Data is taken from the Covid-19 portal and today's media availability with Premier Jason Kenney, Minister of Health Tyler Shandro, and Dr Deena Hinshaw. Dr Hinshaw's next availability it will be Monday.
There are currently enhanced measures in effect for the province of Alberta. This link provides a quick summary of which ones are in effect for different regions of Alberta. Alberta is currently on "Early Steps", with the goal of reaching Step 1 on February 8th.
Top line numbers:

• For values where "Current" and "Total" are the same, I have left results under Total

Value	Current	Change	Total
Total cases	—	+543	123,364
Active cases	7,805	-236	—
Cases with "Unknown source"	1,129 (34.8%) in last 7 days	-49 (-0.3%)	—
Tests	—	+11,608 (~4.68% positive)	3,154,153
People tested	—	+3,029	1,749,944 (~400,353/million)
Hospitalizations	594	+3/-7 based on yesterday's post/portal data	5,326 (+33)
ICU	110	-2/-3 based on yesterday's post/portal data	858 (+7)
Deaths	—	+14	1,620
Recoveries	—	+765	113,939

Age Range of Deaths

Age Bracket	New Deaths	Total Deaths
20-29	0	7
30-39	1	8
40-49	0	18
50-59	0	51
60-69	1	164
70-79	3	321
80+	9	1,050
Unknown	0	1

Vaccinations

Value	Change	Total
Vaccinations	+1,803	104,327 (~23,868/million)
Albertans with 2 vaccinations	+1,680	14,352 (~3,283/million)

Reported UK and South Africa Variants

• The value is updated by Alberta Health weekly
• Last update: January 29

Variant	Change since last update (January 25)	Cases
United Kingdom (B.1.1.7)	+11	31
South Africa (B.1.351)	+1	6

Spatial distribution of people tested, cases, and deaths:

• All other values are compared with respect to yesterday

Zone	Active Cases	People Tested	Total	New Cases	Total	New Deaths	Total
Calgary	3,138 (-64)	+1,203	708,112	+223	47,320	+1	505
Central	692 (-18)	+290	155,673	+67	8,777	+3	87
Edmonton	2,662 (-102)	+834	581,259	+155	51,266	+9	848
North	957 (-53)	+350	164,314	+58	10,049	+1	109
South	340 (+4)	+179	108,042	+39	5,822	+0	71
Unknown	16 (-3)	+173	32,544	+1	130	+0	0

Effective Reproductive Number (R, or Rt)

• The value is updated by Alberta Health on Mondays
• Last update: January 25
• What % the confidence interval represents isn't stated

Zone	R Value (Confidence interval)
Province-wide	0.81 (0.79-0.84)
Edmonton	0.81 (0.77-0.85)
Calgary	0.83 (0.79-0.87)
Rest of Province	0.77 (0.73-0.82)

Spatial distribution of cases for select cities and regions (cities proper for Calgary and Edmonton):

City/Municipality	Total	Active	Recovered	Deaths
Edmonton	41,833 (+122)	2,134 (-87)	38,987 (+204)	712 (+5)
Calgary	39,762 (+185)	2,592 (-41)	36,718 (+225)	452 (+1)
Red Deer	1,844 (+17)	174 (+2)	1,651 (+14)	19 (+1)
Lethbridge	1,704 (+29)	133 (+15)	1,559 (+14)	12 (+0)
Fort McMurray	1,681 (+2)	92 (-10)	1,586 (+12)	3 (+0)
Brooks	1,361 (+0)	3 (-1)	1,344 (+1)	14 (+0)
Grande Prairie	1,150 (+7)	147 (-5)	984 (+12)	19 (+0)
High River + county	769 (+0)	24 (-3)	738 (+3)	7 (+0)
Mackenzie county	553 (+7)	40 (+4)	498 (+3)	15 (+0)
Medicine Hat	527 (+2)	21 (+0)	493 (+2)	13 (+0)
Cardston county	466 (+4)	83 (-7)	377 (+11)	6 (+0)
I.D. No 9 (Banff)	423 (+11)	29 (+11)	394 (+0)	0
Wheatland county	232 (+2)	14 (+1)	218 (+1)	0
Warner county	158 (+0)	6 (+0)	150 (+0)	2 (+0)
Wood Buffalo municipality	133 (+2)	9 (+2)	124 (+0)	0
Rest of Alberta	30,768 (+153)	2,304 (-117)	28,118 (+263)	346 (+7)

Other municipalities with 10+ active cases is given at this link
Schools with outbreaks are listed online.
Quick numbers (changes since yesterday):

• 114 school are on alert (2-4 active cases) (+4)
• 15 schools are on outbreak with 5-9 active cases (+2)
• 4 school is on outbreak with over 10 active cases (+0)

Spatial distribution of hospital usage (change as of yesterday's post):

• Hospitalization zone are where the patient is receiving care, not zone of residence

Zone	Hospitalized	ICU
Calgary	199 (+8)	48 (+2)
Edmonton	246 (-9)	38 (-4)
Central	45 (-1)	7 (+0)
South	34 (+3)	8 (-1)
North	70 (+2)	9 (+1)

Statements by Premier Kenney
Opening Remarks

• Alberta must continue to proceed cautiously
• System is managing as a province, but some hospital facilities is still significant
• Peak reached in early January (>90% Covid capable bed occupancy)
• Problem in every region of the province as many rural regions are cared for in Calgary/Edmonton
• All healthcare workers have limits and we must protect capacity
• Notes (i) Peter Lougheed and Butterdome field units, (ii) AHS having no budget limits at the moment, and (iii) limited staff available

Restrictions

• Recognizes that stress that comes with economic and employment instability
• Why a "lockdown" has never been imposed with curfews, closed schools, and business closure
• Broad public support and compliance is important
• To strike this balance, wants to show a path forward...that bending curve lets public health measures lift
• Must be carefully, slowly, and data driven

Restriction Metrics

• Restrictions will be lifted in a stepped approach based on hospitalizations (ICU and general acute) values. It is a lagging indicator of healthcare capacity
• When a benchmark is reached, discussion will be considered for further advancement of relaxation. Hospitalizations will be primary factor, but growth of cases will also be considered
• Hospitalizations will be reviewed 3 weeks later. If hospitalizations have continued to fall, further progression will be considered
• Case numbers represent recent trends and will be used to determine if relaxations need to be paused or if additional restrictions are needed
• If cases surge to exponential growth and if a variant begins to increase spread, restrictions will be imposed again

Details of Relaxation Plan

• Some restrictions will apply in all steps and at least 3 weeks are place in between each step
• Early Steps: Schools open, outdoor gatherings up to 10 people, personal and wellness by appointment only, funerals up to 20 people
• Step 1 - Begins February 8th: Some easing in school function (indoooutdoor sports, performance activities), some indoor fitness, some dine-in options for restaurants/cafes/pubs bound by clear limitations (e.g. - distancing requirements, group size, masking, etc).
• Step 2 - Requires: Average hospitalization <450: Some easing for retail, banquet halls, community halls, hotels, conference centres. Some further easing on children sports/performance, indoor fitness
• Step 3 - Requires: Average hospitalization <300: Consider places of worship and limited reopening of museums, libraries, casinos, and indoor seated events. Consider indoor indoor social gatherings with limitations. All that are considered will have restrictions still
• Step 4 - Requires: Average hospitalization <150: Restrictions will exist, but will be closer to last summer. Wide range of indoor and indoor activities would be considered. Wedding/funeral receptions, trade shows, are on the table at this point
• Requires buy in from Albertans
• As measures are eased, community spread can occur
• Moving from 1 stage to another will not be automatic - it will be open for discussion
• Leading indicators will be used to warn of "red flags" for pausing relaxation

Closing Remarks

• Minister of Jobs Doug Schweitzer will make announcements for support in coming days
• Hopes that this will be a boost to Albertans and Albertan businesses
• We are not at the end and it will be a while until we see a real effect from vaccines. Variants add to the challenge
• This is not "back to normal" and if we think so, we'll start rolling back steps of the above plan again

Q&A

• There are people who willingly ignore restrictions. What should be done here?: Enforcement is last resort. Regrettable to see that people are doing this and it is disrespectful to healthcare staff; they are saying they are more important than healthcare and can hurt the entire province. Understands the frustration, but things won't improve if people continue to break rules. Calls politicians who support ignoring restrictions "irresponsible" and thinks stronger enforcement is required
• (Upon prompting, Dr Hinshaw added that most Albertans are following restrictions and cannot let the minority dictate the actions of the majority - more compliance results in higher potential for restrictions down the road)
• How much decision making is politics in UCP strongholds?: Decisions in Covid cabinet are data driven. One factor is population compliance; polling say it's about 20% of Albertans think restrictions are too stringent, 40% say it's about right, 40% not strong enough (believes there is no strong consensus). Believes vast majority of Albertans are compliant
• Who will get delayed with limited vaccine doses?: Defers to Minister Shandro. Notes he is worried about EU restricting exports of vaccine and asks federal government put pressure on Pfizer
• (Minister Shandro: Still reviewing. Will follow recommendations of health officials and defers to Dr Hinshaw)
• (Dr Hinshaw: Risk of severe outcomes driven. Still need to review)

Statements by Dr Hinshaw
Cases

• ~12% of schools have active cases (607 cases combined)
• Active cases in 291 schools
• 12 cases of variants identified: 31 UK total, 6 from South Africa
• All but 3 linked to travel and from same household (1 was the community spread case)
• No evidence of further community spread

Relaxations

• Knows many Albertans are keen to return to activities they have missed
• Most important step will be following restrictions in spirit
• If in-person interactions can be replaced, cases will further reduce and prevent spread of variants

Q&A

• What data is being used for deciding Step 1?: Uses BC as an example for successful limited service in these activities and did study of where spread can occur. Group fitness events are high spread (especially high intensity). Opening for fitness will be to bar high intensity fitness. Opening only low risk parts (e.g. - only a single household at a table). More information next week.
• (Premier Kenney added that global data was used)
• How much did Covid variant affect this plan?: Key part of plan is followed by 3 weeks of observation. A part of the 3 week timeline is to monitor for rising cases. This will allow for monitoring
• How confident are you in containing variant?: Concerning in case identification. Significant testing of incoming travellers has allowed for early containment of most cases
• (Premier Kenney added: Concerned for widespread risk of variant. Also considers some positives in vaccines being rolled out and increased contact tracing)

Statements by Minster Shandro

• Proud of progress of vaccination
• Notes Moderna's cut; it feels like Alberta isn't a priority
• Alberta Health was informed that it will reduce from 24,600 to 18,800 doses (5,800 fewer. ~23.5%)
• Informed all February Moderna deliveries being accessed, so unknown how much Alberta will receive in that time
• Accessing impact on first and second doses
• Knows the frustration from Albertans and thinks new from federal governments continues getting worse
• Wants a national strategy for vaccine supply

Q&A

• Does reopening 1 week from now contradict previous comments from Dr Hinshaw/Minister Shandro?: 2 important messages about "stepping up and stepping down". Trying to show Albertans how it could happen and separate from message of potential for further restrictions if cases spread further
• (Upon request from Minister Shandro, Premier Kenney added: The approach is very gradual and are already available in neighbouring provinces of BC and Saskatchewan. Will monitor closely as to best balance multiple pressure on the province. Notes mental health has worsened because of economic stresses for business owners)
• (Dr Hinshaw was asked to add by Premier Kenney: Notes that significant restrictions will exist in the sectors that reopen. But to get more than that will take more work from Albertans to reduce cases and hospitalization)

Additional information will be logged below:

• The final question was for Premier Kenney in French. While I cannot translate, the reporter stated it was about the compliance of Albertans on vaccines.

DCNext Proudly Presents…!

