
The Yankees announce that they are moving away from the pinstripe uniforms which have dominated their style since the early days of the club, and are switching to more iconic and beloved uniforms - the 1970s Houston Astros rainbow jerseys, effective immediately. Yankees fans strenuously object because it’s harder to look like assholes when wearing bright, happy colors.
May: Aroldis Chapman mirrors Randy Johnson when, during a save opportunity at Yankee Stadium, he brings down a low-flying single engine plane with a pitch, killing the pilot. This becomes the second-worst plane accident involving a Yankees pitcher in New York in the last twenty years.. [Editor’s note: This is not a 9/11 joke. That would be incredibly distasteful and disrespectful to the thousands of Americans that died on that day. This is a joke about Corey Lidle, whose death is slightly more socially acceptable to make light of.]
June: Scientists working with the New York Yankees announce new developments in doing The Wave, led by observations at Yankee Stadium. This new version of The Wave, endorsed by Yankees fans around the world, will be done only with the middle finger.
July: MLBFilms announce their next release - a collaboration with Warner Bros: Scooby-Doo! Batter Up!, where the Scooby gang meets Bryce Harper and the Phillies and have to defeat a ghost that possessed the Philly Phanatic and locked the team inside Citizens Bank Park. The city of Philadelphia defeats the ghost by throwing batteries at it, and it’s revealed to have been Gritty all along. This is not a joke.
For the fifteenth and final time, the Reds pay Ken Griffey Jr. 3.6 million dollars, ending his deferred contract. The Reds front office once again thanks the Mets for being such boneheads that nobody cares that other teams have far, far worse deferred contracts than they do. Although none of the other ones had to do with Bernie Madoff.
August: The Blue Jays announce that they are negotiating with LeBron James, Jr for a minor league deal.
Brett Gardner tests positive for having a giant fucking head and is suspended by the MLB for 80 games. He appeals on grounds of the test possibly being a false positive, and the possibility that vitamins he took were contaminated, and that, as a sovereign citizen, the MLB has no right to test him. He also tests positive for eleven different steroids, which he does not contest.
September: Tony La Russa announces his retirement at the end of the season, citing his early stages of dementia. This confirms the rumors that spread around the league after La Russa wandered off in the middle of a game to find the nearest Cracker Barrel.
October: Fernando Tatis Jr. disrespects the game of baseball by arriving at Petco for a game after the Padres have clinched the top seed in the playoffs. Brain McCann materializes out of the aether and hits Tatis with an elbow off the top ropes, killing him instantly.
The MLB announces a new broadcast format for the World Series, where Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy will sit silhouetted in front of a screen with the official Joe Buck/Tim McCarver broadcast and heckle them constantly, MST3k style. It is cancelled after one game after complaints from Joe Buck’s mother.
November: Radical sabermetricians make the news by making threats against the MLB, warning that unless announcers actually learn how WAR and FIP work, ‘there will be consequences’. Commissioner Tony Clark gives a strong speech, responding that the MLB ‘does not negotiate with terrorists. We don’t even negotiate with the MLBPA most of the time’’.
December: The Red Sox trade Tim Wakefield’s rolling contract to the Mariners in exchange for the Mariners’ franchise history and the cutout of a baseball player that sits outside a Lowe’s in Seattle.