STARMAN

Issue #8: Storm Force

Arc II: Fire Opal

Written by Fortanono
Edited by VoidKiller826
<< Previous | Next >> (coming February)
-=-=-=-= 🌟 =-=-=-=-
Part 1: Jennifer Knight
”Now!” Ted barks through my earphone. I dash between the rooftops of a series of old brick buildings and look down. Courtney and Jack are shooting blasts of energy through the dense pale-green fog that fills the streets around us; Rick is looking around, clearly bored but unable to actually do anything. Darrell is above the arena, making sure everything goes smoothly, and Aunt Sandra is somewhere around here but I have no actual idea where. I jump down, twisting my dial to the “Bubble” mode as I land. Quickly, I summon a purple-black bubble around me, trapping just a bit of the Mist’s fog in it. I’ve successfully separated part of the Mist from the rest of him, but I’ll have to be quick about what comes next.
The small tendril of fog in my bubble seems to realize what’s happening as I dart as far as I can down the street. I see it bend and contract, diving into my throat. I start choking; it becomes harder and harder to breathe, but I just have to go a bit further out. Eventually, as I begin to get light-headed, I release the bubble and switch my dial to “Panic.” A burst of energy surrounds me, knocking the fog away from me and out of my mouth. I cough a bit before straightening myself and speaking into my microphone.
”He’s gonna try to reassemble himself,” I say. ”Darrell, it’s your move.”
”Right,” Darrell says. I can’t see him above the battlefield, but I immediately notice his presence as dozens of tiny blue-and-red drones drift down from the sky, each one with fans. They surround the Mist’s missing piece, keeping him in one place, still separate from the cloud that Jack, Rick, and Courtney are dealing with.
”Fantastic,” Ted radios in. ”Mist’s primary goal will always be to keep himself together. It’s a sort of side-effect to his powers. Keep him there, and the rest of him’ll follow eventually, no matter how hard he resists.”
It takes a few seconds, but the giant cloud of fog slowly starts drifting to meet up with the smaller one. Courtney and Jack rush over to the area with the fans, both concentrating fire on the one position where they’re merging. I turn my dial to “Energy Blast” and add my own energy to the mixture. Slowly but surely, the green fog begins to get thicker, and soon enough, the figure of the Mist begins to take hold.
“I was hoping you guys still thought I was in Gotham,” he mutters in a raspy voice. I stare at the face of the villain that Ted had been so worried about, remembering how we had prepared for this battle for over a month before he felt comfortable sending us out. He looks old, weak; in his eyes, I see a man who knows he’s been defeated, a man who may have once been a titan but whom old age has gotten to. I smile as Aunt Sandra decloaks and cuffs him with a pair of power-dampening handcuffs. Nearby, a police car pulled up and Clarence, one of the older O’Dare brothers, escorts him away.
“I will be back,” he hisses. “You should all know that.”
I know that it’s still possible for him to come back once again, that he had even come back when the world thought he was dead. There is a sincere promise in his words. But even so, seeing the frail figure of Opal City’s legendary villain once again defeated, I smile.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Rick, Darrell, Courtney, and I re-enter Ted’s workshop once again; Jack and Sandra split from us and went back to the Stargazer. As we descend the stairs, I could tell that Ted was over the moon.
“Wow,” he says to himself. “Just… wow. I’ll be entirely honest; I was certain we would have had to retreat at some point during that battle. I did not expect this to be one and done.”
“Well,” Rick chuckles, “I think the guy’s just a fucking pansy. No offense; I get why you couldn’t beat him or whatever, but like, the dude tries to make us go to Gotham so he didn’t have to deal with us. Again, no offense; I’m sure you were, like, a great hero in your time, of course.”
Ted laughs heartily. “None taken. I’m sure that as he’s gotten older, he’s had to rely more on cheap parlor tricks like the one in Gotham. I, for one, definitely knows how the aging process can take a toll on your abilities. I’m just… so happy that bastard is behind bars again.”
Courtney nods. “Here here.”
“Anyway,” Ted says, “I’d like to let you know that our little merry band of heroes is going to get a fifth member fairly soon.” His tone sours as he continues to speak. “My sister… she’s a vapid idiot, so you can understand that we haven’t talked in a long time, but her son started developing metahuman powers. And he started going out as a hero. She told me that she couldn’t stop him, so she wants him to at least have more support.”
“Ah, great,” Rick laughs. “Because I was just thinking that we didn’t have enough people who sucked at being heroes on this squad.”
“Rick,” Ted glares. “Please cool your behavior. I’ve seen what you’re able to do on the field and I must say: it’s pretty bad too.”
The door to the workshop slides open once again, and a new kid walks down the stairs. He’s got dark brown hair that’s just barely covering his eyes and is wearing a grey T-shirt and jeans. He waves to us as he walks down the stairs to meet with us.
“Hi,” he says. “Name’s Aaron. Aaron Munro. I’ll be working with you guys for a while.”
“He’s been helping people in his hometown of Liberty Hill as the great ‘Iron Munro’ for the past few months now,” Ted explains. “Unfortunately, Aaron, when you decided to do that, you perhaps made the worst mistake you could have made in this line of work. You made your identity public. Tell me, why’d you do that.”
Aaron sighed. “I… I just thought it was a small town, and I figured we all knew each other already, and… I guess I wanted to be recognized for my deeds or something.”
“I’m sure you’ll feel sufficiently recognized when your mother gets a bullet in her skull,” Ted says bluntly. “Let’s be clear: I hate the lady, but not that much. Come with me.” Ted beckons Aaron to the far corner of the workshop.
I stare blankly at what’s happening in front of me; Ted’s a hardass, but this is… a bit much even for him. Clearly, this was about more than just business. I had heard small things about Ted’s sister before but never met her or her family. Whatever happened to separate them had to have been a big deal.
Ted shows Aaron to a costume on a stand in the corner; it consists of a brown-and-grey bulletproof bodysuit with metal accents and a full face-mask made entirely of metal. “This,” Ted says, “is going to be the new you. I’m calling it: ‘Metalsmith.’”
“Th-thanks,” he says. He looks frustrated; I can tell that he’s not happy to be here, but he’s holding it all in. “I--I just have to say that… this really isn’t my style. I’m trying to go for a friendly hometown hero vibe, and having my whole face covered up… It just doesn’t seem right.”
Ted grimaces. “You did the hometown hero thing, and you failed. You showed your face to everyone. Metalsmith isn’t the friendliest guy around, but he’s safe and so is his family. If you wanna talk about alterations, feel free to tell me. But keep in mind that I have to work to preserve your safety first.”
Aaron nods. “Fine,” he says.
I look around the room; all of my teammates are either looking at the spectacle in front of them, or looking at their phones. Starved of anything else to look at, I turn to look at Rick’s phone. He’s responding to a text message from someone named Luisa; I think she’s a girl in his class or something. It doesn’t quite look like a message about normal things teenagers talk about, though.
hey, so I have a confession to make, the message begins. John and Maya and i, we knew about you being hourman and everything before we met you. we’re still your friends, we always were, but we also want to get your help with something we’re working on. a project that involves metahumans, basically. let us know if you’re interested.
I immediately turn away from the message on the phone. Clearly, this is something I’m not supposed to know about, but now that I do, I can’t stop thinking about it. Some other people want Rick to help them with… something related to his powers. It sounds really shady; should I tell Ted about this? It could be a conflict of interest, whatever it is. On the other hand, Ted doesn’t seem like the most level-headed person to deal with this. Who knows; maybe it’s for some sort of superhero stunt show or something really cool, and I’d be denying him access to that.
Whatever. It’s not my problem right now. It was never meant for me.
“Hey,” Aaron says. “You here? You listening?”
I look up; Aaron is standing right in front of me, his hand outstretched. “Sorry,” I say, shaking his hand. “My name’s Jennifer. It’s nice to meet you.”
-=-=-=-= 🌟 =-=-=-=-
Part 2: Sandra Knight
“Well, that could’ve gone a lot worse,” I say, currently on the back of Jack’s Star-Cycle. Jack apparently figured out that he could make his motorcycle fly if he used his Cosmic Rod, which is both hilarious and something that neither Ted nor David would ever begin to consider trying out. Which is why Jack is so great; he’s questioning everything, figuring out new ways of doing things, and making a motorcycle fly.
Feeling the wind rush against my face, I’m taken immediately back to my rebellious college days and my early stints as the Phantom Lady. It’s nice, almost nostalgic, but still different enough. We come to a descent in the back of the Stargazer, and Jack locks up his motorcycle.
Hope comes out the back door to greet us. “Glad you could make it,” she says. “Cutting it a little close, though, I gotta say. The meeting’s in less than 5 minutes.”
Oh, right. The meeting with our potential client. The Mist tends to give a lot of people tunnel-vision; I had completely forgotten about this.
“Sorry about that,” Jack chuckles. “You know how it is, going out, saving the day. Maybe someday, you should give it a--” He cuts himself off as I glare at him. His expression turns more serious. “I’m so sorry,” he finally says. “I forgot about what happened with you and the Mist.”
Hope sighs. “It’s fine,” she says. “We can deal with this another time. He’s behind bars yet again; he can’t hurt anyone else. That’s the best news anyone could hope for.”
We walk into the office; Jack takes a seat, ready for the meeting. “So, this new client. What’s the deal with them, again? Missing kid? Brother’s a supervillain?”
“She has some information on who might have been behind the prison break a few months ago,” I say.
“Okay, wow,” Jack responds. “That’s sort of a big deal.”
We hear the door swing open. A young woman with light brown skin and shoulder-length black hair walks in. She’s wearing a sleeveless white shirt and black winter coat; on her left hand is a tattoo of the Superman “S” sigil. “Look who’s here,” Jack smiles. “Glad you could make it.”
The woman sits down in front of Jack, putting her coat on the back of the chair. “Yeah, well, me too,” she sighs. “Listen, if you have any witness protection-type deals or whatever, can you hook me up with one of them? I’m honestly… I’m honestly terrified right now.”
I nod. “Well, there are a few options there. My cousin can easily create a fake ID and get you out of the city without anyone noticing. If you want to go through a more legitimate program, Hope here has contacts with the police who can get you into proper witness protection.”
“I’ll take the first one,” she says. She reaches out and shakes Jack’s hand. “Name’s Sarah. I’ve been working for Maxie Zayas for the last few months; I needed work, and he seemed really nice at first.”
Maxie Zayas. That’s going to be a tough one. A big-time club owner and crime boss, following in the footsteps of his father; I was personally involved in putting his old man behind bars. All of Opal City’s heroes know about him, but we’ve never been able to really do much about it. A few years ago, David flew into Maxie’s club and arrested him straight-up for drug trafficking. Not 12 hours later, he was out, cleared of all charges.
This isn’t going to be a battle we can fight with force.
I walk closer to the table where Sarah and Jack are seated. “And you believe that Zayas is responsible for the recent breakout?”
Sarah nods. “At some point, I began to hear whispers that he was planning some meteoric takeover of Opal City. He said he needed something to distract the local heroes in the meantime. And then, a few days before the big event happened, I saw him talking to that card guy who broke them all out.”
“Jeremy Tell,” Jack says.
“I… I couldn’t be a part of whatever he was doing,” Sarah says. “I grew up in Opal City. Believe it or not, I loved you guys.” She points to me. “I actually had a poster of you in my room. I thought Zayas was a harmless dude who just sat around. It wasn’t a big deal, whatever he was doing. The people he broke out… I remember seeing what they did on the news. I had to talk to you.”
“Glad you did,” Jack says. “Hey, that’s awesome that you had a poster of Phantom Lady. Wait, why aren’t we selling posters?” He turns to me. “Can we do that?”
I laugh. “Topic at hand,” I smile.
Mia leaves, and Hope walks up to us. “So… what’s the plan then? We can’t both take down Zayas and the people he released, right? Those are two huge undertakings.”
“That may be so,” I say. I pause for a second. “We may not need to. If we can get the All-Stars to handle the escaped convicts, we could divert all of our attention towards figuring out what Zayas is planning.”
“Okay,” Jack says, “but how are we going to take him down? David tried, and he failed miserably. The guy’s just super well-connected. We can’t just storm in there, can we.”
I smile. “Jack, sweetie. There are other ways to do this kind of work that don’t involve punching all your problems away.”
-=-=-=-= 🌟 =-=-=-=-
Interlude VIII: Hour of Espionage
”Positions, everyone,” Al Carlyle said through the microphone. ”We need to set the scene just right.”
Carlyle stared at the multitude of cameras around him. He watched as Luisa, Maya, and John made their way to the docks. Turning to another monitor, he watched as several stealth-agents readied their sniper rifles, hiding on rooftops, in windows. He pressed a button on the console in front of him; a series of machines around the docks whirred to life; to the outside observer, they looked like they were doing nothing, but Carlyle knew that they were the key to this mission.
“I have to say,” Luisa said apprehensively. “I’m really worried about this. These snipers… if he doesn’t show up, they will kill us, right?”
”11:49 PM,” Carlyle reiterated. ”Unfortunately, for this to work, the snipers have to be steadfastly committed to their mission. The dude doesn’t get visions about things that could happen. He gets them about things that will if he doesn’t intervene. But don’t worry; we’ve run several experiments with the energy emitters. Every time, he shows up right on cue.”
Luisa nodded. ”Okay. And what’s the deal with those machine things? You’ve explained them to me before, but I’m not good at remembering all the science stuff. Just isn’t my thing.”
”They emit a specific frequency of radiation that, for reasons unbeknownst to us, seem to massively increase the likelihood that Rick gets a vision in that area. We found residual traces of it naturally occurring in almost half of Rick’s usual visions; when we massively crank up the numbers, he always seems to show.”
The three kids sat down at the dock. After a few seconds, Carlyle spoke up. ”We’ve gotten confirmation that Rick has now left his house. The snipers can now evacuate the area. The three of you, just act normal. It’ll take the better part of the hour for him to get here, so get comfortable.” As soon as they had settled in, the masked snipers quickly ran off, lowering their weapons and quickly changing into civilian wear like clockwork.
John was the first to speak up after Carlyle went silent. “So, what, we’re gonna wait, like, 58 minutes until he gets there? Well, this will be boring.” He pulled out a couple of joints from his pocket. “Anyone want some?”
“We’re on duty,” Maya said. “I don’t think it’s worth it.”
John shrugged. “What? We have to sit around, pretend like we’re doing something, and then act all buddy-buddy with him when he shows up. It’s not like we’re taking down Basilisk; this is easy shit. It’ll be fine.”
Maya shook her head. “We should wait.”
John chuckled. “Alright, fine, you win. But we’re popping these babies out as soon as the man of the hour gets here. Got it?” He shoved the joints back into his pocket.
“Alright, whatever you want,” Maya smiled. “Just don’t come running to me when Carlyle yells at our asses for being high on the job.”
Carlyle watched the security footage, smiling and shaking his head to himself. Behind him, William Vickers walked up. He was the same age as the rest of them, but he had proven himself remarkably more mature than the others, quickly becoming the group’s de facto leader.
“Sorry to bother you at this time,” William said. “I gotta talk to you about another developing situation.” Carlyle hesitated, before standing up and dusting himself off. The two of them walked into the next room, where they began to talk.
“Basilisk activity’s been at an all-time high for the past few months,” William finally said. “Just recently, they’ve opened up 3 new cells in Germany, and are pulling in a remarkable number of recruits in Indonesia and Malaysia, to name a few. There’s also been a lot of restructuring; several smaller cells have been suddenly relocated to South America for some odd reason. If the ASA’s gonna be able to keep limiting their spread, we need more agents, and they need to be trained.”
Carlyle nodded. “Yes, yes,” he said. “I’ll remind you that you’re looking at only a small piece of the bigger picture. We are only a tiny fraction of what the ASA has to offer, and the adults are well aware of these issues. That said, you’re not wrong; we need all the help we can get. That’s what we’re working on right now.”
“Rick Tyler,” William affirmed. “He seems strong; he’d be a great start. But one metahuman won’t be enough. We need more metahuman soldiers, or at least, soldiers equipped with energy weapons and similar tech. The capes have been doing it for years; it works. But somehow, we can’t seem to find nearly enough people willing to serve. Maya’s the only metahuman on our squad right now, and her powers are still very much a wild card in combat scenarios.”
Carlyle nodded. “Yes,” he finally said. “Well, I don’t think that just recruiting a bunch of people is the right way to go. If we do that, we run the risk of potentially exposing ourselves to a large number of double-agents. But… if this lead pans out, there might be a way to enhance the prowess of the agents we already have.”
William perked up. “Yes? Do tell.”
“Presumably, Rick could gain access to the technology that Starman and his companions use to fight crime. Luisa could take a staff, you could take the blacklight…”
“I’m not the type of guy to stay in the shadows,” William said. “Have you seen my attempts at infiltration? Not my strong suit. Appreciate the offer, though.”
Carlyle nodded and smiled. “Well, whatever happens, this new member could help us more than we initially thought.”
-=-=-=-= 🌟 =-=-=-=-
Part 3: Jack Knight
I pull up to a street corner a few blocks away from what many Opal City residents affectionately refer to as the ‘Zayas Strip.’ Hope is sitting in the back seat, done up to look like a completely different person, and Sandra’s already run off to do some good old-fashioned sleuthing. The prosthetic nose I’m wearing feels so uncomfortable already; couldn’t we just have gone for the blond hair dye and nothing else?
Sandra materializes on the hood of her green convertible, startling the bejeezus out of me. “Password for the night is ‘Prometheus,’” she mutters.
“Alright, alright,” I say. “Hey, I know it’s technically your car and all, but maybe don’t jump on the hood, okay? That was probably the biggest scare I’ll have all night unless Grant decides that the Olympia is his new favorite haunt.”
Sandra ignores me. “You two head into the bar; I’ve given you fake IDs for the absolute worst-case scenarios, but you shouldn’t need to wave them around. I’ll never be too far behind, but as usual, you won’t see me. Got it?”
“Clear as ever,” I smirk.
“So,” Hope says from the back seat, “you ready to raise some hell?” Her usually-red hair is now jet-black, and she’s wearing these bright blue contact lenses that accentuate her eyes. If I didn’t know who she was, I would never have recognized her in the first place. Let’s just hope my disguise is just as good.
Sandra vanishes and we walk a few blocks further down Harris Street. As we walk down the street, the quiet townhouses are quickly replaced with a completely different atmosphere of bustling nightlife and flashing neon lights. On both sides of the street are a series of Zayas-owned businesses: strip clubs, brothels, bars, casinos, even a fight club at the far end of the street. It’s almost disorienting; look, I’m not the nicest guy in the world, never pretend to be, but I promise I’ve never been in a place like this. Not quite like this, at least.
Nestled in the middle of the brilliant signs and faint bouncing of club music is a single building not illuminated by lights. The top floor is taken up by some sort of high-end brothel with a sign reading ‘The Elysian Fields’ on it. The stairs that lead down to the bottom floor are guarded by a dude who seems absolutely ripped--like, probably-a-meta ripped--and a sign at the front reads “Olympia Nightclub.” Zayas’ personal shining gem, for those who were affluent enough to get an invitation.
I walk up to the bouncer and am immediately taken aback as I realize who exactly it is. Tony Woodward, aka Girder. Former Flash villain who got in a few fights with David before being broken out. As I get closer, it becomes clear that this dude’s entire body is made of rusted metal. He speaks up in a deep voice as we approach. “What’s the code?”
“Prometheus,” I say.
Girder bows his enormous metal head and steps to the left. “Enjoy.”
As we walk in, the last trace of the booty-bounce music that I could hear vanishes as it’s replaced by a classical violin tune from a distant speaker in the corner. The walls are blue plaster; segmenting the walls are a series of white column-like decals meant to invoke ancient Greek architecture. The bar in the center of the room is also surrounded by similar white columns. On the far end of the club is a wooden stage, currently unoccupied, and a few poker tables. Still not nearly half as good as my restaurant’s interior design.
The bartender walks up to us as we take a seat. His head is completely shaved; from what I can tell from the rest of his body, he appears covered in tattoos of vines and flowers. “Don’t think I’ve seen you lovely pair before around here,” he says.
“No, you wouldn’t have,” I smile. “We’re new in town. Heard about this place from an old military buddy of mind, and as it turns out, we got just enough money to spend on a nice place like this.” I reach out my hand and he shakes it. “David Vosberg. This is my girl, Rita.”
Hope offers her hand as well. The bartender shakes it. She turns down towards the cocktail menu, looking over the options. Her face shifts a bit as she reads over the various options; each one seems to be based on various tragic events that Opal City has suffered through. Down the list, I see the ‘Swift Hydro Plant’ as their fancy new drink, the ‘Prison Break,’ the ‘Doll Killer’--complete with a miniature doll in Martha Williams’ likeness--a drink simply labeled ‘The Mist,’ and, the final drink on the specialty list, the ‘Fallen Hero.’ The description listed it as ‘a tribute to the asshole who tried to bust us finally kicking the bucket. May aliens continue to do what we never can.’
My stomach drops. Fuck, while we go out and bust our balls to make this city a better place, the people in this club turn around and laugh at our failures. Laugh when one of us dies. I feel my blood boiling. I need to stay in character. I can’t blow this for all of us. Gritting my teeth, I take a few deep breaths before sucking it up.
“What’s the matter?” the bartender asks. “Can’t take a couple of dark jokes? Lighten up, man.” He gives me a pat on the back like I would ever be okay with that.
“Sorry,” I say. “It’s just… Well, let’s just say I lost someone personal in the hydro plant attack. One of, uh, those flying shadow things cut my brother open. I’ll take… I’ll take a Fallen Hero, I guess.” At this point, I’m flying by the seat of my pants. I’m definitely excited to get that drink.
“And I’ll take a Mist,” Hope says.
“Damn,” the bartender says. “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t realize that you could… I’m sorry to hear about your brother.”
“It’s fine,” I say. “You couldn’t have known.”
The bartender serves our drinks and we quietly sip at them. Aside from a few regulars, nothing much seems to really be happening.
I feel a slight breeze on the back of my neck. I turn around; nestled in my suit is a small piece of paper. The writing on it reads, ”Can’t find Zayas, but did find something else big. Meet me outside? -Sandra”.
“Hey, uh, Rita?” I clear my throat and put my arm around her, subtly passing the note over to her. “This place is getting really stuffy; I think we need to step out for a second. Whaddya think?”
Hope shrugs. “Oh, alright,” she says, covertly reading the note. “But we’re coming back; this place is just fabulous, don’t you think?”
“Definitely,” I say. We walk outside, brushing past Girder’s cold metal form as we do. Sandra’s waiting on the corner of the street, fully visible.
Sandra turns to us as we approach, and her voice turns to a whisper. “So,” she says, turning to Hope. “Before I bring this up, I figure it’s worth asking. How much do you know about what your brothers work on in the Force?”
Hope takes a deep breath. “Well, you know what’s going on with Mason, Clarence is in the same precinct as me, Barry just got a promotion to Major Crimes, and Matt works… well, I think he works around here, actually.” Her face turns bright red. “What’s going on?”
“I managed to get into one of the back rooms,” Sandra says. “And… well, Zayas is there, and he’s talking to a bunch of associates. One of them was Tell. And I think one of them may have been Matt.”
Hope nods. “Okay,” she finally says. “I… I guess I’m not surprised. He’s always been really secretive about what he’s doing, he’s denied promotions before… but I didn’t really think about it before.”
Sandra sighs. “I know this can be hard to hear, but I, unfortunately, have to ask you for one more favor. We’re here to watch Zayas over an extended period of time, figure out what he’s planning. For that reason, you can’t tell your brothers about our suspicions.”
Hope nods. “Got it,” she says hurriedly. “My… my lips are sealed.” As she speaks, I can tell she’s not fully convinced.
We walk back to the car. This was a short mission, but if this goes right, it will be one of many. And once we’re done, I’m almost certain, we’ll be able to take Maxie Zayas down.
-=-=-=-= 🌟 =-=-=-=-
Part 4: Rick Tyler
“Okay,” I snarl as I pass Luisa in the hallways of my school. She’s currently putting her bag into her locker. “I need to know what the fuck is going on, and I want you to tell me everything. What do you want from me?”
“Rick, calm down,” Luisa says. “Look, there are reasons why we had to do what we did, why we couldn’t just tell you everything as soon as we met you. We’ll explain everything soon enough.”
I shake my head. “Again with the secrets. Just fucking tell me what I need to know, alright? You guys pretend to be my friends, stage some sort of chance meeting with me--I got no idea how you did that. You pay some guys to shoot your heads off if I didn’t show up?”
“More or less,” she whispers. “Look, keep your voice down, okay? What we’re involved with isn’t something we can talk about in public.”
Oh, for Jesus fucking Christ’s sake.
Luisa bows her head. “Meet me out front of the Valor Building, this Saturday at 3 PM. All three of us will be there. Once you get there, there’ll be no more secrets. You’ll get to know everything. Promise.”
I sigh and throw my hands up. “Okay, fine,” I whisper. “I’ll be there.”
As I make my way to class, I shake my head. Fuck this. Clearly, they don’t trust me any more than anyone else seems to. But still, for some reason, I still want to meet with them. Just to figure out what’s going on. And then I’ll be done with them.
I nod my head. That seems fine. Find everything out, then leave. I can handle that.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The Valor Building is one of Opal City’s oldest brownstone skyscrapers; it’s not even close to the tallest anymore, but it’s right in the middle of the city center, and it’s one of the most iconic buildings here. To those who actually give a fuck about Opal City, I guess. I remember that when Dad and Mom were still together, we ended up going for a weekend trip to Opal City. Dee and I were taken aback by the Valor Building and all of the dazzling skyscrapers in the city center; it felt so much nicer than Baltimore did. Then I moved here and discovered that like every other city, it’s full of shit. Tourists just like to hide the shitty parts from view.
I walk up to the front steps of the building. John is leaning against one of the pillars near the entrance, and Luisa and Maya are waiting for me up front.
“Yo, glad you could make it,” John smiles. “We were placing bets as to whether you’d actually show up. Seems like Luisa here owes me ten dollars.”
“Trust me,” Luisa laughs. “If you’d have been there, you’d have agreed with me. He didn’t seem like he was in the mood to keep putting up with our bullshit.” She turns to me. “Regardless, glad you could come. Sorry to put you through all of this.”
“Sorry,” I say, shrugging. “I can let my nerves get the best of me at times. I’m feeling better now, don’t worry.”
“So,” Maya says. “Are we ready to go?”
Luisa nods. Maya turns to the keypad next to her and types in a code. 7, 8, 4, 4, pound sign. The door clicks open. Immediately, as I walk into the lobby, I feel like I’m in a place I’m not supposed to be. The floor is made up of elaborately-patterned stone tiles; large windows to the sides let in a lot of sunlight as I walk to the elevators.
“So, uh, what do you do here?” I ask. “This is just, like, an office building, right?”
“Just, like, 10 seconds left,” Luisa says. “Then you’ll get to know all our secrets.” She calls the elevator, and we walk in. I push my way to the back as John and Maya get on.
“Alright,” John says. “I think it goes without saying that what we show you here today, you can’t mention to another living soul that we don’t approve of. Not even your hero pals. Got it?”
“Yeah, of course,” I say nonchalantly.
“Okay.” John reaches up above the panel of buttons on the elevator and opens up a small compartment. Inside is a fingerprint scanner; John jams his thumb onto the pad and the elevator begins to go down. After a few more seconds, the doors open. We’re in a pristine grey room; computers line every wall, and dozens of people look up as we walk in. Immediately, it reminds me of Ted’s workshop, but on a much bigger scale.
A man is waiting for us in the middle of one of the hallways. He’s wearing a neatly-ironed grey-green suit, with combed-over white hair. He reaches out his hand for me to shake.
“Al Carlyle,” he says. “Director of the American Security Agency. Nice to meet you, Rick. I’ve heard so many great things about you.” I turn around. All three of my so-called “friends” have deserted me, leaving me with this weird dude.
“Uh, nice to meet you too,” I mutter, shaking his hand. “So what exactly is going on here?”
“Well,” Al smiles, “what isn’t going on here? I suppose you’re a bit confused, a bit overwhelmed, so I’ll try and give you the long and short of it. We’re like the CIA, sort of. But a bit more secret. We’re the CIA when the CIA can’t be involved. Take, for example, metahuman agents. Do you know much about the Freedom Fighters?”
I shrug. “Heard of them. The original Starman was working with one of them, I think.”
Al nods. “Come,” he says. “Walk with me.” I sigh and follow him through the convoluted halls and terminals of this absolutely massive underground base.
“Now,” he says, “the Freedom Fighters were a truly amazing group of people. They were a UN task force composed of one sergeant, a handful of regular soldiers, and three metahumans. Well, they fought long and hard for the values that we hold dear to us today, but in the end, the UN saw them as a threat. What’s to stop our enemies from conscripting metahumans too? It’d be another cold war, one that many countries were all-too-eager to stop. So, metahumans were banned from serving in combat.”
He clears his throat and lets out a hearty chuckle. “Well, you see, terrorists don’t tend to follow by our rules. I suppose that’s what makes them terrorists, don’t you think? So that’s where we come in. One of many examples, I suppose, of where we come in. We use many of the techniques superheroes use to fight against potential threats to the land of the free and the brave. And I’ve had my eye on you for a while. I think you’d make a great addition to our cause.”
I pause and look around me. This place is huge. It’s bound to take up more than a few city blocks. When I intercepted the battle Jack was having with Swift, this base was underneath it all, computers typing away. Our school is only a few blocks west of here; it’s very possible the base extends that far too. I haven’t even been in Opal City for a year yet, but I had felt like I knew everything about it. Clearly, I was wrong.
I’ve never been the type of person who hated the government and everything they did. I followed the news, though, and they’ve clearly done some questionable things in the past few years. With Cale as President, that’s just going to get worse and worse. Do I want to be a part of this? Clearly, I don’t think I do. I was just here to get answers, and I got mine. That’s as far as this goes.
‘Take your time,” Al laughs. “We’d love to have ya, but no pressure either way.”
Before I can tell him no, my vision flashes white. A man walking down a run-down section of Snejbjerg Street. Nearly bald buzz-cut, blue eyes, wearing a grey hoodie. A car pulls up to him, firing three rounds in his chest. The blood splatters over the sidewalk. I snap back to reality.
“I have to go,” I say, my voice strained. “How do I get out of--”
Al gives me a knowing smile. “What’s going to happen, and where will it be?”
I sigh. “Some dude in a grey hoodie is gonna get shot on Snejbjerg Street. Drive-by shooting. It was a black sedan, I think. Just let me go, okay?”
Al turns on a radio on his jacket. “I want a dozen soldiers placed across Snejbjerg Street within the hour. Look out for black sedans, check each one for weapons. And get Rick Tyler here a tall glass of water.”
Immediately, the people around me start getting up and gearing into action. A young woman who was manning a computer earlier walks up to me and offers me a glass of water. I drink from it.
“Thanks,” I finally say.
Al hands me a burner phone from his pocket. “If you ever get any visions at an inconvenient time, text me from this phone. We’ll have it handled, and you can focus on the things in life that matter.”
I smile. “Wow, thanks.”
Al nods. “Look, Rick, I know that everything must be really disorienting for you right now, but trust me when I say that we’re here for you. From what I’ve heard from my agents that have been interacting with you, that doesn’t seem to be the case with the other team you’re on right now. They see you as a loose cannon. Maybe they’re right, who knows. But here, we need loose cannons. You can beat up as many terrorists as you want here--or don’t, whatever floats your boat. But you’re welcome here as you are, no matter who that is.”
I pause, looking around for a second. He’s right; in the few seconds I’ve met him, Al has made me feel at home more than I’ve ever been with the All-Stars.
I reach out and shake Al’s hand. “I’m in.”
“Fantastic,” he smiles. “Well, let’s meet the team then.” He brings me to a room with a circular table. Around the table are John, Luisa, Maya, and another kid I don’t remember. White kid with neatly-trimmed brown hair.
“Well,” Al says, “this is one of our finest covert ops units. We’re calling them the ‘Force of July.’ Right now, they’re mostly doing international missions, but we’re planning on bringing them into the spotlight as superheroes to handle domestic matters in the near future.”
He gestures to John. “You’ve already met John Trujillo, Jr., alias: ‘The Black Condor.’ His dad was one of our finest officers before sadly meeting his fate protecting our country. He piloted a one-of-a-kind wingsuit that his son now uses.”
“Besides that,” Al continues, “the Campoverde sisters have been fantastic assets. Luisa first came to us because she needed help with her sister’s metahuman powers. That’s right: she found us. Always a good metric for future success. Turns out, her sister has a bit of a way with plants, and it was a bit out of her control. Now, the two of them serve us as Lady Liberty and Mayflower.”
The last kid, the one I haven’t met, reaches over to shake my hand. “William Vickers,” he says. “Also known as Major Victory. My teammates have been telling me a lot about you. It’s good to finally get to meet you in the flesh.”
“The feeling’s mutual,” I say. And somehow, surprisingly, I mean it.”
Al nods and smiles. “Now that we’ve gotten to know each other, Rick, I have a special mission briefing for you and only you. I can tell that this will be the beginning of a long and fruitful partnership.”

The results are in for Match 8.
Agnes and Arpeggi, in their shrunken states, continued to fight, surrounded by the rising flames of their lilliputian tower, fists flying and Stand blows being taken one after the other.
“You… Callous mother fucker!” Arpeggi cursed, Agnes feeling the singe of a heat blast both from behind and from launched wood. “We’re not aiming for a massacre!”
“You’re not,” Agnes spat out, then, pulling a tab on the table, a massive geyser erupting and launching his so-called ally away, “I don’t give a fuck about this place, and we’re in a Stand battle… And it’s all worthless, greedy scumbags watching! Let the fire spread! Let this place hit the ground so they see what someone with style can do!”
“You heard it here, folks! Agnes talked you all down… C’mon, where’s your passion! Don’t run out and away, c’mon! And here I thought you cared y’had money ridin’ on this…”
Conqueror Worm’s laughs reverberated as Glitch and William found themselves cooled by Ocean Eyes’ nectar, which found itself dissolving quickly but, for the moment, a functional barrier for the injured fighters, watching and listening to what happened.
“Th… They’re fighting each other up there…” William remarked, physically looking as though he was straining to force Ocean Eyes not to hurry up there and tear them a new one. “Glitch, we don’t have time to keep the flames at bay and call up another KST, and if I let Ocean Eyes up there it’ll eviscerate them, and-”
“What’s this? The kid is holdin’ back, afraid of his own Stand! Hey, kid, don’t hate this part of yourself! Ocean Eyes, it ain’t your enemy, that’s a part of you, what makes you special, so don’t be at odds with it! Embrace what it says, because it’s what YOU’RE sayin’!”
William was speechless, there, but his companion was less inactive in that time. Tiger “Glitch” Ricky simply hissed, then, her and her Stand hopping up out of the flames in an effort to brutally, mercilessly pounce upon the self-styled villain and the ally he had come to blows with. If they moved fast, they could bite through that shitty little twink’s neck right now!
Arpeggi grit his teeth, scrambling to find his footing as he witnessed the pouncing cat-stand, finding it hard to breathe among all the burning rubble, fading fast then.
Is… Is this how it ends..? Crushed and mangled as some lowlife’s burnt-up game piece..?
“And it looks like Glitch is about to take it! Shout-outs to Tigran, the only real one here, watchin’ through the fire and the flames!”
“Heh… This is just a bit of a sweat,” Tigran Sins answered, stifling a cough, “I’ll see all seven of these bastards run through games until they’re all-”
Arpeggi didn’t hear what was said next, only hearing his own defiant heartbeat. If he didn’t act fast, Agnes would die… Good riddance, right? But… Ugh, no, even scum like him, they don’t deserve…
He clutched at NEXT LEVEL until his fingers bled, and Glitch and William, both looking at him past their Stands waiting to attack, made curious sounds as yet more crumbled away.
“Mrr?!”
And then, there was white. An overwhelming cascade of baking soda burst from NEXT LEVEL, smothering the flames rapidly as an obscured form zipped up the tower again, grabbing Agnes and hurrying away from the thrown-off Glitch.
“You… Why did you…” Agnes rubbed baking soda out of his eyes, coughing and looking at the form of Arpeggi in this new Stand. “Motherfucker…”
“I have responsibility over even a scumbag like you… You tailed me here, and I’m not gonna let you die and escape responsibility easy.” He turned, then, to William and Glitch, his new form revealed. “Now, actually help me, follow my lead, and I’ll kick your ass later. We need to survive this-”
All four of the fighters, then, felt themselves grow rapidly, their combined weight so close together crushing the table they were on, much as a nearby tabletop wargame that had been setup found itself buckling under the weight of Metra, Oh No, the Black Angel, and their motorcycle.
“Welp,” Worm said with a bemused laugh, holding up the slumped body of Tigran. “Your fire couldn’t hurt him, but smoke inhalation sure could! I guess that means…”
“The winner is FIRE, with a score of 65!”