2025

January: The St. Louis Cardinals accidentally delete their Excel 95 spreadsheet listing their minor league prospects. It’s estimated that up to 200 ballplayers were lost, and though scouts managed to retrieve some of them, a large number still cannot be accounted for.
February: Vladimir Guerrero Jr. announces his retirement from baseball to star in an MLBFilms remake of ‘The Blob’.
March: The MLB floats the idea of having a ‘three batter minimum’ for pitchers, so that teams won’t continually switch pitchers to gain a handedness advantage. This is laughed at by everyone, so they forget about it. The idea never comes up again.
April: In an otherwise routine game at Target Field, Byron Buxton is tracking down a routine pop fly when he suddenly runs headlong into the evidence that Pete Rose bet against the Reds, shattering every bone in his body and eight in Max Kepler’s.
May: The Mets broadcast leaves a live mic on Zach Greinke, which picks up what he’s constantly mumbling about while on the mound. A transcript: “Dog carcass in alley this morning. Tire tread on burst stomach. The city is afraid [strikes out Tim Anderson] of me. I have seen it's true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over all the [induces a Chad Wallach pop-up] vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "save us!"... and I'll look down from the mound and [retires Derek Dietrich on three pitches] whisper "no"”
June: June 28, 2025. A date which will live in infamy. Everyone remembers where they were on that day. The pictures are burned into the brain of every man, woman, and child watching the All-Star game.
The black helicopter landing in center field.
The masked figures kicking a bound and gagged David Eckstein out of the door.
Their speech through the loudspeaker system, calling for the deaths of all those who stood in the way of progress. You all know what followed.
When that helicopter took off, leaving a four foot eight corpse on the field, the relationship between baseball and statistics was changed forever. SABR was declared a terrorist organization, and although Bill James denied any involvement and denounced the perpetrators, he would never be looked at the same. The FBI tracks him for the rest of his life.
July: C.C. Sabathia, Brian McCann, and the corpse of David Eckstein are inducted into the Hall of Fame. During his speech, Sabathia briefly mentions breaking the unwritten rules of baseball, and Brian McCann hits him with a steel chair, killing him instantly.
A huge remembrance of David Eckstein’s life takes place among the media.
“How can a man weighing 45 pounds and only two and a half feet tall make such an impression on the hearts of man? Not everyone has the grit, the determination, the grit, the dirtiness, the courage, the grit, or the grit to win in the MLB, but that’s only because Eckstein took the grit from all those people to use himself.”
“We all remember Eckstein single-handedly dragging the Cardinals to a World Series victory, but it’s easy to overlook his other work, and not just because he was so short. This was a man whose bodily fluids were filled with lunch pails.”
August: SABR’s hitlist is leaked by government agencies. It includes the two bozos who left Pedro Martinez off the MVP ballot, 90’s Joe Carter, John Smoltz, and everyone who ever wrote an article about David Eckstein, ‘to wipe clean the scum of the earth’. All of these people are immediately placed under police protection except John Smoltz, who refused it as he never believed in sabermetrics anyway.
September: A source inside the MLB suggests that they should have been more prepared for a terrorist attack, saying, “These guys are literally named SABR - could they have more of a Bond villain secret organization name? And look at their mission statement: ‘we seek the deaths of those who would desecrate our great national pastime, and those who refuse to understand it.’ - shouldn’t that have turned some heads? I believe that the MLB intentionally ignored this threat so they could go to war with SABR and then seize their oil”. Tony Clark refuses comment.
Tony La Russa announces his retirement from baseball at the end of the season.
October: After a long and storied career, Albert Pujols announces his retirement and immediately ages 150 years to return to his true age like Donovan at the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Both dugouts rush his desiccated body to claim the bones as good luck charms.
November: David Eckstein is posthumously inducted into the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame as an honorary member of the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band.
The NAACP makes headlines when they release their list of Greatest Baseball Players of All Time, due to Jose Bautista taking the #1 spot over from Jackie Robinson. They justify it by saying ‘Jose Bautista is the Harriet Tubman of his times”.
December: After missing the playoffs for the tenth straight year, the Philadelphia Phillies trade Bryce Harper to the New York Yankees for a sack of potatoes.
Part 2: 2026-2030

So You Want To Start A Nation

Tartaria: The Supposed Mega-Empire of Inner Eurasia

Introduction

For those not in the know, the Tartaria conspiracy theory is one of the most bizarre pieces of pseudo history out there. Its core notion is that the region known as ‘Tartaria’ or ‘Grand Tartary’ in Early Modern European maps was not simply a vague geographical designate, but in fact a vast, centralised empire. Said empire emerged… at some point, and it disappeared… at some point, but for… some reason, its existence has been covered up to suit… some narrative or another. As you can tell, there’s a lot of diverse ideas here, and the fact that there hasn’t been the equivalent of a Christological schism every time a controversial thread goes up is really quite impressive. While this post will primarily address one particular piece of writing that is at the core of Tartaria conspiracy theorising, I’ll include a few tidbits to show you just how much madness its adherents have come up with. But first, some background.

State of Play, and why I’m doing this

The Tartaria theory has a small but active following on subreddits such as Tartaria, tartarianarchitecture, and CulturalLayer, which as of writing have around 5,300, 2,400 and 23,000 subscribers, respectively, but it’s clear from the 8 questions on the topic asked at AskHistorians since January 2019 and this debunk request from June that it’s a theory that has somewhat broad appeal and can reach beyond its core niche. This is unsurprising given how little education most people in the West receive about basically anything east of Greece: simply put, the reality of Eurasian history is just not something most of us are taught. And if we don’t know the reality of Eurasian history to begin with, or if we do then it's all in bits and pieces where we might not even know a basic set of dates and names, then what seems to be a pretty developed narrative about a lost empire actually turns out rather plausible.
Unfortunately, many debunks of the Tartaria narrative come from people pushing competing conspiracy theories, like this guy claiming that there’s a global ~~Jewish~~ Phoenecian conspiracy and that Tartaria is simply rehashing the notion that Khazars were Jews in order to distract from the real Phoenecian threat at the heart of global society or some nonsense like that. (I don’t really care, I died of laughter after page 3.) Now, there are those coming from serious perspectives, but they focus largely on the problems with Tartaria as a concept rather than addressing the more specific claims being made. This is of course valuable in its own right (shoutout to Kochevnik81 for their responses to the AskHistorians threads), but we can go deeper by really striking at the roots of this ‘theory’ – what is the ‘evidence’ they’re presenting? But to do that, we need to find out what the origins of the ‘theory' are, and thus what its linchpins are. Incidentally, it is because of some recent events regarding those origins that I’ve been finally prompted to write this post.