Category	Winner	Point Totals	Comments
Popularity	Graveyard Shift	12-17
Quality	Graveyard Shift	19-20	Reasoning
JoJolity	BADD GUYS	24-18	Reasoning
Conduct	Tie	10-10

With no more reason to fight, it got really awkward and everyone just sort of ran out of Heartache Casino. William Eyelash, recalling his stand and lost in thoughts, was the last to leave, joining the others in leaping single-file out a window into a nearby alley.
There, though everyone else seemed tensely uninvolved, the Black Angel’s motorcycle revved, and she stared down Worm as he safely stowed Tigran inside his Stand-body, leaning on his golden sword.
“There’s still something I need, Jones… I’ll run you down to get it if it means saving the city.”
Worm laughed, gesturing with his sword. “This thing? You’re huntin’ me down for this… Ah! I see! You’re tryin’ to do that.” Callously, he tossed it, so suddenly they fumbled with it in hand. “Here ya go, then! I don’t much want what Jack Aurel’s cookin’ up either!”
The Angel, worn and exhausted, stammered. “I… You just… But…”
“Lookin’ forward to killin’ me, huh? Get in line, kid… Or waste your time right now! See, nobody here is botherin’, they can all read that it’d be a waste when I’m in such good health! City’s countin’ on you, yeah, and you won’t get many opportunities for bein’ called a hero as an adult. Make it count!”
Then, before anyone could say more, he darted through a nearby wall, waving William and the rest off with a, “Ah, we safely may trust to its gleaming and be sure it will lead us aright!”
…
…
“Asshole.” The Angel turned away, strapping the sword to their back and driving away. “Thank you, all of you. I’ll take this from here… Get yourselves help.”
There was silence as they drove into the sky, scarf billowing before them, and then Agnes started cackling. “You’re all fucking morons… If I didn’t burn that place down, we wouldn’t have gotten away, and some wannabe with no style would be going down as Los Fortuna’s worst villain! Fucking bow and grovel, Jack Aurel’s grave is gonna say ‘spat on by Agnes!’”
Nobody had the energy to dignify that with a response.
An anticlimax is leading into a super-climax, and meanwhile, an ant-loving little boy and an aid worker are racing through their dreamscapes, with a day left to vote there.
Narration:
What is, as of the 1990s, ‘Capital Island,’ was the epicenter of Los Fortuna’s founding several hundred years ago, in the midst of a bloody Stand User conflict, many militias clashing for superiority, in the 1680s, starting with the death of the era’s own Andrew Tiffany, the missionary William Mandolin, and towards its end, knocking people into their senses through the awakening of exactly what he had tried to warn them of.
A grand T-Rex by the name of Megalomania had survived, dormant, underneath the land through the might of its Stand, coated in a goldlike substance, and awoken in a deep rage by the conflict of the locals. Megalomania was met in battle by a man out of place named Aaron Bruno, ‘Sir Aurel’ to most, and Memory Management, and when slain, crumbled where it stood into a pile of bones, feet firm in the ground.
Los Fortuna’s natural history museum was built around this monster’s remains, and Sir Aurel would turn its golden coat into a ceremonial weapon. The power these symbols were imbued with, even with their old purposes lost, were of great importance to the city’s stability.
Scenario:
Outside Los Fortuna’s Natural History Museum, Early Evening
In the blink of an eye, the attention of everyone within Los Fortuna had been turned to the natural history museum. That made sense, of course - considering the looming dark clouds containing the ghosts of the dead within them, the scuffles of the stand users outside of the building, and the vague knowledge that a ritual with the purpose of destroying fate itself was currently being performed within it, it would be out of the ordinary for people to not be paying it any attention. Even those who weren’t stand users that were up to date with the situation were drawn to it by the unusual level of activity surrounding it, from emergency services and VALKYRIE forces alike.
And then there was Bert. They were invested in the whole situation, of course - keeping up with the latest reality-breaking ancient rituals was the least that a wannabe god like them could do. Their status as an observer did raise a few eyebrows - they’d had to shake off both emergency service workers and VALKYRIE forces, who’d both taken the time to try and encourage Bert to leave the area for their own safety, clearly underestimating Bert’s own prowess.
Within the chaos, one could be excused for not failing to notice the drones Bert had been sending around to overhear and oversee it all. First, they paid attention to the chief of security at VALKYRIE, Ugo McBasie, who seemed to be getting interviewed by someone from the Fortuna Hermod, an ODIN-owned news publication (not their usual guy at scenes like this… Wonder what happened to him). Bert had heard that the man was a violent and irresponsible meathead who’d caused plenty of trouble in the past, but he seemed to be keeping a thin veil of professionalism for now. However, Bert couldn’t help but notice a young man in a blue aviator cap standing a few meters behind the reporter and staring daggers at him, perhaps keeping him in check somehow, occasionally piping in for comment about how it was all they could do to surround the place and wait for an opening if they didn’t want a meat grinder on their hands.
Meanwhile, Los Fortuna’s own city council chairman, Raymond Delwin Shimizu was discussing something of note with someone else, who seemed to have just finished an interview of his own. Bert didn’t recognize him, but the interviewer had called him “Chief Prosecutor Cavallo”, and she seemed as if she knew what she was talking about, so Bert opted to believe her. The interviewer, Jillian Something-or-other, had been running all over the scene, trying to get interviews alongside her oversized cameraman Bert recognized as having been that really huge cop who used to hang around Aurelio a lot of the time not successfully doing his job. Not worth Bert’s time.
Cavallo scratched his head in frustration. “Chairman, please tell me that you’ve made progress of some kind here...”
Ray shook his head. “Not much. That stand user that’s working alongside Jack Aurel, Akiko Mizushima, is making it impossible to get in - anyone we do send in is as good as gone. We haven’t even been able to get Admiral Pineapples out. Judging by your demeanor, I assume that the board hasn’t made much progress either.”
“No, doesn’t seem like it.” Cavallo let out a long sigh. “Every day, it’s just more and more work… Now we’re stuck having to deal with this. If nothing’s done, the board’s thinking it might very well cause a disaster unmatched by… Well, anything but the earthquake from thirty years ago. Something like this, bending the rules of the city, and breaking free from it… Los Fortuna’s probably not going to let that slide easily.” He shook his head. “Where the hell is the mayor through all this? Watching anime at home or something, probably.”
Ray remained silent for a bit, thinking to himself. “Well, we’ve got emergency services ready to act for now, and we’re working on evacuating any susceptible areas, but it only works so much.” Before Cavallo could respond, another reporter came up to Raymond, ready with a batch of questions for him. “Well, Cavallo, our work isn’t done yet, so let’s get to it. Saving as many people as possible here should be our utmost priority.” And with that, the two men parted ways for the time being.
Having listened enough, Bert began thinking to themselves. This was a tricky situation - they clearly couldn’t get in as is, but they certainly wanted to. Learning more about the situation at hand would improve their knowledge of the mechanisms holding Los Fortuna together, and gaining control over the ritual somehow would certainly be a feat befitting of a god such as them.
Bert stood in front of the museum entrance, taking another look at the chaos in front of them and continuing to think about the next step they’d take. So many different possibilities, so little time. They thought, and thought, and then one of their drones’ eyes glanced upon someone familiar - a blue haired, red eyed woman wearing a mask, trying to blend in and clearly resenting it, skulking around the perimeter of the area as though she, too, wished to enter.
Yet despite her efforts, Bert recognized her.
“Emilie ‘Dread’ Delacroix!” They declared it loudly, thoughtlessly so, approaching her with a hand raised. “Are you perhaps looking to find a crevasse through which to enter that place as well? It’s quite fortified, isn’t it?”
“Hm?” She wasn’t bothered by the way Bert drew attention to her, still wearing her same very extra outfit under the also quite extra hooded dark robe she was using to blend in. “Ah, pardon me dearly for having failed to notice you… You are Bert, from that incident where we fought on equal terms, yes?”
“I am that same Bert, Emilie ‘Dread’ Delacroix, yes. Though I doubt I could be much mistaken for others…”
“We are both quite conspicuous individuals, yes,” Dread said, taking the conversation into a nearby alley before VALKYRIE goons on the scene could prove it was her, “but no, I’m not terribly nonplussed about my abilities to infiltrate that place… Simply, I am attempting to assess the probability by which my approach itself, through the barricades erected, might occur. If your intentions happen to be helping me sneak through, then it is simply not necessary on any fronts… I have formulated a plan now.”
Dread, now appearing alone, walked through that alley curiously, looking around her and beginning to see her opportunity of approach - there appeared to be a side door there, at which a certain fish-themed hero was sitting outside, looking, Dread knew from their DMs, at funny images of her wife atop the T-Rex skull in the museum.
Yes, certainly, this would be-
“Whoa, hey, it’s you!”
Damnable. Had she been spotted, or..?
No, no, wait. The one speaking, a man also in this alleyway who smelled of cannabis, holding what looked like a GAP bag, was speaking to someone on the opposite side of it, disembarking from a sportbike and handing it to the rider, who was wearing a very ornate-looking golden sword which Dread had sworn she’d seen somewhere before.
“Thanks,” the Black Angel told this young man, accepting the bag and producing its contents - a Roman helmet and black bird-looking tokusatsu cosplay? “Green couldn’t make it himself, huh?”
“I made it,” the guy said, pointing proudly to himself, before blinking. “Oh, you mean like… Showing up. Yeah, no, there was a thing with a mammoth coming down from the mountains, he’s helping East deal with that. Feel like lighting up before you go in? It’ll take the edge off..!”
The rider removed their helmet, coincidentally perfectly timed for the strawberry-blonde with pale blue eyes to stare him down incredulously. “About a million people live on this island, Weedboy. Now is not the time…” The Angel ducked into the nearby building to change, finishing, “shit, yeah, it looks just like the Flying Men do… uh. you should get out of here now.”
“You kidding?” He asked. “I don’t wanna bow out right before it gets good! That’s, like, saying I think you can’t do it!”
Well, these two appeared distracted, so Dread would continue along her way, walking right past them and towards the blockade, towards where Jo was sitting casually, only to be interrupted by-
“Holy shit, it really is her! Stop right there, Dread!”
Oh boy, here we go. This had been happening more lately, since a somewhat frustrating individual went and opened his big mouth about her dangers on Bifrost. Turned out that the head of VALKYRIE was literally in the server, so now she had a bounty on her head after a modicum of investigation into her after that public statement, and her casual admittance thereof!
Two armored guards were pointing guns at her as she stood there, unfazed.
“Don’t come any closer!” One of them, an older woman, said, turning to her younger partner and quickly telling him, “if she approaches, open fire. She’ll eat you alive if not!”
“This again, are you being serious?” Dread was less than pleased. “I am evil, and a murderer, unrepentantly so, yes, but I do not eat people. This rumor is being so blown out of proportion that I find it quite tiresome.”
“F-fuck off and die!” The younger moved to fire his weapon, only to realize there was a knife through him, catching the gun by the trigger after running from his shoulderblade to his fingertip.
Dread didn’t need the help, but like a true friend, Kimijo Kaneko offered it anyway
“Wh-what the-” The older woman cursed as her partner was cut open and dropped. “Fucking useless moron! HEY, EVERYONE, KANEKO BROKE RANK AND DREAD IS HERE TO! NOW’S OUR CHANCE TO-”
The distraction, then, was all it took for Dread to take her first kill of the day. Of course it was fine. She read the news, she knew how these VALKYRIE people were literally at war with poor people.
“Sh-shit, those people just died! More VALKYRIE corpses, and Jo again..!” The stoner declared in the background, and the Black Angel, now dressed exactly like the birdmen many had seen before, paused in her efforts to run past the opening created by Jo breaking formation.
Nobody could hear it or see her lips move, but she apologized under her breath, clenching her fist, but the disguise had worked. 32 Footsteps, the primary guard which would warp away anyone who tried to enter, apparently had instructions to allow in anybody dressed like this, yet none of the intended recipients of this deliberate loophole made their way in.
“Dread, hello, friend!” Jo exclaimed in high spirits, sheathing her knife, but still speaking quietly as she hurried back into place, “good to see you!”
“Yes, it is most certainly fortuitous for us to encounter one another…” Dread agreed, walking and talking with her as the pair were watched in horror. “By any chance, may I come into this museum? I am absolutely curiously intrigued by what is going on within here…”
“Sure!”
A VALKYRIE sniper was taking aim at Dread, then, as she entered, muttering under her breath, “got a shot lined up… I can take her out, and Jo a second later! Two bastards out of the way, at least, and-”
“Wait,” the youth in a blue aviator hat and goggles, speaking as VALKYRIE’s tactician, instructed, “hold your fire.”
“Sir, she just made one of our senior officers fall into rotten pieces! She’s chatting it up with this fish-bitch like it’s nothing!”
“I know, and I’m appalled too, but I think…” The Blue Kid paused, contemplatively. “No, I know it. Dread is here to defeat John Aurel, just like the Black Angel.”
Spinning and pivoting through the air, “Lou” Reed, dressed like a dark, sixth Flying Man, landed atop the skull of the t-rex, which had apparently been adorned in a cute little pirate hat. It made for a fine vantage point, then, to look all over the halls of the Natural History museum, noting one, two, three, four spots, grotesque and morbid statues Remix had apparently erected of ghostly abominations.
She was exhausted, injured from the three-way skirmish she, Metra, and Oh No had been forced to undergo and riding like hell to get here, but she had made it this far, and others had managed to get in too. She couldn’t choke now.
Seven minutes… I’ll just have to destroy those, and be back here in seven minutes. Easy enough… I don’t think I’ve been-
“Green, Orange, and Purple… I don’t believe a ‘Flying Man Black’ was ever mentioned, nor that any of the brothers were into swords.”
Shit. That voice, too… Lou turned around, then, seeing someone standing behind her, a man with long dark hair, brandishing a hammer and looking up at her.
John “Jack” Aurel.
“Even if you are what you appear to be and not in disguise, you should realize that you aren’t welcome here. There’s nothing to be done in this museum worth dying for, and no way to accomplish any more foolish goal if I were to raise attention now. Care to waste some of the time you have left and explain?”
Of course this would happen. Lou removed her faux-beak, helmet, and goggles, staring down at him as her hair billowed in the ceiling fans’ wind. “Jack… I’ve come here to put a stop to this.”
“You’re that kid who’s always running around, huh?” Jack frowned, twirling his hammer. “I hear what you talk about through the grapevine… About how we’re all victims of fate, forced against each other by Gravity. That Stand Users are always going to be molded by this… You understand it too. You understand that people like us prey upon the weak, that it’s in our natures and our place in the world. I want to remove myself from that… Remove these people from that, and atone for what I’ve done.”
“By killing even more people! There’s no way they’ll get everyone away from your blast radius, and you haven’t even given them the chance to!” Lou protested. “It doesn’t have to be this way… Don’t say this is how it has to be! We can save this place, free everyone from gravity, without barreling towards its destruction! I don’t want to kill you, Jack. I want you to stop this crazy, self-indulgent crap and help me do something real!”
“You think everyone deserves this? That Stand Users will simply reform without this? The cycle has started, and it will push to the end even if the wave guiding it fades away completely… Bastards, the lot of us, and I don’t intend to run from what I’ve done. I’ll give you one chance to run away, kid… the worst I can call you is naive.”
Lou drew the golden blade, seeing Jack wince as he clearly recognized its significance, all as her Stand appeared behind her. “We both know I can’t do that, even if I can barely keep my balance up here. And hey, maybe I will die here… Maybe I am fated not to see this through. But then, someone is gonna finish this for me! Your security is already compromised!”
“Fascinating… And you are utterly convinced that, should it work, those he’s slain to commence this ritual to begin with will return outside the city?”
“Remix is full of himself,” Jo said, nodding quietly, “but he and Jack, they researched a lot… Akiko and I, for helping this finish, we can finally go home! Be done with the bad city…”
“She has made this place remarkably impregnable,” Dread agreed, thinking aloud, “anyone who waltzes in waltzes into her backrooms…”
“Unless they have a ‘pass!’” A voice from within Dread’s cloak spoke, and as Jo raised her knife at it in defense, the pure-white, terribly contorted form of Bert tumbled onto the ground, stretching and reshaping into their typical humanlike shape.
“Don’t worry, don’t worry, they are fine, with me!” Dread assured Jo, frankly thankful to have that weight literally off her back. Bert was very light, but even then it was hard to walk carrying someone, let alone not give it away. “We have… Some history, and so I thought I might as well indulge Bert’s request to see this place as well. I apologize for not mentioning earlier, but it was quite dire getting in here past guards attacking us.”
Jo didn’t seem to mind, continuing to lead the pair around, even passing Akiko who was casually, distractedly reading some manga while in a bit of a pirate mood.
They also passed by another scene, slightly more concerning, of an injured old man in a Hawaiian Shirt, close by the frontmost entrance of the place and clutching himself as his fleet of four Stand-starships remaining fired at Remix, who guarded against it with ghost-objects while a Flying Man Red tried to find an opening to strike.
“You’ve been at this for hours, old man, die already! You have no place in the world I mean to birth from your bloodied, pulped remains!”
Pineapples stood, then, leaning against the wall, trying not to show weakness.
“I think that guy is going to lose, at this rate… It’s a shame, too,” Bert, the loudmouth again, remarked. “He might have been a worthwhile pawn in wrestling control away from this operation.”
Dread, Jo, Remix, and Red all gave Bert simultaneous incredulous looks, all in completely unique ways.
Jo drew her knife again, about to transform, only to dodge out of the way of the injured ‘Lou’ Reed, blacked out, helmetless, being knocked away and into the floor, the shock of which made her rise quickly, feeling around. “Where’s the- Shit!” As she sat up, then, feeling around for the saber no longer in her possession, she noticed that she was smack in the middle of something else here.
Hurriedly, she rolled away, standing herself up and looking to the injured Admiral. “You… You’re one of those MFAs, right? How did you-?”
Weakly, he gestured to Remix. “He brought me here in a damned urn! I’ve been fending them off to buy others in the museum time to escape… Everyone in this hall here and Jack, those are the only ones left in the building, minus masses and masses of ghosts. They’re harmless, though… Don’t worry about them attacking unless that guy takes them.”
“I see…” Lou, then, smiled sadly, clutching her bloodied suit. She looked to Bert and Dread, then, moving to get between them and Jack’s incredulous accomplices. “You said you wanted to take him out, right? I overheard…”
“Well, Bert has let yet another cat out of the bag,” Dread admitted, “indeed, I came here with the intent of dethroning Jack Aurel before he had a chance to complete his little ritual. Few others would even be able to get in here.”
“So that’s my role, then…” Lou smiled, then, sighing, ducking out of the way of the Flying Man sending a kick her way, a gauntlet-clad arm emerging from her body, grabbing his ankle hard, and swinging him into the Jo who was shocked to hear Dread say that. “I can’t do anything about Jack… Too fucked up from that ED match…” She grinned, then, mouth bleeding as she stared Remix down. “But this old man and I can at least keep these assholes from interfering!”
Dread, then, watched passively as the five erupted into battle, she and Bert curious about what was to come as, from each hand, the Stand which emerged seemed to fire odd projectiles at their foes. “The ‘I’ll hold them off…’ You’re styling yourself as some sort of exceptional hero, aren’t you?” She seemed amused by that, the irony of their cooperation. “I’m evil, you know… And Bert, at least, is morally ambiguous. But if you’ve settled on putting the city in our hands, have you any advice?”
Over the sounds of laser fire, Lou quickly found time to answer, “yeah, there’s… I brought this golden ‘saber’ with me, and it must’ve fallen somewhere by the T-Rex… In, in a bit over six minutes from now, this ritual of theirs is gonna go through and rip this island open. Before that… They have these ‘failsafe’ statue things, and…” She took a breath, retracting and wincing from a blow her Stand had taken. “Look, I don’t have time to explain it, but you need to smash those up first! They’re there, made up of spirits fused together, to keep these guys safe from the consequences of their own actions… To ensure their safety, and at the same time act as a ‘failsafe’ for the ritual. Gives you the ‘power’ over it, too, in the way that right now Jack himself does… That’s important to stopping it. So you need to smash them first, and then, right as the time passes for the ritual, when the skull of the T-Rex in the center starts to split open and glow and its mouth starts gushing water… Embed the sword into the opening in its forehead, right as it starts to shape. That’s the only way to prevent this at this stage!”
“The forehead particularly, hmm?” Bert asked, pacing curiously and avoiding a cross split attack from Red, who barreled into Lou and was barely blocked. “Why there, per se? Why nowhere else on the thing?”
“Ngh..!” Lou grunted, saved from a follow-up by Pineapples. “I dunno, that’s just where you have to do it!”
“Black Angel… That’s what you’re called, yes?” Dread smiled, turning away. “You will be thanked for this victory… Try to live long enough to witness it firsthand, won’t you?”
“I’d… I’d love to,” Lou answered, smiling sadly, “for five years now, when I first learned there was anything worth a damn in this world, I’ve wanted to protect that… The dark pit of despair that was the first thirteen years of my life, and even so much since, I’d love nothing more than a world where no person is fated beyond impossible odds to suffer that.” She grew serious, then, raising her voice. “Go, now! Leave this to us!”
Bert and Dread approached the T-Rex, impressed at the amazing height and Akiko’s snazzy pirate duds upon the thing, the lab-grown being whistling with impression. “A T-Rex lived ‘til three-hundred years ago… Preserved whole, in this city. It’s astonishing, isn’t it, Emilie ‘Dread’ Delacroix?”
“A curious anomaly,” Dread agreed, examining it from afar, even noticing that alleged sword in the distance. “I wonder why it survived that long, so far after its brethren…”
“It’s because it was a ‘Stand User.’”
Jack approached from the same room in which Dread spotted glints of the golden saber, announcing his presence with that. “That was its ‘fate…’ A savage, cunning animal, ripped from where it belonged. to be a problem to solve and squabble over, to found this city on its literal bones.”
“John ‘Jack’ Aurel… You’d best stand down.” Bert, helpfully, started. “You cannot beat us… Even if we only had seconds to overcome you, I would be too much for you to handle!”
“No, he’s going to fight, I know it.” Dread, meanwhile, prepared Joywave, staring him down with a pointed, grinning lethality. “I suppose introductions are not necessary, with how Bert here loves to say my full name… I am not one to make things curt or brief, John, but consider yourself toppled, usurped, bloodied and dead.”
“The lab accident with a God complex and by far the worst, most grisly of Jo’s friends…” With no real amusement, no happiness in his eyes, Jack chuckled, looking them over. “Of course, right at the end, my final test isn’t some hero… It’s exactly the worst kind of Stand User! The apex predators that I’ve preyed upon, that stand in the way of saving everyone who’s died to reach this point! Of course it would be someone like me to gain entry, wouldn’t it?”
“You speak with such confidence you’ll raise the dead…” Bert was curious. “Even if it costs more lives, such a thing is… That is the realm of gods, John ‘Jack’ Aurel.”
“Not today it’s not,” Jack answered, twirling his hammer in his hand. “Both of you… You’ve been driven here, standing in my way, as agents of ‘fate’ itself. Isn’t that the reason you were ‘lucky’ enough to pass through our defenses… Because you were meant to stand here, and you were meant to watch as every horrible, cruel thing you’ve done amounts to nothing in the face of these circumstances.”
He looks the two intruders over with sympathy for a moment, before steeling himself and clenching his weapon, Stand appearing behind him just as stone-faced. “You may be the puppet of something beyond your control, but you must understand that I can’t let you ruin the plan I’ve bet my life on. I bear you no anger as people, but your role here is something I can’t ignore. I’ll waste our time no longer in arguing ethics, let there be no apologies or restraint until this is settled.”
The other conspirators had been instructed not to intervene if it came to this point, even if it risked the collapse of everything they had worked for. Not if it threatened lives. An enemy to make it this far was deserving of being dealt with reasonably. As the critical moment drew near, Jack readied all the fury that months of waiting had stored within him, and accepted that this may very well be his final true fight.
“Five minutes on the dot now, until ‘that time…’ If what the Black Angel said is true.” Dread looked to Bert. “What do you say we demonstrate incontrovertibly to John exactly how confused he truly is?”
OPEN THE GAME!
(Image credit to CaptainSpooky27!)
Location: A part of the Los Fortuna’s Natural History Museum. The area here is 75 by 75 meters with each tile being 5 by 5 meters. The ceilings here are 8 meters tall. The yellow tiles are the hallways and the green and purple tiles form the different rooms.
The white tiles have ritual shrines built on those areas. There are 7 shrines total and will be explained in further detail in the additional information.
The players start at the south of the map and Jack starts at the top of the map as represented by their tokens. The walls are represented by thicker borders and the dotted lines are the doorways.
At the top of the map, in the pink tile and yellow symbols, is the Golden Sword. It is currently pinned under 2 meters of rubble.
Each wing of the museum houses an exhibit, in the center is the main attraction a large T-Rex in display as denoted by the large grey circle.
The other exhibits are denoted by the letter on them:

• G: The geologic exhibit, displaying and teaching about different rock formations and types
  
• O: The two Oceanic exhibits, displaying the marine life and seabed of Los Fortuna.
  
• C: The climatography exhibit, displaying the different temperature maps and features across Los Fortuna.
  
• A: The Agricultural exhibit, displaying the various fruits and crops grown around Los Fortuna.
  
• T: The two Taxidermy exhibits, displaying a wide range of animals in roped off and glass displays.
  
• E:The Entomology exhibit, displaying photos and models of various bugs.
  

Goal: For the players, desecrate all the shrines and, when time runs out, have at least one of you, living and conscious, at the T-Rex with the golden sword in hand! For Jack, make sure the players don’t stop your ritual before it goes off!
The match will last exactly five minutes, unless of course players are dead before then. It doesn’t end just because players reach the goal.
Additional Information:
The shrines are 2 meter tall marked wood and metal structures, each having an strange carve effigy sitting in the center of them. In order to properly desecrate a shrine the players can do one of a few things, destroy the shrine outright, deface all the carvings made into the shrine, or destroy the effigy hidden within the shrine.
After destroying or defacing a shrine, the ghosts of the dead will begin harassing the players - three ghosts will move towards the player responsible for destroying the shrine (even in a situation where the stands are responsible: the ghosts will target Bert if a Perfect Hair minion destroys a shrine, and same for if anything affected by Joywave does so). These aren't strong, having flat 222 physicals and being partially see-through, but will increase in numbers as more and more shrines are destroyed. Strong enough hits can phase them out of existence, but they'll respawn ten seconds after at the spot that they previously were. They will go directly towards the players and can phase through any walls or objects that may be in their paths (but not out of any attacks), grabbing onto the players and trying to gang up on them once they're close enough to do so, dealing minor damage.

Team	Combatant	JoJolity
Red Carpet Rennaisance	Emilie "Dread" Delacroix	"Wow! It's a hand drawn original color illustration!" You’re a cultured woman, and this museum might very well end up being wiped off of the face of the earth quite soon, so you need to make the most of it while you still can! Make sure to visit and appreciate the various exhibits on display here! (Character Specific)
Suburban Regalia	Bert	"What a terrible person. If I wrote about someone like you, none of my readers would like it." So this man is playing at god, trying to control life, death, and fate themselves? What foolishness! Clearly, only you can do such things, and you do them best! Over the course of the strategy, prove your superiority to this “Jack Aurel“ and take him down a notch! (Character Specific)
???	Jack Aurel	"Where the hell did you go?! Come out, you fucker!" It's now or never. This is the culmination of all of your plans, and failing is absolutely not an option here. During the fight, hold nothing back, and make sure to thoroughly defeat your opponents so that no one and nothing will ever stand in your way again!

(Jack sheet plain text version)
Link to the Official Player Spreadsheet
Link to Match Schedule
As always, if you would like to interact with the tournament community and be among the first to get updates for the tournament, please feel free to PM a member of our Judge staff for an invite to our Official Discord Server!