Where does it come from?

My attempts to find the exact origins of the Tartaria conspiracy have been not entirely fruitful, as the connections I’ve found have been relatively circumstantial at best. But as far as I can tell, it at least partially originates with that Russian pseudohistorian we all know and love, Anatoly Fomenko. Fomenko is perhaps best known in the English-speaking world for his 7-volume ‘epic’ from 2002, History: Fiction or Science?, but in fact he’s been pushing a complete ‘New Chronology’ since the publication of Novaia khronologia in Russian in 1995. While the New Chronology is best known for its attempt to explain away most of the Middle Ages as a hoax created by the Papacy on the basis of bad astronomy, it also asserts a number of things about Russian history from the Kievan Rus’ to the Romanovs. Key to the Tartaria theory is its claim that there was a vast Slavo-Turkic ‘Russian Horde’ based out of ‘Tartaria’ which dominated Eurasia until the last ‘Horde’ ruler, Boris Godunov, was overthrown by the European Mikhail Romanov. This, of course, is a clear attempt at countering the notion of a ‘Tatar Yoke’ over Russia, as you can’t have a ‘Tatar Yoke’ if the Tatars were Russians all along. Much as I’d like to explain that in more detail here, I don’t have to: in 2004, Konstantin Sheiko at the University of Wollongong wrote an entire PhD thesis looking at the claims of Fomenko’s New Chronology and contextualising them within currents of Russian nationalism, which can be accessed online.
But I personally suspect that if there are Fomenko connections as far as Tartaria specifically is concerned, they are limited. For one, at one stage users on the Tartaria subreddit seemed unfamiliar with Fomenko, and there are those arguing that Fomenko had ‘rewritten’ Tartarian history to be pro-Russian. This is why I said that the evidence was circumstantial. The only other link to Fomenko is indirect: the CulturalLayer sidebar lists the ‘New Chronology Resource Collection’ and the audiobook of History: Fiction or Science? under ‘Essential Resources’, and Tartaria in its ‘Related Subs’.
As far as I can tell, the ultimate origin of its developed form on the Anglophone web traces back to this post on the StolenHistory forums, posted on 17 April 2018. This makes some chronological sense: only one top-level post on CulturalLayer that mentions Tartaria predates this. Moreover, KorbenDallas, the OP of the thread, was also the forum’s chief admin, and given that StolenHistory is still (as of writing) the top resource on CulturalLayer’s sidebar, that suggests significant influence. However, using the search function on camas.github.io, it was mentioned in comments at least 9 times before then, with the first mention, on 10 January 2018, mentioning that the ‘theory’ had been doing the rounds on the Russian web for at least 5 years. Nevertheless, as the detail in these early comments is sparse and generally refers only to speculation about maps, it is probably fair to say that the first in-depth English-language formulation of the Tartaria ‘theory’ was thus the April 2018 forum post. Funnily enough, it is not cited often on Tartaria, but that subreddit was created on 27 December, long after discussion had been taking place on places like CulturalLayer, and combined with the ‘mudflood’ ‘theory’ and the notion of giant humans, which are not significant features of the StolenHistory thread. This more convoluted and multifaceted version of the Tartaria theory doesn’t really have a single-document articulation, hence me not covering it here.
It is this StolenHistory thread which I will be looking at here today. Not just because it seems to be at the heart of it all, but also because it got shut down around 36 hours ago as of writing this post, based on the timestamps of panicked ‘what happened to StolenHistory’ posts on CulturalLayer and Tartaria. So what better occasion to go back to the Wayback Machine’s version, seeing as it’s now quite literally impossible to brigade the source? Now as I’ve said, this is not the most batshit insane it gets for the Tartaria crowd, in fact it’s incredibly tame. But by the end of it, I bet you’ll be thinking ‘if this is mild, how much more worse is the modern stuff!?’ And the best part is, I can debunk most of it without recourse to any other sources at all, because so much of it involves them posting sources out of context or expecting them to be read tendentiously.
But that’s enough background. Let us begin.

Part 1: The Existence

Exhibit 1: The Encylcopædia Britannica, 1771

”Tartary, a vast country in the northern parts of Asia, bounded by Siberia on the north and west: this is called Great Tartary. The Tartars who lie south of Muscovy and Siberia, are those of Astracan, Circassia, and Dagistan, situated north-west of the Caspian-sea; the Calmuc Tartars, who lie between Siberia and the Caspian-sea; the Usbec Tartars and Moguls, who lie north of Persia and India; and lastly, those of Tibet, who lie north-west of China.” - Encyclopædia Britannica, Vol. III, Edinburgh, 1771, p. 887.

Starting a post about the ‘hidden’ history of Central Asia with an encyclopædia entry from Scotland is really getting off to a good start, isn’t it? Anyone with a sense of basic geography can tell you that Tibet lies due west of China, not northwest. But more importantly, this shows you how single-minded the Tartaria advocates are and how tendentiously they read things. ‘Country’ need not actually refer to a state entity, it can just be a geographical space, especially in more archaic contexts such as this. Moreover, the ethnographic division of the ‘Tartars’ into Astrakhanis, Circassians, Dagestanis, Kalmuks, Uzbeks, and, for whatever reason, Tibetans, pretty clearly goes against the notion of a unified Tartary.