Ran this for my first time this weekend. Wow. What an RPG. Ive played many and I think ARPG just might be my new fave. At any rate, Hope’s Last Day was amazing. This is what happened...
The group was smart and slow at first. Macwhirr immediately used the first terminal to search the colony for Reynolds and Komisky specifically, before moving further into the base. Sigg used comms to learn the whole colony was quiet (no answers). They then took the ladder near West Lock up to C-2. Macwhirr and Singleton went into Reynolds office—found the broken keycard—while Hircsch, Sigg, Holroyd and Hemming (I made Maria Hemming a full 6th pc) stayed in the hall, Analyzing blobs of ‘clear goo’ near some blood (Sigg) and determining that what they were seeing around them was a rout, not a battle (Hirsch).
They moved to the upper walkway and over to B-Block. Found the locked door. Hirsch decided to just cut into it with his torch, and then he and Holroyd slid the (now wrecked) door open just enough for them to get in. Macwhirr was dead set on the armoury now, and they turned south, but just then Singleton caught movement on her tracker ahead, in the room across from the armoury (the Scout was there). So they decided to quietly turn around and took the nearby ladder down to B-1 and eventually entered lower E-block with little trouble.
Now in E-block, Singleton scanned with the tracker again, seeing movement right around the ladder they were heading for (Southeast corner—I put the Drone there). They froze. Started to argue about what to do, so I had the power suddenly drop, and in this darkness they heard something thumping across the open T-intersection ahead (I sent the Passive drone to the opposite side of the South Lock now, opening the way to the ladder). Sigg and Hemming tried to get everyone to duck into the Geolab (Sigg had his reasons heh) but Hirsch told them to stay focused. Meanwhile Macwhirr had decided for the group that they were pushing forward—I had the lights come back on then, to highlight her bravery—and the group actually snuck past the nearby drone and got up the ladder to E-2!
Once up here they rushed to medlab, found Komiskey and talked with her before letting her out and taking her key (I asked who wanted the key repeatedly; only Singleton put up her hand haha). At this point they started to search the room. Meanwhile Hemming and Sigg strapped the former into the Autodoc, and learned that Hemming herself had an alien embryo in her chest (part of her agenda plot; they didnt know Komiskey did tho). This stressed everyone out—and Sigg started being real nice to her—at just the moment they heard something banging up the ladder from the floor below, and then something thumping in the hall outside (I had moved the passive drone up here to keep them scared). They closed the door and quickly hid—except Holroyd, who had decided to stand and watch the hallway out the door’s window for some crazy reason! Well, the black monstrosity saw his face, screamed and flew at the door. Over the next 4 rounds they all argued about what to do while the creature slammed into it over and over, bending it in. They thought they could trap it in the quarantine booth maybe, but no one was listening to each other and they just ran out of time. The door caved in and they all rolled for Panic as they saw the alien for the first time—passing their rolls and keeping it together as it engaged Holroyd. Singleton was awesomely ready on overwatch, and opened fire with her pistol while Mcwhirr put a bolt into the creature and Hirsch slammed it in the head with a found weapon. In one round they hurt it enough that it fled back downstairs. Luckily Holroyd’s Resilience let him shrug off the acid, though Hirsch was burnt a little. Amazingly, despite being caught in a dead end, they had all survived by working together.
With no time to waste they kept moving now, going and opening the sealed door to the Casino; Sigg and Hemming did this together, getting more stressed out by the corpses than the rest. Holroyd led them through the cluttered, dark tunnel effectively, with no noise, while Singleton did another scan for movement (seeing nothing but that blip they had left in B-block earlier). Once in the casino they hunkered down for a rest, with Hirsch’s Banter and Hemming’s Calming Presence really helping settle things down. During this rest they pushed Komiskey for more info and learned her background and that she was infected too—giving them more stress right after they rested heh heh.
This time they were smart and didn't linger, deciding to try sneaking from the casino out past C-block, then through the comms array to the landing pad, while Singleton scanned for movement. She noticed a blip up near Billy’s bar and a cluster of movement at the landing pad ‘or the shuttle’ but pushed forward. This was going too well so I now had Komiskey stop, she needed rest. But she started writhing and screaming and the chestburster inside her started to birth itself! Hemming showed mercy (and managed to fail her empathy roll, with 5 dice) and used the party’s second, found cutting torch to burn into Komiskey’s chest, killing her and the would-be xeno at the same time. It was in the shock of that moment they heard a terrible screech from over towards Billy’s Bar—whatever was there had heard Komiskey’s screaming; it was time to run.
All became chaos as everyone ran towards the comms array, but Macwhirr was too slow and was cut off from the rest by a hissing drone! Hemming wouldn't leave her though, and thew a cryo canister (one she had taken from medlab) at the beast, getting its attention. Holroyd turned back and charged it then, as Hirsch, Singleton and Sigg ran for the shuttle. The xenomorph attacked Holroyd and carried him forward through the comms array and all the way to the landing pad, where it held the android down and took half his face off with with an attempted head-bite (he soaked all the damage tho!); the other five were able to run past the struggle to the locked shuttle door, which Singleton now started to open with the keycard. It was around this point I had Wes Osterman, from the bar, come running for the shuttle—“DON’T LEAVE WITHOUT ME!!! DON’T LEAVE!!!”. But things were dire. Realizing its victim wasn't flesh-and-blood, the beast leapt at Macwhirr instead, just as she finally got to the shuttle. It dragged her all the way back to the comms array, then further to the West Lock. She wasn't dead though, and Holroyd chased them to help get the xenomorph off of her. Back at the shuttle Singleton had gotten the door open—and she had spent this whole fight negotiating herself up to 1 initiative. She made her move then, even as six facehuggers flew out of the ship’s hatch! A couple people froze up in panic then, another screamed out loud, making it worse. Someone else screamed. Singleton somehow grappled a facehugger, broke it over the doorframe—being burnt badly by acid but not killed—and slipped into the ship as her ‘friends’ we’re succumbing to facehugger fear and grapples... She closed the hatch. The only one not panicking outside was Hirsch (Macwhirr and Holroyd were way back at West Lock now; doomed). The old marine, enraged at the betrayal and ignoring the skittering monsters around him, tried cutting through the shuttle door with his torch, only getting halfway through before Singleton fired it up and took off, finishing the scenario. Even then, when she had entered the shuttle, I told her she noticed two dead scientists in there with her. They each had a hole in their chest. It wouldn’t have been long after ‘signing off’ before Singleton met her own fate....

Update notes: finished adding all the bridges, added a link to photos. I will try to format everything to be a bit nicer and/or make a copy at another location that allows for easienicer formatting.
As requested by raleighspritely in the other bridges thread, this post is intended to help generally newer riders figure out specifically how to get onto each bridge in each direction, where all most of the exit options go and any other weirdnesses each bridge may have.
I'll assume you know roughly where you are and roughly how to get to each bridge. Some are easy to find the entrances for (Burrard), some are weird (Cambie, southbound) and some have entrances a long way from where the cars access (Golden Ears) so if they're super weird I'll try and give you more specifics.
Photos from the day showing most of the bridges: https://imgur.com/a/RvTUs0V (missing: 2nd Narrows, KSB, Canada Line, Arthur Liang)
And now to talking about crossing bridges!
Granville - follow the instructions for Burrard or Cambie
If you insist on using the GSB (don't) SB access is easiest via Howe St and NB access at 5th & Granville
Burrard
Easiest to get onto IMO as the access is right at the ends of the bridge

• South Bound: connection is at Pacific & Burrard, SW corner. From Beach Ave your options are up Thurlow from the east end of Sunset Beach or just along Pacific from the west end of Sunset beach
  • as you get to the south end of the bridge @ Cornwall you can:
    • go right to Cornwall & Cypress
    • go straight, across Cornwall
    • then right onto Yew
    • more straight to Burrard & First where you can go up Burrard St
    • left @ Burrard & First towards Granville Island
• North Bound: connection is at Cornwall & Burrard. You can also hop on the bike lane easily at 1st & Burrard
  • as you get to the north end you can:
    • right to Hornby & Pacific
    • across Pacific then left onto Pacific towards English Bay
    • straight & up the hill along Burrard to Drake, Burnaby St, Davie St

Cambie
Going southbound on Cambie is super weird to get to unless you're already on Nelson St

• South Bound: access is on Nelson St @ Cambie St which downtown is running almost perpendicular to the bridge. If you're coming from the northeast you can connect via Beatty
  • the main exit will take you to Olympic Village Station
  • If you cut off early (through the flexibarriers) you can pop up Cambie to go left/right on 7th
  • If you stay till the station you can hang a hard left at 2nd to cut under the bridge and go to Olympic Village
  • or cross 2nd and take Heather St south
  • or continue along 2nd briefly to find yourself on Seaside Bypas
• North Bound: access is at Cambie & 2nd by the VPD headquarters on 5th. It's that weird intersection of numbered streets you thought were parallel but also manage to intersect
  • veer left takes you onto what is technically a pedestrian only way that connects to Pacific Blvd EB, yield to pedestrians.
  • right takes you onto a hairpin
    • first right connects you to Cooperage Way/Marinaside and basically the Seawall
    • second right will take you up a short ramp and connect to the Smithe St bike "lane" which can be used to connect to Pacific WB, Richards or all the way up the hill past Burrard & Smithe

Lion's Gate
North Bound:

• climb the Causeway through Stanley Park, it's not too bad especially with the "new" fence
• do a 1/2 Stanley Park loop and as you go around the right turn at what you'll think is the top of the hill you'll see a road to the left with a gate, take that and turn right when you hit the causeway
• watch for the little chicane just before the bridge
• descent down the north side of bridge can be a bit rough & bumpy
• when you get to the north end stay right and go down the little road
  • if you go HARD right when it levels out you can connect to
    • the Spirit Trail east bound
    • Taylor Way which will take you to Parkgate, hang a left at the mall and you can connect to the trail over to Ambleside
  • if you go roughly straightl/left it'll connect onto Marine and along to Capilano

South Bound:

• once you're back directly under the bridge, there's a ramp up the west side of the bridge going north, take that, it'll open up and hang a hard right to turn to face south
• on exit at the pumphouse(?) you can
• continue south
  • you'll come across a road to the right, taking it will get you to Park Dr just before Prospect Point
  • continuing straight takes you along the Causeway and connects onto Georgia ST
• hang a 180deg right, then you can either:
  • cut under the bridge to go back north
  • go left up a fairly steep, narrow paved path to Prospect Pt

Second Narrows/IronworkersThis is one of the weirdest/awkwardest, particularly at the north end
North Bound:

• access is at Cambridge & Cassiar. You can connect up via Cassiar from Adanac or Bridgeway St & a small path if you're coming from Portside
• as you turn right off Cassiar onto Cambridge take the small path to the left, follow the path down, along and up and it'll take you straight onto the bridge, yield to oncoming people
• alternate access is a path off the left side of Fellowes st. It connects closer to the bridge deck but IMO isn't worth taking
• Exits:
  • as you round the right turn of the ramp you can:
  • go left at the pedestrian controlled crosswalk and
    • cross Main to go west to Phibbs, A&W etc
    • hard left onto the bike path parallel to Main and connect to the WB bike path on Barrow st
  • go straight and connect to Dollarton, Old Dollarton
    • left on Old Dollarton then onto Riverside or Seymour River can be used for getting to Seymour Parkway, right goes up to Seymour, left can connect to Cap U
    • straight on Dollarton can be used for going out to Deep Cove

South Bound
Access is here basically across from Phibbs. Many ways to get to it, but you've gotta get to that spot to go south.
Exiting: takes you down through the trees, watch for the pair of switchbacks. You'll end up at the bottom of Skeena St.

• right takes you onto the Portside bike route
• left takes you up Skeena through the tunnel
  • turn right across the crosswalk as you exit the tunnel takes you onto the path you may have used for getting onto the bridge NB, go left to connect back to Cassiar
  • continue up the hill gets you to Skeena & Cambridge
  • it's 6 of One, Half a Dozen of the other if you're going south

Arthur Laing
I regard this as an "experts only" type bridge that I wouldn't recommend to anyone not comfortable with riding in fairly close proximity to cars. There's no separated lane and just a narrow shoulder. That said, I don't feel unsafe on this bridge for some reason, but that might just be from riding it a bunch and being used to riding next to cars. Anyways, onto how to get on/off:
Southbound: access is via the car ramp at where Marine & Granville all come together in a 6 lane clusterfuck that was meant to be the highway through Vancouver. Normally I access coming off NW Marine, onto the clusterfuck, pick up speed down the hill and (with a lot of shoulder checking) get across the right most lane onto the ramp. Go up the ramp and stick to the right.
Exiting: things get dicey/exciting. You'll be crossing roads at speed so be shoulder checking.

• Just before the car exit (and right before the overpass) you can dive right onto a pathway
  • going right, then right again is probably easiest for most connections here
  • this path can be used to go around McArthurGlen and connect to Grauer Rd and then onto Templeton to Iona
  • take it to connect to Airport Rd and the bit of mess of trails and eventuall down to Russ Baker Way
• 1st Car Right: Russ Baker Way, takes you around an off-ramp, will take you SB and connects to No2 Rd
• cross Russ Baker exit (watch for cars exiting), keep going along, you can go right on Templeton and go out to Iona Beach

North Bound: you can either access off the paths off Airport Rd here or by riding north along Russ Baker Way and basically sticking right and following the signs to Vancouver.
Exiting: again a bit dicey with some potential lane crossing

• Sticking right takes you left and onto Marine WB/Granville
  • If it's not too busy and/or you brought your sprinter legs, you can hammer and cross lanes to go left at the first light and connect onto Marine
  • If not, carefully get to the right and make your way up to cross at the same light.
• crossing over (carefully) to the left ramp will take you right and onto Marine EB. You can take your first right and go down Oak St, left on Kent Ave S and eventually connect to Cambie St. I don't know if I've taken this route more than once or twice so YMMV.

Pitt River
This is one of the nicest crossings. All the recently built (or updated) bridges are really, really nice once you're on the deck (Pitt River, Port Mann, Golden Ears + Ironworkers post update).
The cycle/pedestrian lane is on the north side of the span and is nice and wide. Access on the west end requires crossing Belfast Ave/Fremont Connector that loops under the bridge. Since access is all for the one side crossing my instructions are written for West->East travel but basically just do them in reverse for East->West.
Coming from NW (Trabouley Poco Trail/Deboville Slough), you do a couple zigzags and hairpins and crossing Belfast St but you can see your target the whole time so this bridge is honestly one of the easiest to get onto.
Coming from the SW, you go under the bridge parallel to the Fremont Connector then see the access to your left. If you were to keep going on the path instead you'd eventually end up at Deboville Slough.
East end of the bridge drops you in Pitt Meadows. As you exit (eastbound) you can immediately do 180deg turn left to get onto the trails. Another left at the river to go south, north and you can make your way out to Pitt Lake on the trails. To access the trail parallel to, and on the south side of, Lougheed Highway take the left at the river then left again at Ferryslip Rd.
If you go straight Old Dewdney Trunk Rd is a pretty nice ride towards Maple Ridge.
Golden Ears
Alright, this one is possibly the most difficult unless you know exactly where to go, partly because they're a long way along the bridge from where cars access. The Southbound Access is at 113B & Airport Way (Maple Ridge/Pitt Meadows). The northbound access is at 100A Ave & 201St (Langley)
Southbound

• You can access the SB access either from Airport Way (coming from the west) or along Maple Meadows Way (coming from the north by Meadowcentre mall). If you're coming from the north or east you go west at the 113B roundabout, cross the road, then left at the second roundabout and hop into the bike lane. If you're coming from the east hang a right at the roundabout and hop into the bike lane.
• The SB exit involves a rather fun ramp down and drops you in an industrial area. Unless you're going east, my recommendation is work your way west until you get to 98A & 192, cross to the far side then hop on the GoldenEars Greenway.