Now compare to the description given by Wikipedia, ”Tartary (Latin: Tartaria) or Great Tartary (Latin: Tartaria Magna) was a name used from the Middle Ages until the twentieth century to designate the great tract of northern and central Asia stretching from the Caspian Sea and the Ural Mountains to the Pacific Ocean, settled mostly by Turko-Mongol peoples after the Mongol invasion and the subsequent Turkic migrations.”

Obviously, Wikipedia is not a good source for… anything, really, but the fact that they’re giving a 349-year-old encyclopaedia primacy over the summary sentence of a wiki article is demonstrative of how much dishonesty is behind this. And it only gets worse from here.

Exhibit 2: Hermann Moll’s A System of Geography, 1701

THE Country of Tartary, call'd Great Tartary, to distinguish it from the Lesser, in Europe, has for its Boundaries, on the West, the Caspian Sea, and Moscovitick Tartary; on the North, the Scythian, or Tartarian Sea; on the East, the Sea of the Kalmachites, and the Straight of Jesso; and on the South, China, India, or the Dominions of the great Mogul and Persia : So that it is apparently the largest Region of the whole Continent of Asia, extending it self [sic] farthest, both towards the North and East: In the modern Maps, it is plac'd within the 70th and 170th Degree of Longitude, excluding Muscovitick Tartary; as also between the 40 and 72 Degree of Northern Latitude.

Immediately underneath the scan of this text is the statement, clearly highlighted, that

Tartary was not a tract. It was a country.

Hmm, very emphatic there. Except wait no, the same semantic problem recurs. ‘Country’ need not mean ‘state’. Moreover, in the very same paragraph, Moll (or rather his translator) refers to Tartary as a ‘Region’, which very much disambiguates the idea. Aside from that, it is telling that Moll refers to three distinct ‘Tartaries’: ’Great Tartary’ in Asia, ‘Lesser Tartary’ in Europe, and ‘Muscovite Tartary’ – that is, the eastern territories of the Russian Tsardom. If, as they are saying, ‘Great Tartary’ was a coherent entity, whatever happened to ‘Lesser Tartary’?

Exhibit 3: A 1957 report by the CIA on ‘National Cultural Development Under Communism’

Is a conspiracy theorist… actually believing a CIA document? Yep. I’ll add some context later that further complicates the issue.

Or let us take the matter of history, which, along with religion, language and literature, constitute the core of a people’s cultural heritage. Here again the Communists have interfered in a shameless manner. For example, on 9 August 1944, the Central Committee of the Communist Party, sitting in Moscow, issued a directive ordering the party’s Tartar Provincial Committee “to proceed to a scientific revolution of the history of Tartaria, to liquidate serious shortcomings and mistakes of a nationalistic character committed by individual writers and historians in dealing with Tartar history.” In other words, Tartar history was to be rewritten—let its be frank, was to be falsified—in order to eliminate references to Great Russian aggressions and to hide the facts of the real course of Tartar-Russian relations.
[similar judgement on Soviet rewriting of histories of Muslim areas to suit a pro-Russian agenda]

What’s fascinating about the inclusion of this document is that it is apparently often invoked as a piece of anti-Fomenko evidence, by tying New Chronology in with older Russian-nationalist Soviet revisionism. So not only is it ironic that they’re citing a CIA document, of all things, but a CIA document often used to undermine the spiritual founder of the whole Tartaria ‘theory’ in the first place! But to return to the point, the fundamental issue is that it’s tendentious. This document from 1957 obviously is not going to be that informed on the dynamics of Central Asian ethnicity and history in the way that a modern scholar would be.
In a broader sense, what this document is supposed to prove is that Soviet coverups are why we don’t know about Tartaria. But if most of the evidence came from Western Europe to begin with, why would a Soviet coverup matter? Why wasn’t Tartarian history deployed as a counter-narrative during the Cold War?

Exhibit 4: ‘An 1855 Source’

This is from a footnote in Sir George Cornwalle Lewis’ An Inquiry into the Credibility of the Early Roman History, citing a travelogue by Evariste Huc that had been published in French in 1850 and was soon translated into English. From the digitised version of of Huc’s book on Project Gutenberg (emphasis copied over from the thread):

Such remains of ancient cities are of no unfrequent occurrence in the deserts of Mongolia; but everything connected with their origin and history is buried in darkness. Oh, with what sadness does such a spectacle fill the soul! The ruins of Greece, the superb remains of Egypt,—all these, it is true, tell of death; all belong to the past; yet when you gaze upon them, you know what they are; you can retrace, in memory, the revolutions which have occasioned the ruins and the decay of the country around them. Descend into the tomb, wherein was buried alive the city of Herculaneum,—you find there, it is true, a gigantic skeleton, but you have within you historical associations wherewith to galvanize it. But of these old abandoned cities of Tartary, not a tradition remains; they are tombs without an epitaph, amid solitude and silence, uninterrupted except when the wandering Tartars halt, for a while, within the ruined enclosures, because there the pastures are richer and more abundant.

There’s a paraphrase from Lewis as well, but you can just read it on the thread. The key thing here is that yes, there were abandoned settlements in the steppe. Why must this be indicative of a lost sedentary civilisation, and not instead the remnants of political capitals of steppe federations which were abandoned following those federations’ collapse? Places like Karakorum, Kubak Zar, Almaliq and Sarai were principally built around political functions, being centres for concentration of religious and ritual authority (especially monasteries) and stores of non-movable (or difficult to move) wealth. But individual examples of abandoned settlements are not evidence of broad patterns of settlement that came to be abandoned en masse. Indeed, the very fact that the cited shepherd calls the abandoned location ‘The Old Town’ in the singular implies just how uncommon such sites were – for any given region, there might really only be one of note.

Exhibit 5: Ethnic characteristics in artistic depictions of Chinggis and Timur

I… don’t quite know what to make of these.

Today, we have certain appearance related stereotypes. I think we are very much off there. It looks like Tartary was multi-religious, and multi-cultural. One of the reasons I think so is the tremendous disparity between what leaders like Genghis Khan, Batu Khan, Timur aka Tamerlane looked like to the contemporary artists vs. the appearance attributed to them today.

Ummm, what?
These are apparently what they look like today. These are ‘contemporary’ depictions of Chinggis:

Except, as the guy posting the thread says, these are 15th-18th century depictions… so NOT CONTEMPORARY.
As for Timur, we have:

In what bizzaro world are these contemporary?
We’ll get to Batur Khan in a moment because that’s its own kettle of worms. But can this user not recognise that artists tend to depict things in ways that are familiar? Of course white European depictions of Chinggis and Timur will tend to make them look like white Europeans, while East Asian depictions of Chinggis will tend to make him look Asian, and Middle Eastern depictions of Chinggis and Timur will make them look Middle Eastern. This doesn’t prove that ‘Tartaria’ was multicultural, in fact it you’d have an easier time using this ‘evidence’ to argue that Chinggis and Timur were shapeshifters who could change ethnicities at will!

Exhibit 6: Turkish sculptures

Why this person thinks modern Turkish sculptures are of any use to anyone baffles me. The seven sculptures shown are of Batu Khan (founder of the ‘Golden Horde’/Jochid khanates), Timur, Bumin (founder of the First Turkic Khaganate), Ertugrul (father of Osman, the founder of the Ottoman empire), Babur (founder of the Mughal Empire), Attila the Hun, and Kutlug Bilge Khagan (founder of the Uyghur Khaganate). They are accompanied (except in the case of Ertugrul) by the dates of the empires/confederations that they founded – hence, for instance, Babur’s dates being 1526 to 1858, the lifespan of the Mughal Empire, or Timur’s being 1368 (which seems arbitrary) to 1507 (the fall of Herat to the Shaybanids). To quote the thread:

A few of them I do not know, but the ones I do look nothing like what I was taught at school. Also dates are super bizarre on those plaques.

Again, Turkish sculptors make Turkic people look like Turks. Big surprise. And the dates are comprehensible if you just take a moment to think.

Do Turks know something we don't?

Turkish, evidently.

Exhibit 7: A map from 1652 that the user can’t even read

The other reason why I think Tartary had to be multi-religious, and multi-cultural is its vastness during various moments in time. For example in 1652 Tartary appears to have control over the North America.

https://web.archive.org/web/20200701065421im_/https://www.stolenhistory.org/attachments/1652-nova-totius-terrarum-orbis-geographica-ac-hydrographica-tabula_1-1-jpg.37277/
This speaks for itself.
The thread was later edited to include a link to a post on ‘Tartarians’ in North America made on 7 August 2018, but that’s beside the point here, read at your own leisure (if you can call it ‘leisure’). Except for the part where at one point he admits he can’t read Latin, and so his entire theory in that post is based on the appearance of the word ‘Tartarorum’ in an unspecified context on a map of North America.

Part 2: The Coverup

The official history is hiding a major world power which existed as late as the 19th century. Tartary was a country with its own flag, its own government and its own place on the map. Its territory was huge, but somehow quietly incorporated into Russia, and some other countries. This country you can find on the maps predating the second half of the 19th century.

…Okay then.

Exhibit 8: Google Ngrams

https://web.archive.org/web/20200701065421im_/https://www.stolenhistory.org/attachments/tartary_ngram-jpg.37276/
This screenshot shows that the use of ‘Tartary’ and ‘Tartaria’ declined significantly over time. This is apparently supposed to surprise us. Or maybe it shows that we actually understand the region better…

Part 1a: Back to the existence

You know, a common theme with historical conspiracy theories is how badly they’re laid out, in the literal sense of the layout of their documents and video content. Don’t make a header called ‘The Coverup’ and then only have one thing before jumping back to the evidence for the existence again.