Northbound
Access is at 100A Ave & 201St. You go up the multilevel round ramp. Your exit will basically be the aforementioned 113B roundabout, you can go straight through it to get onto Maple Meadows Way towards the mall, right will change into 203St as it turns north or go left and west towards the airport.
Canada Line Bridge
This one is on the side of the Canada Line bridge section between Marine & Cambie Station & Bridgeport Station.
North connection is on Kent Ave S @ Cambie. However you have to go east from Kent Ave N & Cambie to turn south to get onto Kent Ave S and access the ramp. If you're coming down Cambie, hang a right on Kent Ave N.
South Connection is at River Road and Van Horne Way.
If you're going North then east, my recommendation is take Cambie north, then cut east at 59th. Kent Ave N between Cambie and Ontario sucks butt and cars are frequently impatient assholes on that section (it's also rough, needs a repave and has a lot of rail tracks).
If you're going north then west you can go west on Kent Ave N and then right on Heather before climbing a bit and taking the westbound route of your choice.
If you're just going north then Cambie, Ontario & Heather are all pretty good choices with Ontario & Heather being quieter. I can't remember how all of Heather's crossings are since I haven't ridden it past 59th in years.
If you're going South, you can go:

• west along River Rd towards the casino & Bridgeport Station
  • continue SW around the clusterfucks that are Bridgeport Rd, SeaIsland Way and you can return to River Rd and hop onto a gravel trail that you can take pretty much all the way to Steveston
• south on Van Horne way to eventually connect onto Garden City Way. This route is about 95% bike lane but theres a one or two spots where taking the sidewalk is unfortunately the prudent choice (I think the south side of Sea Island Way for ~50m) before the bike lane reappears.
• east on River Rd towards Shell Rd. If you take Shell Rd far enough south there's a gravel trail that you can use to get to Hammersmith Gate, Horseshoe Way and across to Rice Mill Rd where you can find the Massey Tunnel Shuttle (this is my quiet route to the ferry, my fast route is to hammer south on No5)

Formatting is becoming a pain because this is getting long. Sorry!
Port Mann
This one is like the Pitt River Bridge in that the pedestrian/bike path is only on the north/east side of the bridge deck.
West access is where the Port Mann passes over United Boulevard and where Unite intersects the Mary Hill Bypass offramps. If you're coming off the bridge you can go south/west on United and eventually work your way over towards Braid Station. If you go east on the Mary Hill Bypass you can connect to the Traboulay PoCo trail, Argue St and work your way up to the Pitt River bridge. There's also a mess of trails in and around Colony Farm but you're on your own for that :)
East access is a ways up a pretty decent hill at 152st/112Ave by Dogwood Campgrounds. If you're going north/west, the signage is good. Just don't take the overpass over the highway. How you get to 152/112...up to you. It's a big grid!
Alex Fraser
Ok, this one is another bit of a mess in terms of access. I don't think this one is technically unidirectional like the others, but I recommend riding the same way as cars are travelling and this guide will be based on that. Careful on the deck, there's a bunch of spots where you have to dodge the bases of signs and other spots where the path just shifts left/right.
Southbound:
You've made it over the Queensborough or come in from Richmond. You've made it onto the Annacis Channel bridge and are approaching Annacis island. You'll see a bus-stop on an island, you want to get there (if not busy, drop the curb & cut across, otherwise there's a crosswalk to use), take the crosswalk that goes parallel to the bus-only section of intersection, onto the sidewalk on the far-far side and then left and you'll see the path onto the bridge. You'll get dropped off with the choice of left or right. Left takes you towards HWY17, River Rd which are the two options for getting to the ferry (take River, it's quieter and only marginally slower). Right will take you under the bridge, and after you go past Planet Ice you can go left towards River Rd east, right-then-right to get onto Nordel north/east or just right for the Delta-South Surrey Greenway.
If you're trying to get to South Surrey, go as if you're going up Nordel, get over the overpass, then take the trail that cuts back to the right. This is the North Delta Greenway and is superior to the DSS Greenway in basically every way including being WAY smoother (I ride it on my carbon road bike on 25mm tires).
North Bound:
Starting from Planet Ice, take the path up onto the bridge, ride across, question why you're out here and didn't just take the Massey Shuttle to get home faster...
At the north end of the bridge, you'll end up next to the Annacis exit ramp. At the end of it, you want to take the small crosswalk onto the island with the bus stop, across Cliveden ave onto the island on the far side, then across another little crosswalk onto the path and hang a left. Stick to this path, you'll go back over the Annacis Channel and find yourself at a zig-zagging ramp. At the bottom of that you have the options of:hard right: path through to Hamilton Highway Park where you can take an overpass towards River Rd
left then right: onto Boundary Rd then Dyke rd, you can use this to get over towards Westminster Highway via Fraserwood Way.
left then left (generally recommended): take Boundary Rd north. At Boundary & Boyd you can go right to the Queensborough or left onto Westminster Hwy which you can use to get all the way to Richmond or to connect to River Rd
Queensborough
because New West is at a 45deg angle I'll be using "up/down and top/bottom" for this bridge because it's effectively a hill. Top is 22nd St station end, bottom is Queensborough Landing.
The top connection is just below 22nd St Station. If you're coming from 22nd St station just take the bridge down, it'll drop you on Boyd St. Left takes you to QB Landing. Right takes you to...not a lot. It's narrow, you'll probably have to slow down a bunch as you pass people.
If you're coming from Market Crossing area or New West (both via Marine Dr) I recommend taking the "up" side of the bridge down because it has about 1% of the traffic the "down" side does.
To get to it, the access is the ramp on the "cars up" side of the bridge. Otherwise, you can use the ramp on the "cars down" side to connect to the "down" side.
Either way as you're going down, watch for the hairpins at the bottom!
If you're going up and heading to downtown New West take the "up" side. Head east along Marine/Stewardson. You can eventually head right down a side street to get to S&O because that's why you're in New West right? If not, you're at S&O now. Best way to get through to the rest of downtown is via the Quay.
If you're going up and heading to anywhere else take the "down" side and go all the way to 22nd St Station. Right and past the station connects to 7th Ave across New West. Left you can use to get onto both Marine Dr or Marine Way to go west to Market Crossing, Big Bend, Glenlyon, River District. Straight turns into the BC Parkway and travels under the skytrain past Edmonds, Royal Oak, Metrotown stations.
Knight St
Recommendation: if you can, keep going west and take the Canada Line Bridge. This bridge was NOT intended for cyclists at all as you're about to learn and this section may get a little rant-y.
Northbound:

• Access is off Bridgeport. Technically you're not supposed to ride on the roadway, but the sign for that is so late onto the bridge you have to know this in advance unless you want to stop and lift your bike over the concrete barrier.
• That said, assuming you knew to get onto the sidewalk somewhere at the start of the on-ramp before the barrier begins (it starts at a crosswalk and there's no curb cut), you'll be riding on a pretty narrow sidewalk with barriers both sides. It's rough.
• You'll eventually get to an off-ramp, this is Mitchell Island. You'll need to take the crosswalk across to the left. The cut in the barrier is super narrow. Cross the island, drop the curb (again no curb cut) and cross to the next section of sidewalk. Continue north.
• Next spot you'll get to gives the option of a crosswalk to the left, riding straight into a post in the middle of the path, or dodging the post and continuing straight/veering right. Go right, this takes you down to Marine Dr.
• At Marine you'll find signs pointing to the Kent, Inverness & Borden bike routes
  • Kent involves following the path to the right and taking your first right
  • Inverness involves taking the couple crosswalks and getting across Marine, going under the KSB overpass, hop back on the sidewalk after the bridge and follow the signs up to Inverness
  • Borden I've never done, but I think involves getting across Marine, then taking the sidewalk east to the first street north

Southbound (I haven't gone SB on this bridge in a long time)
Access is via the onramp at Inverness & Marine. If crossing SB on Inverness watch for cars not understanding how stoplights work and driving into the intersection.
Take the on-ramp, hop onto the sidewalk.
First exit is Mitchell Island, get across the island. Get back onto the sidewalk.
Second exit is Bridgeport and provided you take that off-ramp you'll end on a sidewalk on Bridgeport pointed west. First intersection will be Sweden Way, turn left for IKEA, right takes you up to Vulcan Way which can be used to connect to River, No5 & No6 Rds.
Opinion: the KSB needs a cycling infrastructure update more than the GSB. The GSB is bad, but at least Cambie and Burrard are basically adjacent.
Oak St Bridge
Disclaimer: I have ridden across this bridge exactly once, only north bound on the southbound side. I will provide links to where I think the access to the NB path is, but I can't guarantee it.
This accesses I used for this bridge are near enough to the Canada Line Bridge so I would recommend just using that. Also the access Oak St Bridge are all off bigger roads so just awkward to get to.
The north end of the SB path is a crosswalk between 71st Ave & 72nd Ave on Oak St. ( https://www.google.com/maps/place/49%C2%B012'22.1%22N+123%C2%B007'49.4%22W/@49.2061485,-123.1325803,765m/data=!3m2!1e3!4b1!4m6!3m5!1s0x0:0x0!7e2!8m2!3d49.2061446!4d-123.1303973 )
The south end of the SB path is at the southeast end of the Shanghai Wonderful restaurant parking lot. https://www.google.com/maps/place/49%C2%B011'30.5%22N+123%C2%B007'10.7%22W/@49.1918179,-123.1201938,191m/data=!3m2!1e3!4b1!4m6!3m5!1s0x0:0x0!7e2!8m2!3d49.1918174!4d-123.1196477
I *think* the south end of the NB path is here: https://www.google.com/maps/place/49%C2%B011'25.0%22N+123%C2%B006'55.9%22W/@49.1902744,-123.1163805,382m/data=!3m2!1e3!4b1!4m6!3m5!1s0x0:0x0!7e2!8m2!3d49.1902728!4d-123.1155145
I don't know how to get there.
I think the north end of the NB path is effectively the intersection of SW Marine @ Shaughnessy St. https://www.google.com/maps/place/49%C2%B012'17.7%22N+123%C2%B007'45.5%22W/@49.2047843,-123.1293076,104m/data=!3m1!1e3!4m6!3m5!1s0x0:0x0!7e2!8m2!3d49.2049204!4d-123.1293171
Once you're on the bridge it's just ride along until you're at the other end. The surface is weird concrete sections that have all gone a bit convex so it's a weird kinda bumpy ride.
rest to be continued later including: Pitt River, Golden Ears, Port Mann, Alex Fraser, Queensborough, Knight St, Canada Line, Oak St and Arthur Laing. If you need to go between New West and Surrey I recommend just taking the Skytrain.

Location: Arkansas, Ouachita National Forest
Dates: March 8th to Match 10th
Route: Eagle Rock Loop
Distance: ~27 miles
Conditions: Rainy. All day light to medium rainfall forecasted for day 2 of the trip. Highs ranging from 60s to 70s and lows in the 40s.
Who: Me, a friend, and my 14 year old daughter.
Gear List: https://lighterpack.com/vpla1q
Trip vlog: https://youtu.be/V6-HvTWGuHU
Overview: This trail offers the longest loop trail in Arkansas. A combination of the Little Missouri, the Athens-Big Fork and part of the Viles Branch Horse Trail, this trail travels through the southwestern portion of the Ouachita National Forest. Trail difficulty ranges from easy to most difficult. The trail has numerous river, stream and creek crossings and travels over nine mountains
Our Route: Originally we intended to start at the Athens-Big Fork South Trailhead in the southwest corner of the loop. The idea was that we would tackle the 6 ridges on the west side of the loop on day one and deal with the multiple river crossings day 2 (generally considered the crux of the loop). However, with heavy rain some of the crossings can become impassable or require some serious bushwhacking to get around. Since there was lots of rain forecasted for day 2, we opted instead to start near the Albert Pike Recreation Area so that we could knock out some of the larger river crossings before the water levels got deeper.
Day 1: We left Houston around 8am and arrived at the trailhead around 3pm. There was nowhere left to park at Albert Pike so we had to drive down a dirt road to a nearby trailhead. In hindsight this is a better place to park anyways since the limited spots at Albert Pike seem to be used for day use. Albert Pike has limited parking and remains closed to campers. This was the sight of a flash flooding disaster 10 years ago that killed 20 people. We set off towards the loop and had our first small creek crossing right away. Shortly after we somehow missed the connection to the loop from the trailhead and ended up quite a bit off trail. Luckily we had Guthook and could see that trail was a few hundred feet above us on a ridge. We bushwhacked up a hill for quite some time. We were beginning to get a little discouraged as the brush got thicker but finally after summiting the ridge we found the trail. Off to a great start! The rest of the day went smooth. The deepest crossing was still below my knees but the water was moving pretty fast. Feet were definitely soaked the rest of the day. The Southern part of the loop is probably my favorite. Lots of cool rock formations and a lot of variation in the trail. The river looks amazing here and it really encapsulates the beauty of the area.
We made past the junction for the Athens-Big Fork South trailhead and headed up the first ridge of the six we would climb the next day. I felt like this ridge was the toughest. Maybe it was just because it was the first day but it seemed really steep compared to some of the others. In Arkansas they apparently do not believe in switchbacks. As we reached the top we found a beautiful campsite with some awesome views. However it was a little windy and we feared that there could be some lightning as the storm was rolling in. We descended down the ridge and found a campsite tucked away near a small stream. We took advantage of an existing fire pit and attempted to dry our socks and shoes while we ate dinner. I shared my duplex with my daughter and it was the first time I had used it for two people. I was pleasantly surprised with how well it worked. Didn't feel cramped and we had a good nights rest.
Day 2: I could easily sum this day up with one word. RAIN. It started raining as we were packing up in the morning and it literally never stopped until about midnight. Gear note: I am done with my 3F UL rain skirt. It was no match for the combination of wind and rain. The wind would blow the skirt open and I'm pretty sure I would have been equally as wet with no rain bottoms at all. As soon as I got home I ordered a pair of rain pants from Enlightened Equipment.
We made our way through the remaining 5 ridges. I had worried about my daughter keeping up with us as it was her first multi-day hike but I soon realized how foolish that thought was. She ran circles around the two grown men. She would race up to the top of the ridge and wait for us. The temprature was probably in the 60s but with the high winds and rain, it was pretty cold. We passed through the Little Missouri/Athens-Big Fork area around 4pm and stopped to enjoy the amazing river views. The water at this point was flowing rapidly and there are some nice falls a few minutes walk from the recreation area at this trailhead. We were growing tired of the ceaseless rain and decided to make camp early. It was nice to get out of the wet clothes, eat a hot meal, and relax in the tent. We hadn't stopped to eat during the day because with all the rain, it was just more comfortable to keep moving. We were hoping that the rain would let up around 6-7 so we could have a small fire and chat but it kept going until we were asleep.
Day 3: We woke up the next morning and miraculously it was no longer raining. At this point everything we owned was soaked. Main socks, back up socks, shoes, pants, etc. Putting on a wet pair of Injinji socks is not my favorite feeling in the world. We trudged on and made our way along the Little Missouri river. As the day went on, the sun started to poke out and by 10am we hit the best weather of the trip. Sunny and high 70s. Around noon we hit our biggest crossing of the trip. The water was waist high on my daughter and above the knees on me. We bushwhacked a bit until we found a spot that seemed safe enough. We locked arms and crossed. It was a bit a of a rush but didn't feel too sketchy. I think that if we had gone with our original itinerary there was a crossing on Day 1 that would have been hella sketchy on day 2. I'm glad we opted to change our starting spot. The rest of the hike was fairly easy. There's a small summit once you pass Albert Pike and with the sun being out we managed to catch our first really bomber view. Up until now the summits had all been blanketed by thick fog. After taking some videos and pictures we descended back towards the Jeep. Annoyingly my knee started burning in the last 1-2 miles. We were right along the dirt road that we came in on so after slowing us down for a mile I opted to plant my ass on the dirt and have them pick me up. Not my proudest moment but I figured there was no use in causing more damage to my knee when they could easily grab the Jeep and pick me up. Turns out it was nothing serious. Just a mild strain.
Final Thoughts: This was a great hike and by far the best hike within 7 hours of Houston that I've experienced. My last big hike was the OML in Big Bend and it was wonderful to have an abundance of water this time. There is literally no need to carry more than 1L at a time as the water is everywhere. The area was more beautiful then i had imagined and the elevation was enough to get the heart pumping and the legs burning. I have never hiked the AT but it seems similar to a lot of the more Southern sections I've seen. Lots of switchback-less ridges, water, and trees. I would definitely like to try it again at some point and hopefully the weather will cooperate a little better. On day 3 when the sun came out the place lit up spectacularly.
I would recommend Guthook for this trail. It was really helpful in a lot of ways. GPS was accurate and there were lots of campsites with good descriptions and pictures on the app. The trail can be a little tricky to follow at times. We tended to get off trail around the water crossings and then would have to use the app to get back on track.
My poker vlog has basically turned into a hiking vlog at this point. Even when this is all over I'm not super keen on heading back into casinos. Seems like a bad place to be when there is a pandemic lurking. I will definitely be heading back out for more backpacking as soon as I can though. Looking for summer options in case that becomes feasible. Really have my eye on multiple loops in the Grand Tetons but a little worried that without having a permit already, walking up might be too risky. Seems a little less so since there is more than one loop and there are campsites that are outside the NP boundaries and do not require permits.