Exhibit 9: A Table

Yet, some time in the 18th century Tartary Muskovite was the biggest country in the world: 3,050,000 square miles.

https://web.archive.org/web/20200701065421im_/https://www.stolenhistory.org/attachments/tartary_huge-13-jpg.37329/
I do not have enough palms to slap into my face. Do they not understand that this is saying how much of Tartary was owned… by foreign powers?

Exhibit 10: Book covers

You can look at the images on the thread itself but here’s a few highlights:

1654: Bellum Tartaricum, or the Conquest of China By the Invasion of the Tartars, who in the last seven years, have wholly subdued that empire
1670: Historia de la Conquista de la China por el Tartaro

Histories of the Qing conquest of China, because as far as Europeans were concerned the Manchus were Tartars. Proof of Tartaria because…?

1662: The Voyages and Travels of the Ambassadors of the Duke of Holstein, to the Great Duke of Muscovy, and the King of Persia… Containing a compleat History of Muscovy, Tartary, Persia, and Other Adjacent Countries…

An ambassador who never set foot in ‘Tartary’ itself, cool cool, very good evidence there.
There’s also three screenshots from books that aren’t even specifically named, so impossible to follow up. Clearly this is all we need.

Exhibit 11: Maps

The maps are the key think the Tartaria pushers use. All these maps showing ‘Grand Tartary’ or ‘Tartaria’ or what have you. There’s 20 of these here and you can look for yourselves, but the key thing is: why do these people assume that this referred to a single state entity? Because any of these maps that include the world more generally will also present large parts of Africa in generic terms, irrespective of actual political organisation in these regions. And many of the later maps clearly show the tripartite division of the region into ‘Chinese Tartary’, ‘Russian Tartary’, and ‘Independent Tartary’, which you think would be clear evidence that most of this region was controlled by, well, the Chinese (really, the Manchus) and the Russians. And many of these maps aren’t even maps of political organisation, but geographical space. See how many lump all of mainland Southeast Asia into ‘India’. Moreover, the poor quality of the mapping should give things away. This one for instance is very clear on the Black Sea coast, but the Caspian is a blob, and moreover, a blob that’s elongated along the wrong axis! They’re using Western European maps as an indicator of Central Asian realities in the most inept way possible, and it would be sad if it weren’t so hilarious. The fact that the depictions of the size of Tartaria are incredibly inconsistent also seems not to matter.

Exhibit 12: The Tartarian Language

There’s an 1849 American newspaper article referring to the ‘Tartarian’ language, which is very useful thank you, and definitely not more reflective of American ignorance than actual linguistic reality.
The next one is more interesting, because it’s from a translation of some writing by a French Jesuit, referring to the writing of Manchu, and who asserted (with very little clear evidence) that it could be read in any direction. In April last year, Tartaria users [claimed to have stumbled on a dictionary of Tartarian and French](np.reddit.com/Tartaria/comments/bi3aph/tartarian_language_dictionary/) called the Dictionnaire Tartare-Mantchou-François. What they failed to realise is that the French generally called the Manchus ‘Tartare-Mantchou’, and this was in fact a Manchu-French dictionary. In other words, a [Tartare-Mantchou]-[François] dictionary, not a [Tartare]-[Mantchou]-[François] dictionary. It is quite plausible, in fact probable, that the ‘Tartarian’ referred to in the newspaper article was Manchu.

Exhibit 13: Genealogies of Tartarian Kings

Descended From Genghiscan

Reads the comment above this French chart. How the actual hell did OP not recognise that ‘Genghiscan’ is, erm, Genghis Khan? Is it that hard to understand that maybe, just maybe, ‘Tartars’ was what they called Mongols back in the day, and ‘Tartaria’ the Mongol empire and its remnants?

Exhibit 14: Ethnographic drawings

These prove that there were people called Tartars, not that there was a state of Tartaria. NEXT

Exhibit 15: Tartaria’s alleged flag

Images they provide include
https://web.archive.org/web/20200701065421im_/https://www.stolenhistory.org/attachments/tartary_flags-11-jpg.37367/
https://web.archive.org/web/20200701065421im_/https://www.stolenhistory.org/attachments/tartary_flag_6-jpg.37307/
Except there’s one problem. As any EU4 player will tell you, that’s the flag of the Khanate of Kazan. And while they can trot out a few 18th and 19th century charts showing the apparent existence of a Tartarian naval flag, the inconvenient fact that Tartaria would have been landlocked seems not to get in the way. To be sure, their consistent inclusion is odd, given the non-existence of Tartary as a country, and moreover its landlocked status. It seems plausible that the consistent similarity of the designs is just a result of constant copying and poor checking, but on its own it means relatively little.

Exhibit 16: 19th-century racism

https://web.archive.org/web/20200701065421im_/https://www.stolenhistory.org/attachments/flags_of_all_nations_1865-mongolian-1-jpg.37369/
That I think speaks for itself.

Exhibit 17: Flags of Moscow on one particular chart

It is also worth mentioning that in the British Flag Table of 1783, there are three different flags listed as a flag of the Tsar of Moscow. There is also an Imperial Flag of Russia as well as multiple naval flags. And all of them are proceeded by a flag of the Viceroy of Russia.

By that logic, the Royal Navy ran Britain because the Royal Navy ensigns precede the Union Jack. It’s simply a conscious decision to show the flags of individuals before the flags of states. The ‘Viceroy’ (unsure what the original Russian title would be) and ‘Czar’ of Muscovy would presumably be, well, the Emperor of Russia anyway, so as with the British section where the Royal Standard and the flags of naval officers came first, the same seems true of Russia. Also, as a side note, the placement of the USA at the end, after the Persians, the Mughals and ‘Tartarians’, is a fun touch.

Significance of the Viceroy is in the definition of the term. A viceroy is a regal official who runs a country, colony, city, province, or sub-national state, in the name of and as the representative of the monarch of the territory. Our official history will probably say that it was the Tsar of Russia who would appoint a viceroy of Moscow. I have reasons to doubt that.
Why is the flag of the Viceroy of Moscow positioned prior to any other Russian flag? Could it be that the Viceroy of Moscow was superior to its Czar, and was "supervising" how this Tartarian possession was being run?

No.

Part 3: 1812

This, this is where it gets really bonkers. A key part of this post is arguing that Napoleon’s invasion of Russia was a cover story for a joint invasion against Tartaria gone horrendously wrong. All the stops are being pulled out here.

There is a growing opinion in Russia that French invasion of Russia played out according to a different scenario. The one where Tsar Alexander I, and Napoleon were on the same side. Together they fought against Tartary. Essentially France and Saint Petersburg against Moscow (Tartary). And there is a strong circumstantial evidence to support such a theory.

Oh yes, we’re going there.

Questions to Answer:
1. Saint Petersburg was the capitol of Russia. Yet Napoleon chose to attack Moscow. Why?

He didn’t, he was trying to attack the Russian army. (credit to dandan_noodles).

2. It appears that in 1912 there was a totally different recollection of the events of 1812. How else could you explain commemorative 1912 medals honoring Napoleon?

Because it’s a bit of an in-your-face to Napoleon for losing so badly?

And specifically the one with Alexander I, and Napoleon on the same medal. The below medal says something similar to, "Strength is in the unity: will of God, firmness of royalty, love for homeland and people"

Yeah, it’s showing Alexander I beating Napoleon, and a triumphant double-headed Russian eagle above captured French standards. Also, notice how Alexander is in full regalia, while Napoleon’s is covered up by his greatcoat?

3. Similarity between Russian and French uniforms. There are more different uniforms involved, but the idea remains, they were ridiculously similar.

Ah yes, because fashions in different countries always develop separately, and never get influenced by each other.

How did they fight each other in the dark?

With difficulty, presumably.
Basically, he’s saying that this: https://web.archive.org/web/20200701065421im_/https://www.stolenhistory.org/attachments/1_rus-jpg.37322/
Is too similar to this: https://web.archive.org/web/20200701065421im_/https://www.stolenhistory.org/attachments/1_rus-jpg.37322/
To be coincidental.
OK, whatever. Here’s where it gets interesting:

There was one additional combat asset officially available to Russians in the war of 1812. And that was the Militia. It does appear that this so-called Militia, was in reality the army of Tartary fighting against Napoleon and Alexander I.

Russian VolunteeMilitia Units... Tartarians?
Clearly this man has never encountered the concept of a cossack, an opelchenie, or, erm, a GREATCOAT.

4. Russian nobility in Saint Petersburg spoke French well into the second half of the 19th century. The general explanation was, that it was the trend of time and fashion. Google contains multiple opinions on the matter. * Following the same logic, USA, Britain and Russia should've picked up German after the victory in WW2.

Clearly never heard of the term lingua franca then.

5. This one I just ran into: 19th-century fans were totally into a Napoleon/Alexander romance

https://web.archive.org/web/20200701065421im_/https://www.stolenhistory.org/attachments/treaties_of_tilsit_miniature_-france-_1810s-_side_a-jpg.37314/
https://web.archive.org/web/20200701065421im_/https://www.stolenhistory.org/attachments/napoleonxalexander2-jpg.37310/
https://web.archive.org/web/20200701065421im_/https://www.stolenhistory.org/attachments/napoleon-alexander-jpg.37312/
It is true that after the Treaty of Tilsit, Napoleon wrote to his wife, Josephine, that

I am pleased with [Emperor] Alexander; he ought to be with me. If he were a woman, I think I should make him my mistress.

But Napoleon’s ‘honeymoon period’ with Russia following the Treaty of Tilsit should not be seen as indicative of a permanent Napoleonic affection for Russia. Notably, Napoleon’s war with Russia didn’t just end in 1812. How are the Tartaria conspiracists going to explain the War of the Sixth Coalition, when Russian, Prussian and Austrian troops drove the French out of Germany? Did the bromance suddenly stop because of 1812? Or, is it more reasonable to see 1812 as the end result of the bromance falling apart?