This season deserves a special award for inspiring flat-line boredom, with each storyline offering at least one awful person dripping poison over anyone kind or thoughtful.
Natalie: Mike wants for me to be the bad one. What is this farce?
Mike: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the I DON’T LOVE YOU.
When we last saw Mike, Natalie was spring cleaning his self-esteem the Marie Kondo way, except she torched everything that sparked joy to make room for more misery. Now he’s outside wondering why science hasn’t granted him the ability to beam onto an airplane to spare him the insult of standing in a Ukraine alleyway, waiting for his maybe-fiancée to flounce down the stairs and demand an apology for…something. Natalie, Our Lady of 1,000 Bluffs, somehow finds the strength and courage to amble down the stairs and sit in the backseat of an Uber for a melancholy airport adventure.
Natalie: Mike, everything is good. You must calm down and stop being so dramatic. This is gaslight like in movies. Now I must cure you of hysteria with vibrators and Valium.
Mike: I mean, do we have to keep filming? What if I jump out while the car is moving? Can that be your final scene?
Natalie thinks that in a perfect world Mike would apologize just for sport and then sweep her off her feet, which should be easy since they’re never on the ground. After several awkward airport moments Mike tells Natalie that he’ll call her later, but he needs time for detox and an exorcism. Natalie remains confused that Mike thought she loved him, based on the 30,000 times she said “I love you,” when he should have been able to read her rapidly changing narrative and anticipate ongoing rewrites. She approaches Mike to pretend she doesn’t know what’s going on, but Mike isn’t falling for that shit. He asks for a goodbye hug, she says no, and Mike bounces. Natalie sulks off to find her people in the Land of Bad Decisions, where Tania is waiting for her upon a throne of skulls.
Back home and no longer engaged, Mike is making pancakes for himself and Uncle Beau. Beau comes rushing in the door to ask Mike how the trip was, and to announce that he lost $25 at the casino last night and needs to borrow from the bank of Mike. So um…Mike’s entire life is apparently like this. Can Mike and Syngin get a beer together please?
Blake: I have friends.
Jasmin: I don’t care if Blake’s friends like me. I also don’t care if Blake likes me.
Blake is getting ready for his friend Everett’s birthday party, while Jasmin warms up her excuses for dodging it. Jasmin knows this party was the plan from the start, but decides against being a good introvert who tells him to go without her and to just enjoy himself. Instead, she attempts to smash Blake’s social butterfly in favor of a sober conversation about yoga and tea. She asks Blake if they can skip the pre-party dinner and just eat together, which Blake agrees to with the caveat that he will continue to express his dismay. Blake orders a drink, and Jasmin reminds him that you can’t talk to Jesus when you’re drunk.
Jasmin latches on to Blake drinking as her excuse for avoiding phase 2 of the evening’s pseudo-social interaction. She says she’s going to call her sister instead and pretend to be mad at him while being secretly relieved to enjoy blissful time away from his flock. What remains of Blake’s sense of humor about this situation gets lost trying to escape his hair. Jasmin tells the cameras that it’s selfish to ask her to go to a party, and totally forgets the part where it’s selfish to derail his plans because that plan is something she doesn’t want to do. Blake says that he’s tired of explaining her behavior to his friends. Neither one of these two is capable of having an adult argument, and are likely on a relationship subreddit as I type, posting a totally balanced report of their latest immature interaction.
Jasmin arrives at Janette’s clinical apartment, and declares that Blake refuses to do anything that interests her, because “everything is always about Blake.” She says that Finnish folks are calmer, while Janette tells her that she needs to keep trying to adapt, and by “keep trying” she means try at all.
Tania: Okay guys, I get it, I’m like, the villain here. Did anyone else just feel a weird rush of glee? That must be Mercury in douchebag and Mars going direct into asshole.
Totally grounded and focused financial wizard Fucking Tania has put her trusty pink shirt in time-out, for a responsible and goal-oriented phone call to an astrologer with a predictable funny name. But not before Syngin fetches precise room temperature water for her to swallow with her lizard tongue to maintain the skin suit that presents some approximation of humanity.
Syngin calls his mother to gather the data necessary for someone to cold-read Tania over Skype, and his mom clarifies that he was born at “twenty to three.” Resident expert Tania mansplains that this means 2:40, and this is apparently how she will feel superior today.
“We are energy beings,” Tania tanias. “And I was born at a certain time for a certain reason, and that reason is to vampire every shred of joy from Syngin’s twinkling soul.”
“Marie Kondo,” Natalia pipes in. “Clean out all of the joy.”
Astrologist Daizy October picked that name on purpose, and tells Tania something about “blueprints of the soul” which makes the first shelf of the New Age section of the bookstore start vibrating. She declares that Sagittarius is the archetype of travel, which is what one would say to someone who can afford Costa Rica but not a shed of one’s own.
Daizy: Now Mars in Scorpio, and Tania is in existence, which means there’s going to be some fighting, and sex is important. Syngin, blink if you need help.
Syngin: Oh yes.
Fucking Tania: Is that blood in the water? No wonder I’m hungry.
Syngin: By “oh yes” I meant yes, I need help.
Ms. October says that their souls bring them together, which would make sense if Tania had one, and asks if they’re soulmates. Syngin says their connection is so vivid he feels like he’s met her before, and then he died to escape her. Tania looks drunk on hurting Syngin, and pushes it further by insisting her first love was her soulmate, and he still is, even though she hasn’t been with that dude for like 8 years or so, and the restraining order keeps getting renewed over and over again. Syngin points out that they met in a star-crossed way, foolishly failing to note that hurting him is Tania’s entire objective.
“I feel like I don’t know what to say, because anything I say will hurt you, which is why I can’t stop laughing. I’m fine,” Tania reports. Then Syngin tells the cameras he needs a break to restore his essence, and Tania hovers in the doorway, eagerly anticipating the chance to harvest from him all over again.
So to recap: Tania, who trusts in the universe, does not trust that the universe gifted her Syngin, but instead believes that eventually she’ll be regifted the tattered remains of her original bottom, who has likely moved on to other astral alignments, and a thousand mile away zip code. Yep, this is pretty on brand for Tania.
Angela: I’m not the bad guy, I’m a tax payer!
Michael: I have a shopping list.
Angela’s chest is newly covered in an ancient pirate treasure map, guiding strangers to the booty in her bra. Her plan is to storm the American embassy and assert her tax payer status as a means of pushing this K-1 process forward. After ambling through the gates and harassing multiple members of security, she emerges and bellows to Michael. She says they wouldn’t let her into the embassy since she doesn’t have an appointment, and strangely, they don’t consider a white lady demanding a K-1 an emergency. Maybe she needed to explain that she’s working with the alternative reality where she can carry a child, and they wouldn’t give her Botox in her uterus.
The next day they go to Michael’s uncle’s house for dinner, but first they have to stop and pick up a microwave for Michael’s mother. Angela is worried that the material expectations increase with every dinner, and says that the gifts can’t keep growing in value.
“Please Angela. We need to present a love and respect microwave,” Michael persuades.
The man working at the store states a price far more than the microwave is worth, and then Michael says he should price it less because they’re going to get something else, too. This is his way of surprising Angela with a required gift for his uncle. She tells the shopkeeper that she’s got 15,000 stored under her best titty, and he should take it and call it good now that she’s his African sister. Okay then. The guy takes it, and she walks away with a microwave and kettle.
Angela is happy to visit his family, especially Michael’s mother, whom she loves so much. As the most junior, or newest, wife, Angela is expected to help cook and serve as a sign of humility. She awkwardly works on plantains while Michael insists he’s not expecting much in terms of domesticity once they are stateside, but he will expect her to cook, in addition to being the only breadwinner and caretaker for a bushel basket of people. Even the producer laughs, because the only thing Angela will be cooking in Georgia is Michael if he maintains that ridiculous idea.
Michael’s family starts asking about their wedding plans, and Angela explains that the K-1 is her family’s only opportunity to see her get hitched. They are eager for Michael to have a child with Angela’s ashy uterus, and his whole family starts weighing in on the matter, which nudges Angela right to the edge. She somehow keeps her mouth shut and remains respectful, even after Uncle says that if it doesn’t work Michael should move on to the next baby basket, which is a regional woman unlikely to arrive with household appliances. Are they trying to get on Maury? If you listen closely you can hear Angela’s internal kettle whistling away, and her microwave chiming ding-ding-ding.
Emily: You don’t have to be a Debbie Downer!
Betsy: I will be one ASAP!
Emily has freed Sasha from the clutches of Indiana in favor of her fake hometown Portland, where she takes him to Washington Park’s Rose Garden to show him how shitty west coast cities are, amirite Trump? Emily says that it’s going to be expensive to go from two-for-one Indiana to Portland’s most expensive suburb, confirming my suspicion that she’s from Lake Oswego, where Real Housewives ferment until their first divorce and rehab stint. This is good news for Sasha, who is very likely to find a wealth of personal training clients and his fourth wife there. Emily says they should get married ASAP, and Sasha agrees without knowing what ASAP means.
“After two weddings, third not so much,” Sasha shrugs. “Fourth will be court house. Fifth, maybe commitment ceremony.”
Emily heads back to scenic South Bend to save hundreds of dollars on a wedding dress. She says she’s leaning towards the Oregon coast as a wedding location, which makes sense if you don’t know that every venue from Brookings to Astoria is booked ages in advance, but she wouldn’t be the first or last person to turn that AirBnB into Plan A and Plan B. Emily’s sister is there to remind her that every idea she has about her impending nuptials is wrong, which is not fair to Emily, who knows every lace dress is better with piercing wind and sand. The salesperson hides in the dressing room from their endless passive-aggressive sparring, before coming out to place a veil and headpiece on Emily and make Betsy cry.
Robert: I’m terrible. Why are you always complaining?
Anny: I would like to go out with Robin or Mike now please.
Hey guys, you know how 90DF always has one trashy, delusional family that believes the fiancé is there to steal their no-money? Well, this round it’s fucking Robert, father of five who appears to be largely free from the burdens of child support...or who perhaps opts for tax-free employment for those very reasons. He’s dragging Anny and the other person who is nice to her (his sister Robin) to a restaurant to meet up with his equally-awful brother Kenny. Robin says that Bryson loves Anny and that she really likes her too, while Kenny gets busy disrespecting and humiliating her before she can work a “hello” out of her mouth.
Kenny wants to know how she’ll be in the future, and Anny suspects he doesn’t know what year it is, so she reminds him that they live in the present, and what matters is how they treat each other now. In response, Kenny says he’s not sure if he’s going to their wedding at all, carrying on the 9DF tradition of families that fail to notice it isn’t all about them.
Now fully defensive and uneasy, Anny asks if Kenny is cheap too, and Robin assures Anny that she wouldn’t be a fan of a thrift store shopping spree, either. This gets in the way of Robert and Kenny’s plan to disrespect women in public places, so Kenny asks if she always complains a lot. Anny corrects him that her issue is that Robert lies, and told her he had three kids instead of five, in addition to making endless empty promises of clothing, an apartment, and any expression of affection whatsoever. Kenny says that he has seven kids, which isn’t normally something you play as clap-back, but okay Kenny. Yes, seven is greater than five.
Anny has had it with them and their apparent plan to overpopulate the planet, and leaves and says that she feels alone. “That’s not the way you talk when you love somebody,” she says, speaking truth.
“Well, my fiancé only loves me on Thursdays. Do you want to get a beer with me and Syngin?” Mike is there for her.
Juliana: In this story, my family appears to be the villains, and this makes me sad.
Michael: I’m rich but my tux doesn’t fit.
On the day of the wedding, Max and CeCe are in conference about the gravity of the forthcoming nuptials, in between mugs of stiff black coffee and plates of almond biscotti.
CeCe: I’m feeling moderately uneasy, due to rigid societal expectations of appropriate age disparity. Surely if this were the era of Ibsen’s “A Doll’s House” this wouldn’t even muddy my mind, but given the unfortunate modern conviction that a second spouse serves as an accessory and not a person, we have some educating to do.
Max: This seems a prudent way to address the offensive tongue of your friend Dakota, who has lived a sheltered life free from parental relationship development and sexual exploration. For now, I’ll simply relish the opportunity to wax poetic on their enduring love once mother has concluded her oratory.
CeCe: I have some concerns about you being assigned this important role, while I am relegated to the background. Is this sibling rivalry? Not very becoming of me, I’m sure.
Max: I validate your feelings of envy, but as the elder sibling I am allotted a generous portion of gloating which will carry all the way into the late stages of my adulthood.
CeCe: Is that when you argue with your wife about 401K distribution while I go to Burning Man in a modified school bus?
Max: Do you bite your thumb at me?
CeCe: I do bite my thumb at you, sir!
Meanwhile, Juliana’s friend Pao is there (no, not that Pao, who is only friends with Juan) along with her friend Cousy, who Juliana describes as like a second mom. Cousy lives in Milan, where Juliana met her during a modeling gig, and she sprung for the ticket to ease Juliana’s loneliness on her special day. In Michael’s wedding prep, we learn that he bought two tuxedos, and decides to wear the one that fits. Juliana wishes her mother could see her in her wedding dress, or was capable of acknowledging her existence when she’s not buying a car for her sister.
A gorgeous clear tent is set up to welcome wedding guests, all but two of which are friends or family of Michael. CeCe is on deck to tell Juliana she looks so pretty, while Max gives Michael a pep talk about toxic masculinity and exploring romantic relationships with an open heart. Cousy then hands her phone to Juliana to share a video she made of messages from Juliana’s friends who want to wish her well. Juliana keeps waiting for a relative to appear in this video, but it doesn’t happen, because apparently Juliana’s family has plenty of narcissists. Or maybe they’re hiding in the wings until the next episode? Either way, the family doesn’t so much as text her, and in the face of this intentional cruelty Juliana starts crying and struggles to stop, thawing the thickest layer of our cold black hearts.
Next time, Jasmin says she doesn’t want to work or smile or breathe, Sasha promises to love his third wife until he doesn’t, Juliana braces to be married by her future husband’s ex-wife, while Syngin finds a friend to mouth “help me” to when Tania is sleeping safely in her coffin.
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