Conclusions

So there you have it, Tartaria in all its glorious nonsensicalness. Words cannot capture how massively bonkers this entire thing is. And best of all, I hardly needed my own sources because so much of it is just a demonstration of terrible reading comprehension. Still, if you want to actually learn about some of the history of Inner Eurasia, see below:

Bibliography

The Cambridge History of Inner Asia – 2 volumes so far, covering up to 1886. Not really a single contiguous narrative, as each chapter has its own individual author, but a good general coverage.
Scott C. Levi, The Bukharan Crisis: A Connected History of 18th Century Central Asia (2020) – A book about actual Central Asian history, focussing on the global and local factors that led to the weakening and collapse of the Chinggisid state in Bukhara and the rise of the Uzbek-led Emirate. Also a very good historiographical examination of lay understandings of the period.
Mark C. Elliott, ‘The Limits of Tartary: Manchuria in Imperial and National Geographies’, The Journal of Asian Studies, Vol. 59, No. 3 (2000) – A discussion of conceptions of Manchuria by Manchu, Chinese, Japanese and European cartographers and geographers, with the section on European geographers being important for getting at the ‘Tartary’ aspect.
David Christian, ‘Inner Eurasia as a Unit of World History’, Journal of World History, Vol. 5, No. 2 (1994) – A somewhat older view, presenting Inner Eurasia as a distinct unit in world history, but largely in terms of effects on the rest of Eurasia.
Nicola di Cosmo, ‘State Formation and Periodization in Inner Asian History’, Journal of World History, Vol.10, No.1 (1999) – A partial response to Christian, offering an alternate periodisation based more on the internal dynamics of nomadic state formations and stressing viewing Inner Asian history in terms of those internal dynamics, rather than relegating it to a subordinate place in the histories of ‘Outer Eurasian’, sedentary states.
Konstantin Sheiko, ‘Lomonosov’s Bastards: Anatolii Fomenko, Pseudo-History and Russia’s Search for a Post-Communist Identity’ [PhD Thesis] (2004) – Specifically deconstructs Fomenko’s version of Tartaria.

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The chances of any male aged 15-39 starting for a team in their national domestic league - an analysis of 11 Leagues.

The Assumptions

Method

Limitations

Leagues to look at

New Caledonia

Turks and Caicos Islands

Tahiti

Luxembourg

Liechtenstein

St.Kitts and Nevis

Andorra

Faroe Islands

Gibraltar

San Marino

Monserrat

Bonus

The Vatican City

Conclusion

2020 Sakhir GP Free Practice 1 and 2 Debrief - r/Formula1 Editorial Team

2020 Sakhir GP Free Practice 1 and 2 Debrief

Links

Live Session Discussion Threads

ICYMI

Formula1 Editorial Team’s Pre-Weekend Articles

Grosjean Discharged From Hospital as Pietro Fittipaldi Replaces Him for the Weekend

Hamilton Tests Positive for COVID-19 and Russell Announced to Replace Him

Mick Schumacher and Nikita Mazepin Confirmed for 2021 Season

Aitken Replaces Russell at Williams for the Weekend

Simone Resta leaves Ferrari and moves to Haas F1

Track and Tech Talk

Free Practice 1

Free Practice 2

Predictions for Tomorrow

Riding With George and Pietro

Riding with George

Free Practice 1

Free Practice 2

Riding With Pietro

[Share] My Music Library Index (861GB)

The Houston Astros: A Legacy of Misery

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Looking Back at the Last Decade of Baseball: The 2020s in Review (part 1 of 2)

2021

2022

2023

2024

2025

So You Want To Start A Nation

Tartaria: The Supposed Mega-Empire of Inner Eurasia

Introduction

State of Play, and why I’m doing this

Where does it come from?

Part 1: The Existence

Exhibit 1: The Encylcopædia Britannica, 1771

Exhibit 2: Hermann Moll’s A System of Geography, 1701

Exhibit 3: A 1957 report by the CIA on ‘National Cultural Development Under Communism’

Exhibit 4: ‘An 1855 Source’

Exhibit 5: Ethnic characteristics in artistic depictions of Chinggis and Timur

Exhibit 6: Turkish sculptures

Exhibit 7: A map from 1652 that the user can’t even read

Part 2: The Coverup

Exhibit 8: Google Ngrams

Part 1a: Back to the existence

Exhibit 9: A Table

Exhibit 10: Book covers

Exhibit 11: Maps

Exhibit 12: The Tartarian Language

Exhibit 13: Genealogies of Tartarian Kings

Exhibit 14: Ethnographic drawings

Exhibit 15: Tartaria’s alleged flag

Exhibit 16: 19th-century racism

Exhibit 17: Flags of Moscow on one particular chart

Part 3: 1812

Conclusions

Bibliography

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